CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf
Hiya to everyone I know and alot I don't. My re-introduction is in the intro area, but thought I would post in one of the old sections I used to frequent when I posted alot.
Have been doing some reading when I get a chance, and as things always do, they change. So with that said:
Why are you here? What do you look to get out of these forums?
Personally I look for stimulating discussion, that I can hopefully learn and shar my knowledge in. Usually they will develop friendly online aquaintences (sp?) that you can chat and discuss things with.
Live well,
Orion
I'm here because I can't stay away. Sometimes I get irritated but it doesn't last long, on those days I stick to the mailroom side for the day or two or else go to my favorite online Pokemon site.
It is a relief to come here and be around kinky others. I can relax and not have my neighbor telling me that God made men the official head of household, and I can spend time away from my extended family telling me that as a female it is my place to be submissive to males. (Yes, my mother lectured me on this a couple of months ago, and had a talk with my boyfriend about "being the man" and to not let my bossy ways chase him away. I'm 48, dammit! LOL.) I live in the Bible Belt, can you tell? It is a long way from California, where I lived before moving back here.
This place satisfies several needs of mine and over the years I have benefitted from coming to CM in many ways. All of my bottoms and past subs were found from CM, as well as my current and very last submissive (knocks on wood). My need to teach has been satisfied, as well as my need to hear the opinions and experiences of many others from both sides of the kneel. It was also through CM that I learned about munch groups, and about Fetlife so I can keep track of events. I was very leery of going to munches for all the usual reasons, but after hearing CM regulars telling posters (probably thousands of times) to "get thee to a munch", I finally started going. Through CM I found my mentor...she taught me to be safe and opened my eyes to a lot of things. With my past history of abuse it was very difficult for me to process the fact that impact play was arousing. Maybe others didn't go through shock and horror and fear of becoming a monster, lol, but I certainly did. Hearing the submissive's point of view, how she and her past Doms interacted, and about subspace and...that flogging all by itself gave her orgasms...helped me to process all of this better.
Several threads on the subject of aftercare really opened my eyes, helping me to see that the world was much bigger than my own POV. *grins* I needed that. One I appreciated a lot was that one written by, I believe, SimplyMichael. My apologies if I am confuzzled. :) He talked about people thinking aftercare always needed to be done, the peer pressure to do it a certain way, not realizing that some people work hard to be taken to a very ugly place and they need to be there for a while, without "aftercare". Since reading that, I see that with some, "aftercare" in a dungeon or play party might actually involve keeping well intenioned busybodies from interrupting and ruining their headspace by bringing blankies and drinks and something to eat, etc.
I like becoming more aware. I like having kinky others to turn to for their advice and opinions. I also appreciate it that others will speak their minds, even if only in private, to let me know their opinion of something I said. In vanilla where I live, instead of disagreeing with someone, it is polite to change the subject or just be silent for a moment and THEN change the subject. I learn more when someone comes to me and says, "Cynthia, I like you but...in this instance I feel you're full of s***." 
It is nice and comforting to see many of the same faces here over the years. Seeing a post from someone who hasn't posted in several years makes my day. I know, this is a Cynthia thing, but as a kid and young adult I moved from state to state, city to city on average of once per year. All over the USA. Familar faces...still feels like a new concept to me. Especailly after those last two McDowell County floods that made me relocate yet again to a new city...granted that was a bit over ten years ago, I think, but when I moved here I was still having my cancer woes and yanno, people don't wanna make friends with someone new who might die soon. Then I kept making friends who ended up dying. Coming to CM helped me to make new friends and kept me from feeling socially isolated, and yeah, even before going to munches I was meeting many people from the mail room. CM is my gateway to social activities.
I live in the middle of No and Where...ya either meet people in church, in bars, at work, weddings, or at family reunions. I didn't plan it this way...but...CM is a great alternative to going to some bar or church...and then establishing a relationship with some guy who will say "You wanna do WHAT???!" (Gawd I was so tired of having guys say that the simplest things I wanted to do were kinky...and they said kinky like it was a bad thing.)
CollarMe has even helped me to clean my house.  Okay, I'm not referring to my "house elf" I collared, but to having stuff I love and need to get rid of to a happy home. I have waaay too much Pokemon stuff, and I found a fem sub who loves Pokemon and wants to have my old games (over a dozen, lol). I couldn't toss these in the trash and I'm not into selling stuff on ebay. Anyway, I searched all over the house and snipped Pokemon fabric "fat quarters" from several of my stashes, as well as stickers and thingies from McDonalds and Burger King and stuff like Pokemon crayons and Pokemon yo-yos and CCG cards I don't need. Yay! I filled a box and am getting it out of my house! My treasures will be in good hands, being played with instead of collecting dust in storage.
A year or two back, I had a lump in my arm pit that made me paranoid. I thought that my lymphoma was back. I confided in a friend from these message boards that... Words cannot describe her. My biggest fear is what would happen to my adult, high functioning autistic (began as "early infantile autism" and is a lot better) son. My family have been playing hot potato over the thought of who would be stuck with him if I died, and with each person who offered I knew that he would be dreadfully unhappy. (For example, my sister would come here, have him pack one suitcase, take the cats to the pound, sell the house and everything in it, and relocate him to Texas. Her church would likely perform an exorcism to get the demonic influences of Pokemon and Harry Potter shiite out of him. She would also trash all of his video games.) The CM friend used to work in a group home and is used to people like my son, and offered to give my son a home with her if I died. Luckily my oncologist did tests and said that one of my lymph nodes got fatty or something like that, and that it wasn't cancer, but I wanted to clearly spell out the quality of people one can find here at CollarMe.
(((Hugs. Thank you, friend. Words cannot describe how much I appreciate you.)))
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