Chastity Question?

Chastity Question? (Full Version)

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GodessW -> Chastity Question? (4/24/2012 9:22:06 PM)
My sub/hubby and i have recently talked about chastity. He has a problem with masterbating and this makes him well....lets say not so eager to please sexually and emotionally.He wants to try this as well but i think he is gonna regret it when i start because the thought of controlling his orgasms makes me feel extremely powerful and hot!! He is well endowed and thick. We bought one but to our disapointment it didnt fit so we were considering the curve? I plan on tricking him by tying him up and draining his cock till its a limp noodle! then while hes helplessly restrained im gonna lock him up!! Do you who have experience feel its better to keep him locked up until im ready to play or use this as punishment to teach lessons.For examaple when he does something i do not like i add X amount of days in chastity and if he behaves his time will be shortened by X amount of time ? He is very dominant at work and in life but im am in control in our bedroom. I would like to make him a more passive outside of this and ive noticed the longer he goes without orgasm the sweeter he is.

Alecta -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/24/2012 9:36:33 PM)
If you enjoy using him for sex, it's a better idea to just keep him locked until you want to use it.

subbyinlosangele -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/24/2012 10:05:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GodessW My sub/hubby and i have recently talked about chastity. He has a problem with masterbating and this makes him well....lets say not so eager to please sexually and emotionally.He wants to try this as well but i think he is gonna regret it when i start because the thought of controlling his orgasms makes me feel extremely powerful and hot!! He is well endowed and thick. We bought one but to our disapointment it didnt fit so we were considering the curve? I plan on tricking him by tying him up and draining his cock till its a limp noodle! then while hes helplessly restrained im gonna lock him up!! Do you who have experience feel its better to keep him locked up until im ready to play or use this as punishment to teach lessons.For examaple when he does something i do not like i add X amount of days in chastity and if he behaves his time will be shortened by X amount of time ? He is very dominant at work and in life but im am in control in our bedroom. I would like to make him a more passive outside of this and ive noticed the longer he goes without orgasm the sweeter he is. Personally, I think you are going about this with the completely wrong mindset. First, the notion that you are going to "trick someone" and slap a cock cage on them strikes me as an immature way to begin what is an extremely powerful phase in a sub-domme relationship. For most subs, chastity is something you need to work up to in a loving partnership. You should have him wear it for a short period of time and then build on that. You should openly discuss what it means. I would suggest you educate yourself about this powerful tool. Controlling orgasms can be a very effective aid in a domme-sub relationship, but it's not something you should go into with the flippant and immature mindset that this post of yours suggests.

FantasyKisses -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/24/2012 11:01:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subbyinlosangele Personally, I think you are going about this with the completely wrong mindset. First, the notion that you are going to "trick someone" and slap a cock cage on them strikes me as an immature way to begin what is an extremely powerful phase in a sub-domme relationship. For most subs, chastity is something you need to work up to in a loving partnership. You should have him wear it for a short period of time and then build on that. You should openly discuss what it means. I would suggest you educate yourself about this powerful tool. Controlling orgasms can be a very effective aid in a domme-sub relationship, but it's not something you should go into with the flippant and immature mindset that this post of yours suggests. Agreed wholeheartedly. Plus there is a problem that if you control orgasms with sensory-based stimuli (commands, visual cues), the person will become dependent on the overtime--if you use them often. You literally train your sub to cum only when you want them to. I walked away from the Life to clear my head prior to an injury that kept me out way longer than intended. It fully took me three years to mentally recover from orgasm control training. In order to cum, I had to reproduce permissions through porn first (let me tell you, it's not easy finding it in porn) and work my way up to being allowed to cum through fantasy. If you don't know what you're doing, please do not mess with your hubby's psyche. It's not a power trip thing. And you can do permanent damage or have long lasting effects. By the way Subbie in LA, jello and greetings. I grew up in downtown Hollyweird.

