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RE: i want to be a master - 5/14/2012 12:57:50 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spirish

thank you very much for your useful information, as for my response before it may have been my mistake but as for treating me like an idiot, is uncalled for, i am keeping this as civil as possible but i will not take rudeness from anyone. it is a sign of a an uncouth fool.

Nobody was rude, it was actually a helpful answer. Now if you're already having a strop about not getting treated how you think you deserve to be treated and this is online, you're not going to make a lot of friends in real life.

Sydney has quite an active BDSM scene, Google is your friend, you may want to apprentice with somebody because safety issues are very important, also it will give prospective subs more confidence in you, if you know what you are doing and what you shouldn't be doing.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Spirish)

Post #: 21

RE: i want to be a master - 5/14/2012 4:22:33 PM

marriedave

Posts: 9
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

Spirish,

"Master" is a specific term for which you should probably do a search.

Dodge topping if you can. In a lot of ways, you will end up doing all the work. Much of the time, you will end up trying to get into your sub's head, and trying to make it work for them. This can go a long way toward "harshing your dom mellow" (thanks for that phrase).

You actually sometimes DO get to be really selfish about things, but you always need to be the responsible one. A top has to be very, very careful about control, in more ways than one. Letting yourself go is something that doesn't happen often.

If you are looking at this community just to get laid, there are a lot less complicated ways to do that.

I haven't done the "Sub, switch, dom" progression, but it sounds right to me.

D

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 22

RE: i want to be a master - 5/15/2012 4:45:09 AM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Greetings,

You should open your search for also including Melbourne and Brisbane. The people that visit social gatherings and munches travel across the aussie continent to see friends. So someone that might go to a Melbourne event...like Chains...might visit Sydney often and go to events there. The circle of friends then increases and the knowledge that you can gain will be invaluable. Have fun, relax in these munches, just be yourself.

Frank.

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to Spirish)

Post #: 23

RE: i want to be a master - 5/25/2012 11:53:32 AM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline

You gotta walk the walk.

So if you're the dark lord and master of the universe, why not take the 4-5 minutes to google Sydney BDSM, and THEN come back and ask an interesting question about what you found on Google?

This hat in hand blind grasping? Un-hot.

Don't dream it, be it.

Good Luck.

(in reply to FrankAr)

Post #: 24

RE: i want to be a master - 5/25/2012 4:44:25 PM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spirish

hi there, im a young guy, always been very dominant but wish to progress to slave and master relationship, if anyone has any advice on how to go about this id appreciate it, im located in sydney australia as well.

Having a slave is not what makes one a master. To be a master you must be:

Confident
Compassionate
Intelligent
Articulate
and most of all,
Courageous

Work at being those things. If you are successful, submissives will be drawn to you... and you may discover (rather than decide) that you are a master.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 5/25/2012 5:08:15 PM >

(in reply to Spirish)

Post #: 25

RE: i want to be a master - 5/25/2012 5:05:06 PM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

[snip]
... Being a master (in the BDSM sense) has to do with combining personality and great leadership skills with great technical skills, and THEN acquiring someone who wants to be owned by you.

[snip]

I'm going to throw in to the conversation here out of a mild interest in labels, even though I try to avoid them.

It seems to me that technical skills are only of relevance if the sub/slave - whatever - is interested in those kinds of things. And I am assuming that when people say technical skills, they mean proficiency with equipment and its use, etc.

But I think psychological, social and emotional dominance is supremely powerful all on its own. If that is the arena that a slave/sub wants to play in, then I think a person who has mastery in those areas (with that slave/sub) could rightly be called a master, even if he/she had no proficiency or interest in the implements and equipment that are the stereotypical trappings of BDSM.

Indeed... as someone who is in a committed 24/7 D/s relationship, those elements of the psychological, social and emotional are necessarily far more pervasive than the physical trappings of whips and cuffs. It is both interesting and, I guess, understandable that there is far less conversation on these boards about that aspect as there is about the technical side of things. I suppose because the technical side of things is less intimate to talk about publicly... actually. forgive my rambling. This is starting to sound more like a new thread.

Anyway... I did have a point for you ChatteParfaitt,(or anyone else for that matter [ed]) and it was to get your feedback about the above. Would you agree or disagree that a fully realized Master/slave relationship can exist without equipment, and/or technical mastery of it?

