RE: After the Sex (Full Version)

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DaddySatyr -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 1:24:33 PM)

After I wipe off on the drapes, I usually go to the bathroom and either piss like a racehorse or race like a pisshorse. My memory isn't allowing me to decide which. Then, I use some mouthwash to wash out the ickies and make sure I take a nice, soapy washclothe and clean that "mess" down there.

Then, I get some soft chocolate chip cookies and some milk or some pretzel rods and some sodie pop and watch the "sped up" replay of the latest New York METS' loss.



Peace and comfort,



Michael




Karmastic -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 1:31:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

After I wipe off on the drapes, I usually go to the bathroom and either piss like a racehorse or race like a pisshorse. My memory isn't allowing me to decide which. Then, I use some mouthwash to wash out the ickies and make sure I take a nice, soapy washclothe and clean that "mess" down there.

Then, I get some soft chocolate chip cookies and some milk or some pretzel rods and some sodie pop and watch the "sped up" replay of the latest New York METS' loss.



Peace and comfort,



Michael


lol, funny!

reminds me of the definition of a perfect lover - great sex and turns into a sandwich afterwards.




Soyokaze -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 1:58:07 PM)

Why's there always got to be sex? Why can't we just cuddle sometimes?




DaddySatyr -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 2:01:27 PM)

I cuddled with my girl, the other night; three times. I'm a stud, like that.



Peace and comfort,



Michael




Boudica -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 2:03:54 PM)

Why has there always got to be sex? Cuz if I don't get sex, you'll be cuddling with the floor!!




lizi -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 2:12:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze

Why's there always got to be sex? Why can't we just cuddle sometimes?


I don't know, if I'm there with someone I'm attracted to there better be some boinking going on, cuddling is ok for after. That's my priorities, sex first, quiet appreciation and spooning later.




poise -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 2:33:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
After I wipe off on the drapes,
Michael


And here I thought I only knew one dirty joke!
Thanks for triggering this memory, Michael.
I dedicate this posting to you, in all your glory. [8D]

Sex in 3 Languages

The Italian says, "When I've finished a makina da love witah my wife, I go down and gently
tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above da bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman replies, "Zat is noting. When I've finished making ze love with ze wife,
I kiss all ze way down her body and zen I lick ze soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and
she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The redneck says, "That aint nothin. When I've finished porkin' the ole lady, I git out of bed,
walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling."




DaddySatyr -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 2:44:17 PM)

Anything for you, you sweet thang.



Peace and comfort,



Michael




LookieNoNookie -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:03:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

Then what?

It varies by the individual, and the encounter, I suppose. Let's see what you have to say.

For me it is holding what is MINE, and enjoying that moment.



Now, don't quote me because I'm answering your post from memory but, I think the next step is; pay her, then ask her to leave.




hardcybermaster -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:16:21 PM)

After the sex......
don't you have to think of a good place to dispose of the body?




ashjor911 -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:27:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
Sex in 3 Languages

The Italian says, "When I've finished a makina da love witah my wife, I go down and gently
tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above da bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman replies, "Zat is noting. When I've finished making ze love with ze wife,
I kiss all ze way down her body and zen I lick ze soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and
she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The redneck says, "That aint nothin. When I've finished porkin' the ole lady, I git out of bed,
walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling."



you forgot mein:
before I have sex wiz ze wife... she would acually came more than 3 times wiz my tongue & fingers.
no matter how I suck at ze sack, or how fast..... she would not mind..[8|] hopefully[8|]




Anaxagoras -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:32:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
reminds me of the definition of a perfect lover - great sex and turns into a sandwich afterwards.

I thought it was "turns into a pizza afterwards"! If thats the case then mine would be with pepperoni (no double entendre intended).


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
Now, don't quote me because I'm answering your post from memory but, I think the next step is; pay her, then ask her to leave.

Funny, in my case I never have to ask them to leave...




Hillwilliam -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:41:44 PM)

After sex, I'm usually trying to get the pepper spray out of my eyes.[8|]




Anaxagoras -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:44:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
After sex, I'm usually trying to get the pepper spray out of my eyes.[8|]

Goggles and a balaclava should do the trick.




fetisheden -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:52:47 PM)


yes, because rape is ALWAYS funniest to those who do it


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

After sex, I'm usually trying to get the pepper spray out of my eyes.[8|]





Hillwilliam -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:56:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fetisheden


yes, because rape is ALWAYS funniest to those who do it


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

After sex, I'm usually trying to get the pepper spray out of my eyes.[8|]



Grow a sense of humor princess. Failing that, they're on aisle 5 at your local WalMart.




Anaxagoras -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 4:56:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fetisheden
yes, because rape is ALWAYS funniest to those who do it

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
After sex, I'm usually trying to get the pepper spray out of my eyes.[8|]


I took Hill's remark as self-deprecating wit rather than laughing at rape, hence my response.




DaddySatyr -> RE: After the Sex (4/22/2012 7:15:18 PM)

HillWilliam and I are almost never on the same side of an issue but, I can assure you that he does not take rape as a joking matter.

He happens to be my favorite (L)eft-(L)eaning (L)iberal



Peace and comfort,



Michael




ResidentSadist -> RE: After the Sex (4/23/2012 12:49:39 AM)

Then what?

. . . then I put her in the cage, get fresh water for the pet bottle, tuck her in, padlock it shut, patrol the house to make sure windows and doors are secure, turn alarms on and once everything is secure, I go to bed. At least that is one of my fav after sex routines.




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