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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 7:59:23 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

I'm not sure, I hear "disciplinary action" in a number of professional settings yet I doubt it means spanking the employee over the knee.

Maybe I've just worked at the wrong places?

Valid point. However you know I was referring to a kinky relationship.

And even in the workplace disciplinary action doesn't mean training you so you can take over a new position. It's punishment in another name.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 8:02:52 AM

OttersSwim

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Discipline is remembering what you want.

I don't consider discipline as an "action", rather as a component of creating a strong -self- a strong -individual- who comes together with another strong -self- to create a dynamic and relationship.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 8:07:42 AM

kalikshama

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For the past two weeks I have successfully been practicing self discipline with the aid of the free http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ and have a thread on it here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4084577/tm.htm

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 8:09:26 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

“There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the
whip of their own remorse.” Seneca

I LOVE this!

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 10:39:35 AM

sincelo

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I think that in any relationship there are forms of discipline .. or punishment. The husband goes out with his friends and gets drunk, the wife punishes him by nagging him and withholding sex. The husband comes home from a long days work and the wife has done nothing all day.... fights.

I prefer the kind of relationship that if i screw up (i am not perfect) it can be dealt with swiftly and be done~no lingering resentment from either parties.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 11:31:00 AM

Karmastic

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Thank you every1, for sharing all these great POVs! I love the diversity of opinions and perspectives. So many smart brains thought of so many smart things I would never think of.

I never said in the OP what I thought discipline is cus I didn't want to shade your answers.

My take on it - discipline translates to a reasonable semblance of rules, order and control, while still allowing reasonable personal individual freedom. In a family-unit or relationship sense it means similar, but with a leader who decides what reasonable is.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/25/2012 5:43:35 AM

gudlookin

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Self-discipline is the quality that allows an individual to act as an mature adult rather than an impulsive child.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/25/2012 6:55:07 AM

Bhruic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Going to go ... cut... get some reassurance.

But.. I am not the norm. Most people are kinky because it is sexy. I am kinky because something twisted me along the way. There may be others out there who need the occasional lifeline. lol but really who likes to admit they are not always good?

I'm with you on this post. Discipline and punishment is very much a part of the relationship I have with my partner/sub. She feels about it the same way... it makes her feel cared for that I discipline her.

And it is not entirely about pain either. In a public setting I can correct her with a look, and she says that look makes her wet immediately. There is a lot of frank talking when issues come up. I take a parental tone and we work things out... and those conversations make her wet as well. Extending that parental analogy... Children without boundaries and punishment feel neglected and unworthy of attention. I think this is a big part of the appeal of discipline and punishment.

As for you second paragraph, which I left complete... Personally, I think you ARE the norm. I think most people are kinky because something did twist them along the way. I know that's true of me. I'm not making a judgement, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but I think it is so.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/25/2012 7:37:22 AM

DommesLesEnigma

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Everybody is different in the ways of discipline. I find that most I have dealt with. it was more a strong sense of shame that they felt. It was up to me to know them and figure out how to show them they did something I didn't like. The art of silence is a very good, but it don't work sometimes. My favorite is the "look", mine will stop most in their tracks.

IMO a misconception is that discipline is all about pain, and it isn't. Say if you are involved with someone that like pain (it turns them on). Than you are giving them exactly what they want if they do something you don't like. Which can be a bumpy ride for you and lead to more problems.

That is why I like being in longer term relationships. You get past the state of "newness". You learn your partner and the more you know them the more discipline is not needed. Because the sense of shame will keep your partner from doing those things that will require your discipline.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/25/2012 9:54:51 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
In a family-unit or relationship sense it means similar, but with a leader who decides what reasonable is.

If you want peace, then reasonable has to be agreed upon by everyone. Otherwise, don't expect anyone to commit to you if their definition and yours disagree.

And punishing people who disagree that they should be punished causes loss of trust and resentment, which spells the end of the relationship.

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