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 5/25/2012 5:07:25 PM >

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 26

RE: i want to be a master - 5/25/2012 5:06:23 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spirish

thank you very much for your useful information, as for my response before it may have been my mistake but as for treating me like an idiot, is uncalled for, i am keeping this as civil as possible but i will not take rudeness from anyone. it is a sign of a an uncouth fool.

pppst.... whining like a bitch is a sign of a whiney bitch.

Just sayin.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Spirish)

Post #: 27

RE: i want to be a master - 5/25/2012 11:03:12 PM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

A master is nothing more than a label. You can put all the makup on it you want, dress it up in a pretty dress. At the end of the day, it's just a word. Actions, allways speak louder. Do.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 28

RE: i want to be a master - 5/25/2012 11:46:33 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

A master is nothing more than a label. You can put all the makup on it you want, dress it up in a pretty dress. At the end of the day, it's just a word. Actions, allways speak louder. Do.

I wouldn't encourage him to "do" without actually knowing a few things, just like safety and especially the areas of the body he should not hit, and oh yeah, having some accuracy with an impact tool and especially knowing what that impact tool feels like. Can you imagine somebody just doing who only just picked up a whip and "doesn't need training because he's naturally dominant" - spare kidneys and spines are hard to find...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 29

RE: i want to be a master - 5/26/2012 5:17:05 AM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

Not all masters are sadist my dear.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 30

RE: i want to be a master - 5/26/2012 7:01:41 AM

areallivehuman

Posts: 277
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

Would you agree or disagree that a fully realized Master/slave relationship can exist without equipment, and/or technical mastery of it?

I would agree, depending of course on the definition of " fully realized Master/slave relationship."

(in reply to Bhruic)

Post #: 31

RE: i want to be a master - 5/26/2012 7:32:09 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Would you agree or disagree that a fully realized Master/slave relationship can exist without equipment, and/or technical mastery of it?

Sure. Mastery has everything to do with who he is, not what he can hit someone with. It's an inside thing, has little to do with exterior trappings. I can go months without picking up a flogger or rope or any such shit has zip to do with my level of control over her.
The ties that are laid in her head and her heart are those that bind-the ones made with rope and chain are mere physical manifestations of an internal reality.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to areallivehuman)

Post #: 32

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 3:20:52 AM

WitchDoctor61

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/22/2010
Status: offline

To be a Master you must first know what being a sub/slave is so you understand who they are. I read the Gorean books and knew all the technical's about the lifestyle from Normans writing but I knew very little else. I started reading the books when I was doing a project in my abnormal psyche lecture and ended up writing my thesis paper on it. From there I started really getting into learning and met a Mistress who was BDSM and from there I took off. I spent a year after I finished reading half of the books ( I was in agony and couldn't take anymore of Normans horrible writing ) being in the lifestyle more as an observer learning before I collared a sub. We spent 3 years together and I became a very different person. I found trust, respect, and honor towards my sub I never had with any vanilla gf and I knew her better than any gf. To be a Master you must really now yourself, your sub/slave and earn her trust with actions not words. This was how I got into it so take it for what its worth.

(in reply to Char2688)

Post #: 33

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 3:50:27 AM

meltingpot

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/14/2010
Status: offline

meh.. my first dip in this forum is rather disappointing, I must say.
I picked this thread randomly, ended up on the second page of it and had to go back to the OP to find out what the rudeness issue was about.

I know I risk being trolled for this, but I must say I agree with the OP.. the first reply by Baroana, if it was even meant to be helpful, was condescending at best, and the second one clearly was meant to be downright insulting.
I am very perplexed by the fact that nobody else seems to see it that way or feels the need to point it out and maybe stand up for the young guy who clearly needs guidance, or maybe to be set straight in his priorities by someone who knows more than he does.. but certainly didn't deserve the cold shoulder he got. There's a difference between getting in a strop about something and having to take crap from a bunch of people you don't know just because you thought to ask them for advice and you happen to be the new guy in town.

It does make me wonder if this should be my first post of many on this forum or if instead it should also be my last.
If newbies, inexperienced people and people who you* feel shouldn't be here (but could be told in a much nicer way) get this kind of welcome...maybe this is not the place for me.

*generic you.

(in reply to WitchDoctor61)

Post #: 34

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 4:15:38 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meltingpot

meh.. my first dip in this forum is rather disappointing, I must say.
I picked this thread randomly, ended up on the second page of it and had to go back to the OP to find out what the rudeness issue was about.