subbyinlosangele -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/24/2012 11:20:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FantasyKisses quote: ORIGINAL: subbyinlosangele Personally, I think you are going about this with the completely wrong mindset. First, the notion that you are going to "trick someone" and slap a cock cage on them strikes me as an immature way to begin what is an extremely powerful phase in a sub-domme relationship. For most subs, chastity is something you need to work up to in a loving partnership. You should have him wear it for a short period of time and then build on that. You should openly discuss what it means. I would suggest you educate yourself about this powerful tool. Controlling orgasms can be a very effective aid in a domme-sub relationship, but it's not something you should go into with the flippant and immature mindset that this post of yours suggests. Agreed wholeheartedly. Plus there is a problem that if you control orgasms with sensory-based stimuli (commands, visual cues), the person will become dependent on the overtime--if you use them often. You literally train your sub to cum only when you want them to. I walked away from the Life to clear my head prior to an injury that kept me out way longer than intended. It fully took me three years to mentally recover from orgasm control training. In order to cum, I had to reproduce permissions through porn first (let me tell you, it's not easy finding it in porn) and work my way up to being allowed to cum through fantasy. If you don't know what you're doing, please do not mess with your hubby's psyche. It's not a power trip thing. And you can do permanent damage or have long lasting effects. By the way Subbie in LA, jello and greetings. I grew up in downtown Hollyweird. Thanks. Yes, Hollywood is a stone's throw from me.

FantasyKisses -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 12:16:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subbyinlosangele Thanks. Yes, Hollywood is a stone's throw from me. Whoops, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies and got caught up in it. Nice! I lived in N. Hollywood, Canoga Park, and right off of the Blvd for some time! How's the weather over there? I'm stuck in Maine for school at the moment, but I hope to move back there. @GodessW I recommend this to everyone--find copies of the old Lifestyle books. Start with The Loving Dominant and Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual (which I believe covers orgasm control). I cannot stress enough to people how important these books are to our Lifestyle, as they cover philosophy, which is not generally found online. Not only that, but it's also quite common for those in dominant work positions to seek out subbie positions when at leisure. That doesn't necessarily mean they are a sub or a slave--they could be a bottom. And there's nothing wrong with that. But you as a Domme need to know what you're dealing with--and of course who you are. I've been away from the Life for some time. Is it still advised and taught that One masters Themselves before taking someone else? The same is supposed to be true for submissives. That might help your hubby discover more about himself and what his hard limits truly are.

Lockit -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 9:14:18 AM)
I find a chastity device a very poor tool in teaching a submissive anything at all. If my dominance must be enhanced by a device... there is something wrong with the dynamics in my opinion. I don't see how taking the focus off his cock and masturbating by putting something on his cock where he will focus on it even more and because of this will be obedient simply to buy freedom as defeating your true goal. If a man cannot obey me without a device... then maybe we both should consider that his will and his cock are more important than my own will and more important than I am. Chastity can be fun... but as a tool to enhance my control... I find it faulty in my little world.

