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Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 4/28/2012 6:44:25 AM

plugnplay999

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All,

What is Victorian Lifestyle in BDSM terms?

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 4/28/2012 7:05:56 AM

vincentML

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To me the term conjures up images of Governesses and canings.

Any other thoughts?

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 4/28/2012 7:34:32 AM

Madame4a

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type bdsm+victorian into google and you'll be busy for awhile

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 4/30/2012 7:29:52 PM

plugnplay999

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Madame4a,

Thanks for the input. i googled as suggested but didn’t find too much hard info from within the lifestyle.

What i did glean tells me that the “Victorian Lifestyle” seems based on strict protocol, gracious behaviour and the acceptance of one’s place in a very formal environment with a regimented distrubution of corporal punishment.

To a sub-slut like me it seems not off the mark of any good BDSM relationship. It would seem that ‘costuming’ and antique ‘atmosphere’ add to the allure.

Canes and paddles seem to be Victorian armaments of choice but i assume that devices change with the V-Domme’s particular inclination.

Thanks again.

all best
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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 4/30/2012 8:35:10 PM

Muttling

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I'll be honest, I don't know it all that well but there is a bit more to it than has been described above.

It's disciplinarian household that is patriarchal. In a poly situation, there is a patriarch as well but she submits to the wishes of the master.

The Master of the house has final say on all thing and various forms of corporal discipline are a common part of the household.

There's much more to it in the forms of protocols and expectations, but that's the general jist of a victorian household. From a kink view, it's a very domestic setting with less kinky play and more disciplinary play.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/1/2012 1:40:11 AM

LadyConstanze

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What I always found fascinating is that while it was under Queen Victoria's reign the women still were pretty submissive and even in most of the literature and the fictional porn, the women usually were only allowed to be dominant under a guy, and in the end they had to submit to the male... I guess even in porn they wanted "natural order" restored, and it seems some people are still stuck in that time because they haven't evolved ;)

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/1/2012 1:52:57 AM

ResidentSadist

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There was a libertine BDSM effort online a while ago, might find some info in those type of searches too. Good luck.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/1/2012 4:00:05 AM

kalikshama

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Anyone know what happened to IronBear? I see he hasn't posted in a year. He was Victorian.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/1/2012 5:55:04 PM

graceadieu

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

What I always found fascinating is that while it was under Queen Victoria's reign the women still were pretty submissive and even in most of the literature and the fictional porn, the women usually were only allowed to be dominant under a guy, and in the end they had to submit to the male... I guess even in porn they wanted "natural order" restored, and it seems some people are still stuck in that time because they haven't evolved ;)

I dunno, there's gotta be a reason why masochistically enjoying a caning was called "the English vice" in those days.

I remember I picked up an old Edwardian-era erotica book one time at a used bookstore, and it was all about this English guy who comes to the US because he hears American women are very strict or something, and goes around trying to find women who would beat him. It was unintentionally pretty hilarious.

But then I guess, that's about masochism, not necessarily submission. Even if a woman was doing the beating, it was still really about what the guy wanted.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/2/2012 5:15:17 PM

fucktoyprincess

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FR

I always think of Victorians as incredibly repressed regarding their sexuality, so somehow my first reaction without knowing anything about this is, well, that it doesn't sound like it would be much fun.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/2/2012 6:19:30 PM

Alecta

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Victorian society was rather two-faced. The moral repression was a direct reaction to slipping standards of morality and propriety to attempt to "pull their socks up". The male sexual repression was based on the thought that a man only has a finite number of sperm and it was sinful to waste the potential for life in them. Female sexual repression was carried over from the earlier regimes, and in part as an effort to get society at large to see them as more than their genitalia. Sexuality in general was frowned upon as a distraction from worthier pursuits such as the betterment of one's mind and the human condition. But that didn't stop people from doing it behind closed doors, it just made them ashamed about doing it.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/2/2012 7:17:11 PM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Victorian society was rather two-faced. The moral repression was a direct reaction to slipping standards of morality and propriety to attempt to "pull their socks up". The male sexual repression was based on the thought that a man only has a finite number of sperm and it was sinful to waste the potential for life in them. Female sexual repression was carried over from the earlier regimes, and in part as an effort to get society at large to see them as more than their genitalia. Sexuality in general was frowned upon as a distraction from worthier pursuits such as the betterment of one's mind and the human condition. But that didn't stop people from doing it behind closed doors, it just made them ashamed about doing it.

Thank you for this.

Although, well, I still think it doesn't sound like much fun. I'm not big on feeling ashamed about things.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/2/2012 7:47:50 PM

Alecta

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess
Although, well, I still think it doesn't sound like much fun. I'm not big on feeling ashamed about things.

Well, Victorian era porn would have us believing that they did. And spanking. they seemed to be huge on the impact stuff.

Victorians had the oddest idea of fun. Possibly because they had no internet. Whereas today we would look up cute kitty/puppy videos on youtube, they would play "dress up and pose" (there's a proper word for this, darned if I can remember it off the top of my head). They'd come up with some kind of theme and costume someone up for it, and that person poses for everyone else to admire and applaud.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/2/2012 7:57:38 PM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess
Although, well, I still think it doesn't sound like much fun. I'm not big on feeling ashamed about things.

Well, Victorian era porn would have us believing that they did. And spanking. they seemed to be huge on the impact stuff.

Victorians had the oddest idea of fun. Possibly because they had no internet. Whereas today we would look up cute kitty/puppy videos on youtube, they would play "dress up and pose" (there's a proper word for this, darned if I can remember it off the top of my head). They'd come up with some kind of theme and costume someone up for it, and that person poses for everyone else to admire and applaud.

Did they enjoy spanking as we think of it? Or was it more the strict disciplinary schoolmaster type stuff? I'm having a hard time thinking of Victorian women being spanked for endorphin rush. But I admit to knowing very little about this era from a BDSM and/or sexual perspective.

Theme and costume - I don't know - sounds like a private BDSM party to me.....

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/2/2012 9:54:06 PM

Alecta

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Bearing in mind this was porn, yes, they enjoyed it very much for its sexual enhancing qualities.

Floggings/whipping/lashings were employed generously as a disciplinary action in Britain until the 1940s. In the late 18th through 19th century, it became a sore point between the countries due to clashing opinions on its use, particularly in the military. It probably wouldn't have become such a big deal if there hadn't been any military conflicts and co-operation attempts at the time. The objections contributed to the idea that it takes a "real man's man" to take a flogging (since the Frenchies were poofs, them abolishing the flogging punishment in their armies at the turn of the century was a sign of how poofy French men were). It also made it a taboo while high society debated and philosophised on its savagery versus the virtue of that particular type of discipline.

I do suspect that the apparent obsession with flogging in Victorian times is a perception created by a ban on pornographic subjects in general that the subject of flogging weaselled away from under the excuse that it is a penal punishment and not a sexual deviation per say. I also suspect that certain people had way too much fun with the impressive range of male chastity instruments they had available then.

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RE: Wot Is Victorian Lifestyle? - 5/2/2012 10:15:51 PM

Pyramus