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Furryboy -> Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca (4/26/2012 2:33:21 PM)
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Hello!
On the front of this room it says "share your experiances", so I thought I'd share something I wrote recently that might be of interest to people. Enjoy!
I've been learning more about my relationship to BDSM, what I want from it and what I’m getting from it. This weekend I attended a workshop where we set intentions then created a ritual play space to let the magic happen. One of the themes that came up was surrender, and that was certainly on my mind a lot throughout the process.
At the beginning of last year I spent a month at an Ayahuasca centre in Peru. For those who’ve never heard of Ayahuasca, it’s a vine that is made into a drink by the Shamans which is then drunk in ceremonies to give visions and healing. The ceremonies last several hours, starting when it gets dark and continuing till the wee hours, and generally will involve “purging”, usually by throwing up. People were warning me that Ayahuasca ceremonies are often very intense, and indeed they are. In fact that was the reason I was going.
Ayahuasca will take you as far as you can go then push you to go that little bit further. One of the ways you can ensure you’ll have a bad time during a ceremony is by resisting. The experience can be scary, but trying to hold it back and fight it will just make it so much worse. It’s only by letting go and surrendering to the experience that you will receive the gifts it brings.
I’m recently starting to understand the true power of this space of surrender in itself. This is a space of deep transformation, a space where magic happens. The question we can ask is, what are we surrendering to? When I go into that space I feel all the preconceptions, all the structures I’ve built up and all the things I’ve put in place that sabotage me fall away. The person I’m submitting to gives me permission to let go of all these things, holds me while I drop all that I hold myself with. This is where I can connect to my deeper self, my Will, whatever you want to call it, what I am before the layers of doubt and worry start holding me back. It's scary and some people can't (or don't want to) take it, but it can also be deeply rewarding.
It doesn’t matter if I get to there through shamanic ceremonies or by being bound, beaten and fucked, it’s all the same in the end.
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