I know I risk being trolled for this, but I must say I agree with the OP.. the first reply by Baroana, if it was even meant to be helpful, was condescending at best, and the second one clearly was meant to be downright insulting.
I am very perplexed by the fact that nobody else seems to see it that way or feels the need to point it out and maybe stand up for the young guy who clearly needs guidance, or maybe to be set straight in his priorities by someone who knows more than he does.. but certainly didn't deserve the cold shoulder he got. There's a difference between getting in a strop about something and having to take crap from a bunch of people you don't know just because you thought to ask them for advice and you happen to be the new guy in town.

It does make me wonder if this should be my first post of many on this forum or if instead it should also be my last.
If newbies, inexperienced people and people who you* feel shouldn't be here (but could be told in a much nicer way) get this kind of welcome...maybe this is not the place for me.

*generic you.

Hi. Welcome to collarme.

Thanks for chiming in. Let me explain.

1. Baroana's post may have been a bit dismissive, agreed. But his response was nasty and also showed that he had asked the wrong question in the first place. So we have a 21 year old that wants to be a Master and shows disrespect to an established member - he has no self-control, the first step in being a Master.
2. After myotherself answered his question, he persisted in whining about the fact that his feelings got hurt. Then he called Baroana an uncouth fool. A complete lack of grace, refusal to rise above things, and showing that he is nowhere near mature enough to be considered a Master.
3. He actually got pretty good advice. He was told how to find groups local to him. He was also told that he was not ready to be a Master.

Welcome again.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to meltingpot)

Post #: 35

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 4:45:22 AM

fldrkhorse

Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Confidence, not stupidity.
Control, not carelessness.
Clear and concise, never vague.
Caring, never hurtful.
A Master always has a plan, a means to get to an end. Show your confidence and followers will naturally fall in line.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to Spirish)

Post #: 36

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 4:46:10 AM

meltingpot

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/14/2010
Status: offline

I had said my piece and would not have elaborated further... but you've been kind enough to welcome me, so I'll give it a go anyway.

I would agree with you..if you hadn't mentioned the words "estabilished member"..which reeks a lot of "one of us, and therefore better than you"
*again, generic you
this is not my first forum experience, and more often than not I am the one welcoming the noob. the notion that an old hand or someone with some degree of forum popularity is excused from showing manners and respect even to a newbie who is clearly in the wrong (which is debatable but not the point here), irks me considerably. If anything, as an estabilished member he could have pointed out the flaws in the OP's questions, and done the gentleman thing of welcoming him, much like you did. Instead the newbie who clearly isn't a master (he says so himself) and maybe will never be one, gets annoyed by the.. let's call it "less than gentle" reply.. says so, and gets insulted for good measure..by someone who should know better and be a better example, what with being an estabilished member and all..
that's all fine..people can react badly..but to then have other people support them and saying that nobody was being rude/looking down on the newbie when it's blatantly clear that that's exactly what happened...meh..that reeks of the usual cliques that happen too often on pretty much any forum I know off..where people who are popular get away with treating others, who are not, like dirt.
I had hopes that it wouldn't happen here, of all places..
the net result is that the author of the OP won't ask anything again and will most likely try to figure things out on his own..which does mean that someone else might pay the price for it, should he do something wrong.
this could have been avoided.

so..thank you for the welcome.. I'll hang around to see if the first impression should count for something or if the forum isn't as unfriendly a place as it was in this instance, with this particular individual.

P.S. respect shouldn't be given for free when it's not received in the first place.

< Message edited by meltingpot -- 6/5/2012 4:51:10 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 37

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 2:55:12 PM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

P.S. Respect isn't given. It's Earned.

Random stranger pissed off that other random strangers didn't have a parade when he appeared. Grow the fuck up.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to meltingpot)

Post #: 38

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 3:50:56 PM

Buzzzz

Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

There are cliques everywhere. You go into a bar and there you go. groups of people that share one or more common thing. If you want to meet those people , go easy, introduce yourself, see what they have in common and such. There is no point of being upset or whining. There is always another group of people right down the street that may suit you better .

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 39

RE: i want to be a master - 6/5/2012 3:56:00 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

FR~

I do think people should grow thicker skin. There are a lot of different personalities on these boards that some may find offensive, we don't, as we know these personalities and are around them daily as we post. I think since a new comer has entered the forums, it is up to that person to understand this, and maybe not be so sensitive about things. Just My

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 40

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