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Where to go? - 4/27/2012 4:31:56 AM   
psadna1


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/9/2011
Status: offline 		I've met a woman who likes to play, and we would like to have an on-going thing if it works out. The problem is, neither of us can 'host'- we both have jobless 'adult' children at home. A hotel would be fine for the first time or two- but if it does become an on-going thing- that gets rather expensive. It's a little difficult to explore our 'kink' in a car, a bathroom, etc- all those places vanilla affairs happen. Suggestions?
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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 5:04:01 AM   
Kainundeva


Posts: 79
Joined: 2/12/2012
Status: offline 		send them to the cinema. cheaper than hotel room.
or just tell them to fuck off and meet friends for a few hours.

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 5:07:25 AM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		Why can't you tell them you have a date and want some privacy? If they are adults, they should surely understand you have the right to your own life in your own home!

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 5:15:21 AM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		tell your kids to go away. they should be old enough to understand why

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 9:08:58 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I can sympathize. We have various almost adults here. And even when we think they won't be home, they tend to return unexpectedly. Work gets slow and they can be sent home early.

It's difficult to tell a kid they can't come home. Especially when they have cars. Hell, even when mine aren't yet home, their friends will arrive early to wait for them.

If you can't get them all out on a Friday evening for a couple of hours, then what about going camping? Tents or rent a cabin. State parks aren't that costly on cabin rentals. You'll have to be quiet but that's something else than being seen.

In addition, if you folks are going to be dating for a while, then introduce your partner to your children. You still won't be able to indulge in the noisier activities, but you can then stay at each others homes. Get a white noise machine, turn on the stereo, etc.

Your children know you're sexual adults, just try to keep the noise level down so they don't think you're being abused/abusive.

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 9:35:16 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Have you looked into seeing if there is a local BDSM community?

If so, there are munches which meet in vanilla settings like restaurants where you eat dinner, discuss a topic and find out about other things such as: play parties which are hosted at local dungeons or people's private homes.

So, it isn't private play but it will be away from grown children.

Also, are any of the grandparents living?
It might be a good time for grandparents to get quality time with a grown grandchild.

Edit: clarity

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 4/27/2012 9:37:23 AM >

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 10:17:38 AM   
spankmetakeme


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline 		I used to have this problem, thankfully they have now all left home, but I would tell them to go out and then i would bolt the doors so if they came back early they couldn't get it in....LOL Eventually they learned!!

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 11:25:38 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm with angelikaJ on this one.  Not only can you do some of your playing at play parties, but the potential is there to meet people who have play space that you may be able to use once in a while that isn't necessarily during an event.  

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 12:40:23 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		all good answers above.

have you considered outdoor fantasies? i'm sure there's a name for it, but something like opportunistic sex. driving home from Santa Barbara, lonely beach = session. Party at fancy restaurant, unused ballroom with covered banquet tables - quickie session. Visiting Alcatraz and wander into roped off area - quickie. And so on.

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 12:52:10 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		If there's any clubs with play spaces available in your area might be worth checking out.

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 2:47:55 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: psadna1

I've met a woman who likes to play, and we would like to have an on-going thing if it works out. The problem is, neither of us can 'host'- we both have jobless 'adult' children at home. A hotel would be fine for the first time or two- but if it does become an on-going thing- that gets rather expensive. It's a little difficult to explore our 'kink' in a car, a bathroom, etc- all those places vanilla affairs happen. Suggestions?


You've just gotta be kidding...!

You're (both) old enough to have adult children but haven't heard that one about "necessity being the mother of invention"? Or that you make time (and place) for that which is important to you.

I concede that beyond what the other posters have suggested, I don't have a practical suggestion but I still think you're just NOT trying hard enough.

OK, I lied - I lurv "outside scenes" - you don't even know somewhere isolated to get it on in the woods? Come on; TRY harder!!!

Errrm, and welcome to the CM boards. <ahem>

Focus.

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 3:27:17 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's difficult to tell a kid they can't come home. Especially when they have cars.

Is it? If they're adults, then they're adult enough to look after themselves and understand that they might need to vacate the premises for a few hours every now and then.

Let them know ahead of time - enough time for them to schedule something with some friends - and then have at it! :-)

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 5:44:42 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		One of mine has emotional difficulties. Telling her she isn't welcome in her own home is not acceptable.

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 5:46:02 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

One of mine has emotional difficulties. Telling her she isn't welcome in her own home is not acceptable.

Well then you're an exception. It would be acceptable in a situation with most young adults, I think.

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RE: Where to go? - 4/27/2012 5:51:03 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
In addition, if you folks are going to be dating for a while, then introduce your partner to your children. You still won't be able to indulge in the noisier activities, but you can then stay at each others homes.
Get a white noise machine, turn on the stereo, etc.



Excellent advice, as usual.

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RE: Where to go? - 5/1/2012 10:36:12 AM   
terrorizeME


Posts: 17
Joined: 3/24/2012
Status: offline 		i live alone (finally) but play parties can be your best evening out and you can meet others as well. though not a public person myself i would go if no other option. maybe suggest they stay over at a friends at least one/two weekends a month? if it was me i'd ask every night but thats unrealistic..

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RE: Where to go? - 5/1/2012 10:56:31 AM   
terrorizeME


Posts: 17
Joined: 3/24/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

One of mine has emotional difficulties. Telling her she isn't welcome in her own home is not acceptable.

Well then you're an exception. It would be acceptable in a situation with most young adults, I think.

Our lives belong to our children no matter how old they are. i promised my wife i'd look after them i never set an age limit to stop. if they need my help they have it. i'm lucky both are good but some need it always, and you can crush a child so easy if not careful.

< Message edited by terrorizeME -- 5/1/2012 10:57:22 AM >

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RE: Where to go? - 5/1/2012 11:42:26 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If one of my adult children was still residing with me..........they would be told to get their ass out of the house and DO SOMETHING for awhile cuz momma needed some alone time.

I cannot believe that ANYONE'S adult children spend every night hanging out at home! Even hermit like old farts like me go out once in awhile!

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RE: Where to go? - 5/1/2012 12:13:26 PM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's difficult to tell a kid they can't come home. Especially when they have cars.

Is it? If they're adults, then they're adult enough to look after themselves and understand that they might need to vacate the premises for a few hours every now and then.

Let them know ahead of time - enough time for them to schedule something with some friends - and then have at it! :-)


And how! Try this... "Kids, you can either give us some alone time when we ask for it, stay over at friends or whatever... or you can get your own damn apartment!"

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Where to go? - 5/1/2012 12:15:04 PM   
Pyramus


Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		Send the kids on a three-week all-expense-paid vacation!

Seriously though, I've seen rent-by-the-hour "day spas" and "hot tubs" in my area. Maybe they're in yours?

EDIT: I just went to yelp and found this for my area.
Grand Central Sauna & Hot Tub Co
376 Saratoga Ave
San Jose, CA 95129
(408) 247-8827

Here's a recent review on yelp which gives an idea of what to expect:
Honestly, I was a little nervous coming here because of the past reviews. But after experiencing this place for myself, it's not too bad! Came here on a Friday night to relax. Cost $20 for an hour. Oh, cash only! Got the key to the room and it's completely private. There's a sauna, hot tub, and a small bed or bench (whatever you wanna call it). There's a shelf with hooks to put your bags on and an am/fm radio on the wall. The hot tub was not too hot. The sauna was ehh... Overall experience was not too bad. Would I come back? Yeah. I need to relax every now and then.





< Message edited by Pyramus -- 5/1/2012 12:18:09 PM >

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