How do you find a domme (Full Version)

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louisianaKing -> How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 7:00:05 AM)

I 've been in search of a LTR with a dominate female that respects my dominate pesonality to the outside world, Imma Boss, but I have a real want and desire to submit completely to a dominate female. but can't seem to find one any suggestions



RedMagic1 -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 7:07:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: louisianaKing
I 've been in search of a LTR with a dominate female

What have you tried?



LaTigresse -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 8:09:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: louisianaKing

I 've been in search of a LTR with a dominant female that respects my dominant pesonality to the outside world, Imma Boss, but I have a real want and desire to submit completely to a dominant female. but can't seem to find one any suggestions


Yanno.........here's the dealio. And you can take this all with a grain of salt because, while I am a dominant woman, men as a whole are not my particular bag-o-candy. Yet, I do have somewhat of a clue about what trips a dominant woman's trigger.

If you were female and wrote the OP, my first instinct would be...."Bahhhhhh..........right off the bat you are wanting ME to respect you?!?! AND, your, so called 'Imma Boss' dominance!?!? What the fuck kinda head trip is this motherfucker on?"

On one hand I get what you are saying but on the other, you've got to know that you are also contradicting yourself. You say you want to submit completely BUT....... What you do NOT seem to understand is that, a dominant woman that wants a D/s or M/s relationship is not likely to be interested in a guy that wants her to play submissive in public but turn the tables, only when it suits you. I don't work that way and I doubt many do.

My suggestion is you not look for any relationship until you work out what it is you really do want. Based on your OP, it sounds more like you want some kinky sex play and not a power exchange relationship.

If indeed you really do want to submit 100%, you've got to accept that regardless of how 'Imma Boss' you think you are, she is going to actually BE the boss and isn't likely to want to pretend otherwise just to protect your fragile male ego. In fact, she may very well enjoy deflating it.......



DommesLesEnigma -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 9:11:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

If indeed you really do want to submit 100%, you've got to accept that regardless of how 'Imma Boss' you think you are, she is going to actually BE the boss and isn't likely to want to pretend otherwise just to protect your fragile male ego. In fact, she may very well enjoy deflating it.......



I'm saying really really enjoy deflating it. In front of your friends, family, co workers, etc...

Just to show that she is really the "Imma Boss" over you.
It is damn funny to watch and I have seen it before many times.

Have you considered seeking out a switch. I've never been involved with one. So I am just going out on a limb to say maybe she would be able to adjust to your criteria better than a Dominant Woman.



MsSylverdawn -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 10:05:52 AM)

I th ink what he means.. is he wants to submit sexually... to a woman... which is fine.. but it would help if his profile was not just a list of his likes and dislikes.. I think he is interested in the physical act of submission rather than the more emotional or spiritual elements of D/s.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 10:17:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: louisianaKing

I 've been in search of a LTR with a dominate female that respects my dominate pesonality to the outside world, Imma Boss, but I have a real want and desire to submit completely to a dominate female. but can't seem to find one any suggestions


LouisianaKing,
I'm not completely clear on what you're saying. When you say "Imma boss", do you mean that you're a boss at work, or that you want to be the boss in your relationship?

Lots of subs/slaves serve in managerial roles at work. But that has nothing to do with your relationship at home.

I have served many Dommes over the years, and I've always been more successful at work than my Domme. I've always managed more people than they did. but that didn't hinder them from saying "On your knees" when I came home after work. Nor did it stop me from doing exactly what they said.

I'll let you in on a little secret. There is actually a type of Domme who gets off on dominating alpha males. The more successful you are in the vanilla world, the more they like dominating you. Similarly, some Dommes get off on dominating physically dominant men. So if you're 6'5" with rippling muscles, she will enjoy dominating you even more than she enjoys dominating a less intimidating man. The more powerful the man, the more powerful she feels when dominating him.

So first you need to decide whether you're actually a sub. Perhaps your "Imma boss" mentality keeps you from actually showing the type of submission that dominant women are looking for.

No matter how much you may think that you are "a boss", I strongly suggest that you stand in front of a mirror and practice saying the following words; "Yes Ma'am".

-Imagine her telling you to go outside and mow her lawn. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to get down on your knees. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to mop her floors. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to go to Walmart and buy her some things. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to rub her feet. Then say, "Yes Ma'am"
-Imagine her telling you to wash her car. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".

Notice that none of the scenarios that I described was sexual. Don't think about sex. Practice thinking about obeying her when she gives you domestic commands. Get comfortable with the idea of doing things that benefit HER, but have no obvious benefit to you. If you do that, and show her that you're willing to put her needs ahead of your own (especially ahead of your sexual needs), then you'll be ahead of 90% of the male subs out there. More importantly, you'll no longer need to ask "How do I find a Domme", because the Dommes will find you. [;)]

I hope that helps. Good luck in your search.
-Roch



TNDommeK -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 10:34:48 AM)

I think you have gotten some really good advice here so far. Rochsub's "yes Ma'am" exercise will really help you out and get you into the groove.



RedMagic1 -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 11:11:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
-Imagine her telling you to go outside and mow her lawn. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to get down on your knees. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to mop her floors. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to go to Walmart and buy her some things. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to rub her feet. Then say, "Yes Ma'am"
-Imagine her telling you to wash her car. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".

