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hopelesslyInvo -> RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? (4/28/2012 5:36:49 PM)
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i can sup up almost everything in terms of what bugs me and what appeals to me by simply saying i like people who are down to earth.
that covers being bugged by the ones who want you to give everything while they give nothing, or next to nothing. which has nothing to do with the dynamic, it has to do with an imbalance in what people have to offer or bring to a relationship; leading often to the feeling of things being one sided or being alone even when you're with someone.
it also covers the highly annoying belief that "calling yourself dominant", or being a certain gender (and i don't care which) brings with it some form of entitlement; whether it's tributes, respect, or anything else.
i hate when confidence crosses the threshold into arrogance. i hate bloated egos and hearing people rant about what they expect and "deserve". it also annoys me when these people complain about not being able to find anyone; if you were special, entitled, or deserved anything, you would assuredly already have it.
financial dommes urk me, but that's for my own reasons. i want them to be interested in the things they can only get from me, not the things they can get from anyone with a job or by getting a job themselves. i generally just tire of materialistic people that don't understand the meaning of the word priceless. if you can't be happy being stranded on an island with me, it's not me or my company you're interested in, so i have no time for it.
i hate insults and profiles/dommes that talk down to you like you're worthless trash, unworthy of their time. it's mostly stupidity on this one... as long as "you" are looking for "us", only the people without common sense won't realize this person actually values what they're looking for, but for some reason can't stand to admit it. at the same time i like being talked down to in a "term of endearment" sort of way. there's something very amusing to me about someone being very respectful and polite to me in every word they speak except for the one they call me.
for example, receiving a message like "good morning boy" will draw my interest and curiosity, but when i get ones like "TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF YOU WORTHLESS SHIT, HOW CAN YOU SERVE YOUR GODDESS" the only interest i have is the block button.
nothing really repels me as much as people who seem to live in a fantasy world and roleplay their life instead of living it. i can't tolerate fakes, and by fakes i don't mean that in terms of whether people will or won't do what they say, i mean people who have to put on a show while doing it rather than be themselves. roleplaying a doctor? fine. roleplaying a mistress every time i see you instead of being the one you are? not so fine.
things that appeal to me are modesty, confidence, appreciation, and sincerity. down to earth people that can speak plainly never fail to appeal to me. i want a human element in your personality first, and everything else to follow after that and be connected to it.
and while it's neither a good or bad thing, and just deals with how i respond best, i also tend to prefer when dommes don't get bossy and demanding- barking orders around, but rather ask, say what they want, or simply imply it; leaving problem solving and open ended possibilities as an option. i also like the reminder that it's my choice, and that regardless of what she's asking me to do, the real question is will i do it for her. being bossy in the sense of "come here", "lean back", or "grab me a drink" is fine, but saying "my feet are cold" is all you need to say to get me to look for a way to fix it, which also allows for creativity as well as the ability to show i'm "learning" what she likes. saying "i want/want to do" (something) tends to trigger the sense of purpose response from me, where if someone said "i want to relieve some stress" i'm either going to be offering suggestions based on what i know you like or at the very least be asking what i can do to help. one of my personal favorites, especially when it's pushing limits or at least challenging/difficult to do or stand having done is simply being asked, something along the lines of "would you be willing to do this for me? it'd make me happy". it's great encouragement for willpower, so great that it's almost to the point of manipulation with how hard it becomes to say no, especially if it's whispered into your ear or said a certain way. things like that make you feel important to them, and it's nice to feel like you're doing something so special and appreciated by them, that they allow you to realize they know just how much they're asking of you, that they literally will ask. it feels really great to feel like you came through for them in those times.
i also appreciate silliness and being coy as well. such as if someone where to tell me they had trouble with their math skills and wanted me to help them learn to count to a hundred~
other than that, intelligence and people who like to talk appeal to me a lot. i like quiet moments too, but in my experience those come from knowing someone so well you don't need to say a word.
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