The Healthy Submissive (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

twicehappy -> The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 6:06:48 AM)

I read this awhile back and saved it, the writer makes many excellent observations on the submissive. It was written with regards to the female but i feel safe in stating it applies to both sexes.
 
Do any of you subs/slaves see these things about yourself? In what ways does your dominant help you to strive for this type of a happy healthy mental/emotional/physchical state? What things do you do for yourself to reach for or maintain this level of happy healthy submissiveness ?


The Healthy Submissive by Yaldahtouh


1. The healthy submissive is capable of, and thrives on, intense, intimate, emotionally open relationships. This is often evident in the number of nourishing, sustaining, and life affirming friendships she makes over the years.
2. The healthy submissive is a giver. She often needs help to ration herself because her impulses nearly always lead her to want to do good for others.
3. The healthy submissive is capable of intense joy, especially in the context of a sustaining relationship.
4. The healthy submissive finds significant relaxation when properly related. She is at ease in that place.
5. The healthy submissive has finely tuned interpersonal sensitivity. She is reactive to subtle shifts in the emotional tone of others.
6. The healthy submissive has a fluidity of self, a flexibility that enables her to adapt to changing circumstances.
7. The healthy submissive is playful.
8. The healthy submissive has no more than the usual cultural conflicts about her body, and its goodness and beauty.
9. The healthy submissive takes pride in her accomplishments.
10. The healthy submissive accepts herself as she is, knowing that while her culture values independence and self sufficiency, she has strong dependency needs and that there is no inherent "wrongness" about those needs.
11. The healthy submissive seeks nourishing relationships.
12. The healthy submissive, in accepting herself "as is" is tolerant of others. But neither will she allow anyone to tell her what her truth should be.
13. The healthy submissive has a reasonable self concept, aware of her difficulties as well as her strengths.
14. The healthy submissive hungers to be the object of an intense and penetrating understanding. When her nature is understood and she is held in a loving and firm frame, her devotion is almost limitless. The healthy submissive has an enormous capacity for devotion, from which springs her service.



Halcyone -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 6:41:30 AM)

Thank you for posting this, twicehappy! I'd been looking for it, then forgot about it, and now here it is again.This was one of the first things I stumbled across when I first began to explore who and what I am. Each of these resonated for me, even those that I hadn't fully realized. Number 14 in particular always struck me as being particularly true. Once I settled down, "rationed" myself as the list puts it, and started looking for relationships in which the other person was sincerely interested in knowing me, I became a much happier person.

Of these, Sir has helped me with 3, 4, 8, 10, 13 and 14. Some of those come from his just being the man he is, others from conscious effort and planning on his part. For example, he has created a number of challenges that let me see and realize that I have as many (or more) strengths as I have flaws, and in fact a number of my self-perceived flaws were not nearly as terrible as I thought they were.

As for what I do for myself...I'd have to say that the biggest change was my beginning to stand up for my own needs. Putting others first did me no good when there was nothing left at the end of the day to keep myself healthy, in mind and body. Between that and finally embracing, acting on, my nature, I've become a much happier, well-balanced person.

Thank you again for posting this list. [:)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 6:57:50 AM)

For the healthy submissive = the healthy PERSON who happens to be oriented as a submissive in their personal intimate relationship

It's kinda like making an essay titled "The Healthy Homosexual"

And in my relaitonships, we all help eachother to grow and become strong in who we are.  I don't see it as "the domain of the dom" or "the domain of the sub."  I think we form relationships to become stronger and to help eachother as we go through life together.

And, we do pretty much the same thing that every human does to be healthy together.  Be true to yourself, be honest, communicate.



eruditegirl1 -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 7:14:38 AM)

I really enjoyed the list....but I think that it can be attached to other labels of society...
I know that all but # 10 have applied to me even before I came into this lifestyle...wait let me rephrase...through a lot of self growth these past 4 years....more so in the past 2 years....I have been able to achieve all...including #10 now....



Littlepita -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 7:29:02 AM)

That is one of my favorite articles and can be found on the Submissive Loving website for those wanting the full article on the Healthy Submissive.