servuspet -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 10:37:48 AM)
I've heard it's possible for guys to get out of most of those devices, is it? And I've always thought their main purpose was as a toy for teasing during play time, instead of a 24/7 thing.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 10:38:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I find a chastity device a very poor tool in teaching a submissive anything at all. If my dominance must be enhanced by a device... there is something wrong with the dynamics in my opinion. I don't see how taking the focus off his cock and masturbating by putting something on his cock where he will focus on it even more and because of this will be obedient simply to buy freedom as defeating your true goal. If a man cannot obey me without a device... then maybe we both should consider that his will and his cock are more important than my own will and more important than I am. Chastity can be fun... but as a tool to enhance my control... I find it faulty in my little world. Agreeing. Though of course there are men aplenty who will say we're doing it WRONG. [8\|] I am not interested in dominating a body part, I want the entire person. Men are more than their sexuality, aren't they? As a fun amusement, and general turn on? Chastity devices are tremendous. The absolute rush of clicking that lock, and tucking the key away safely... indescribable. Mentally, though, I am far more happy with tying a fancy ribbon around it and seeing it in perfect condition at the end of the day.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 10:40:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: servuspet I've heard it's possible for guys to get out of most of those devices, is it? And I've always thought their main purpose was as a toy for teasing during play time, instead of a 24/7 thing. You can get out of them, all you need is a bolt cutter! They take the mini padlocks, though there are also these coded nylon locks that can be snipped through easily. Kind of defeats the purpose, eh? Men can get locked away for weeks, months... a long time. Which is not something that interests ME, since I like that easy access... and as an earlier poster mentioned, conditioned response can be very hard to get over.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 10:50:24 AM)
No tricking people into things. Chastity is great fun but it can not be forced with a happy result. If you want suggestions on what kind of device.....get a metal one(and a belt) If subby hubby is into the idea keep him locked all the time. If he is only partly happy with the thought have him wear it at different times and slowly try to make the times longer. I would suggest against using chastity as a form of punishment. I say this because if you do than it is no longer a form of play. Think of it the way you would if you were playing with a puppy. Teasing them with toys it okay but if at some point you don't let them have a little fun they will stop playing with you. And in the case of many, many, men, they will find someone else to play with. I would also like to suggest you do some research into chastity and the responablities if of the keyholder as far as the physical and mental health of their prisoner. There is more to it than most people realize.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 10:55:29 AM)
MIP!! Are you trying to say that being a dominant involves work and responsibility?

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 10:57:16 AM)
Actually there are many that can be gotten out of without much work on the part of the person wearing them. There are ones that are much harder to escape from and even ones that can not be escaped from without the key, a locksmith, or bolt cutters, leather cutters, etc.

Lockit -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 11:00:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus MIP!! Are you trying to say that being a dominant involves work and responsibility? ROFL! Shit, I got into it for the housework slave and sitting and eating bon bons while they clean. What the hell was I thinking? [8\|]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 11:01:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus MIP!! Are you trying to say that being a dominant involves work and responsibility? ROFL! Shit, I got into it for the housework slave and sitting and eating bon bons while they clean. What the hell was I thinking? [8\|] I keep hoping for people to send me stuff! Doing It Rong. [&o]

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 11:02:05 AM)
Oh, lord, Hibi, I would never say that. I'm sure the op really does think it is all about her and I'm all for her rotting her hubbys cock off with rub and scabs and a nasty infection because she didn't pay attention to what she was supposed to be doing. snort You know it's funny...you need a license to own a dog but many seem to think you can call a person a pet and not have to take care of them.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 11:04:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain Oh, lord, Hibi, I would never say that. I'm sure the op really does think it is all about her and I'm all for her rotting her hubbys cock off with rub and scabs and a nasty infection because she didn't pay attention to what she was supposed to be doing. snort You know it's funny...you need a license to own a dog but many seem to think you can call a person a pet and not have to take care of them. Well they let anyone breed, too, and look where that leads! [&o]

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 11:12:38 AM)
Yes, my sister points that out many times. There are lot of things people should be tested about before they are actually allowed to do them.

FantasyKisses -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 11:39:18 AM)
Agreed, people do many many things people do that they probably shouldn't. For instance, I've noticed that even low protocol is often ignored on websites. People take liberties, particularly in terms of rudeness, that would get them kicked out of a dungeon. And, in thinking about it, it probably doesn't help those actively seeking for community advice so they can learn about whatever their endeavors to be ridiculed. It also makes the community at large seem like a group of .... well, I presume that you know the adage of a person's backside equating to an opinion... I would rather have what would otherwise seem a very silly question brought up than risk someone being injured, possibly long-term. But then, I am a strange girl. . . .

servuspet -> RE: Chastity Question? (4/25/2012 11:51:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain Oh, lord, Hibi, I would never say that. I'm sure the op really does think it is all about her and I'm all for her rotting her hubbys cock off with rub and scabs and a nasty infection because she didn't pay attention to what she was supposed to be doing. snort You know it's funny...you need a license to own a dog but many seem to think you can call a person a pet and not have to take care of them. Well they let anyone breed, too, and look where that leads! [&o] See! Forced chastity IS a good thing!

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