Change "telling" to "asking," and if she's vanilla, change "Yes Maam," to, "Yes honey," or if she's a sub and you change it to, "I do love indulging my baby girl," and you will have more sexual attention than you can handle. Kinky women just aren't that different from, well, women women.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 11:12:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
What you do NOT seem to understand is that, a dominant woman that wants a D/s or M/s relationship is not likely to be interested in a guy that wants her to play submissive in public but turn the tables, only when it suits you. I don't work that way and I doubt many do.

This ^^^^ most certainly would not work with me.

NBMG



LadyHibiscus -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 11:12:55 AM)

There ya go, RedMagic, giving out all the SEEEKRITS. [;)]



Rochsub2009 -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 11:38:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Change "telling" to "asking," and if she's vanilla, change "Yes Maam," to, "Yes honey," or if she's a sub and you change it to, "I do love indulging my baby girl," and you will have more sexual attention than you can handle. Kinky women just aren't that different from, well, women women.



Bingo! It seems so simple, yet so few guys seem to get this. I can't figure out why that is though.



Awareness -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 12:53:39 PM)

Christ, can we have a sign directing male subs to the "submit your application, we're all Goddesses" conga line going on in Ask A Mistress? These conversations are depressingly similar.

Oh, and dude. Bottom line, you don't. If you ask here, you'll get attitude. Numbers being what they are, the Domme chicks online end up with a phenomenally inflated sense of entitlement and you'll be lucky if you pull a short, fat chick from Missouri who moonlights as a phone sex operator, let alone a chick you'd actually want to interact with.

Your best bet is to find a vanilla chick who APPEARS submissive but is rockin' a real desire for some quality CBT time - if you know what I mean.



spideycool69 -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 1:03:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: louisianaKing

I 've been in search of a LTR with a dominate female that respects my dominate pesonality to the outside world, Imma Boss, but I have a real want and desire to submit completely to a dominate female. but can't seem to find one any suggestions


You can find one here.

www.goddesslisasterritory.com

She's real and she can be a real bitch at times. She has her account here as well but I don't remember the link to her profile. You can find the link on her website.



mastrgrumpybear -> how to expose all fakes on collar me (4/26/2012 1:30:07 PM)

We need a posting for all gakes and wallet chasers on here



mnottertail -> RE: how to expose all fakes on collar me (4/26/2012 1:32:45 PM)

gakes would be pretty easy to spot, I don't know what they are, but I gotta have a picture of me standing next to one................I just gotta now.... 



RedMagic1 -> RE: how do you find a domme (4/26/2012 1:34:33 PM)

Reposting to change back the name of the thread to what the OP wanted



LadyHibiscus -> RE: how do you find a domme (4/26/2012 1:36:16 PM)

I want a gake. A lavender one.



mnottertail -> RE: how do you find a domme (4/26/2012 1:39:02 PM)

Ain't happenin', wallet chaser.

Your obedient submissive.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: how do you find a domme (4/26/2012 1:43:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Ain't happenin', wallet chaser.

Your obedient submissive.


You are not as much fun as you could be. And who asked ya, anyhoo? I was simply STATING that a lavender gake would be a fine thing, not RON SEND ME A LAVENDER GAKE.

Especially when your gake is NOT LAVENDER.



xXLithiumXx -> RE: How do you find a domme (4/26/2012 1:47:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
-Imagine her telling you to go outside and mow her lawn. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to get down on your knees. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to mop her floors. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to go to Walmart and buy her some things. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".
-Imagine her telling you to rub her feet. Then say, "Yes Ma'am"
-Imagine her telling you to wash her car. Then say, "Yes Ma'am".

Change "telling" to "asking," and if she's vanilla, change "Yes Maam," to, "Yes honey," or if she's a sub and you change it to, "I do love indulging my baby girl," and you will have more sexual attention than you can handle. Kinky women just aren't that different from, well, women women.



After a recent stroll down memory lane with a switchy ex I can tell you that the "I do love indulging my babygirl" line works wonders on me (Imma Switch). It makes me want to do for him even while I want to bind, flog and wax him into a coma. It feeds both aspects of my switch personality. It says that he is doing for me what I want him to do, and is doing it out of a love to please me, but at the same time, it acknowledges the sub aspect of my personality, and shows that it is me in totality that he loves and wants to make happy.

I have also heard of such an animal as a Service Dominant, but have never encountered one in person, and know very little about the dynamic in terms of how it works or what it means in the whole big wide world of BDSM.

I will tell you that what you need to remember above anything is that a woman is a woman. The role that we fill in terms of the lifestyle, personal kink or fetish is nothing more than a way to compartmentalize that part of ourselves. You can approach a woman as a sub, but still treat her as a lady. Instead of sending the normal cheese email of "Hello Mistress, how are you..." Try something like..."Hi, I read your profile, I read your journal, and I think we may have some things in common. I would like to get to know you, if you have time, and are likewise interested in me." Attach a tasteful pic (first time pics that are cock shots are just stupid and in some cases revolting) and do not assume that you need to email her 9999 times to get her attention. If she reads your profile, which I would make sure is detailed about who you are, and not what you want to do to get your dick wet in a kinky way (there is a section on the site that lets you indicate what you like and don't like, an interested woman will do more than give you a glance and will look at these things in detail, as you should before contacting her.) From the gate, you are showing respect on more than one level, and that will catch the eye of many dominant women.

I will say that most of the information is is suggestive and subjective from each woman's perspective, but you should consider each piece as part of a giant puzzle. Just as no two men are exactly the same, nor are two women cut from the same cloth.



And Red! WTF!?

-.-

Why ya tellin it all like that?



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