I have a ways to go still, but I'm getting there. [:)]



lisa1978 -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 8:58:08 AM)

Thank you for posting that. It was very beautiful. Sometimes writings like that can come off as self boasting and overly romantic, but I think that does a really nice job of avoiding that.





babysburnin -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 12:21:17 PM)

If that is the definition of a "healthy submissive"  than I am one. [;)]



slavejali -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 3:03:02 PM)

I think one of the sole functions of lists like this is to help new people come to terms with the fact that being submissive just means you're a regular functional human being who is capable of having a relationship.



moontearz -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 3:54:32 PM)

Twicehappy;
 thank yu for that post.  It has helped me put in perspective who i am in this lifestyle and what it is that i had hoped to acheive with my submissivness.  Moontearz.



ADomDoc -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 4:37:56 PM)

An excellent post ... it describes the exceptional sub/slave (not the typical that I've met).  But it should be good stuff for any sub to pay attention to &/or aspire to.

Thanks



twicehappy -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 4:46:19 PM)

Thank you all for your kind words, i am glad so many enjoyed the post. And i do hope it helps those who are new or unsure understand what submission should help them feel like; happy, secure and content.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc

An excellent post ... it describes the exceptional sub/slave (not the typical that I've met).  But it should be good stuff for any sub to pay attention to &/or aspire to.


I myself have this from my relationship, i know i am one of the lucky ones.

Perhaps this list may also point dominants in the direction they should be leading their owned ones.



spankmepink11 -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 6:28:59 PM)

That was a great post twicehappy...thanks



OhBeMyMind -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 6:31:56 PM)

Thanks for sharing twicehappy!



proudsub -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 7:19:00 PM)

quote:

Do any of you subs/slaves see these things about yourself? In what ways does your dominant help you to strive for this type of a happy healthy


Yes and Yes. I guess i'm healthier than i thought.[:)]



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/6/2006 8:53:41 PM)

Thank you Twice..it definitely gives much food for thought..and some goals that would be desireable to reach for....tempting



Daddysredhead -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/7/2006 8:48:12 PM)

Thank you for this lovely post.  I loved the list and copied it to Master for Him to read.  He tells me often that I have grown so much in the past three years that we have been together.  The majority of the positive changes that have made me more comfortable in my own skin came about with my getting cozy with the D/s elements of our relationship, especially number 10.  I was in a 12 year relationship where I wasn't able to really lean on my anyone other than myself.  Many of the people I knew would say things like "you're strong, self-reliant, independent..." and what I really wanted to say back was "no, I'm exhausted, resentful, and unfulfilled" - but I didn't, for fear that they would think I wasn't able to do everything with no help.  (God forbid, I should appear human to them!  eek!)  But, now I'm comfortable with just being me, whomever that gal is from day to day.  [:)]



twicehappy -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/8/2006 4:32:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

 Many of the people I knew would say things like "you're strong, self-reliant, independent..." and what I really wanted to say back was "no, I'm exhausted, resentful, and unfulfilled" - but I didn't, for fear that they would think I wasn't able to do everything with no help.  (God forbid, I should appear human to them!  eek!)  But, now I'm comfortable with just being me, whomever that gal is from day to day.  [:)]


You are welcome and i am very happy for you. Isn't it amazing how many subs/slaves are the same way? I never know when to slow down or relax and am a horrible perfectionist, every so often my owners need to remind me to let it go, i am human after all(do not spread that one around about me either, lol).



LL1aintbehavin -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/8/2006 5:05:25 AM)

twicehappy.
i have read that list before, but not for quite a while.  thank you for posting it.
sometimes its nice to read, and just realize that in the beginning of my relationship how so many of the items seemed to be so out of reach in any relationship, but as over time i have come so far.
it gives me food for thought and i realize how far i have come with with my Master's help, love and understanding, and what things i still want to work on.
mostly that i accept me for all that i am and will be, and that my Master also accepts and loves me for all that i am and all that i do.
thanks again for the post.
aintbehavin



Daddysredhead -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/8/2006 7:21:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

i am human after all(do not spread that one around about me either, lol).



Dear Twicehappy...
your secret is safe with me!  [:D] 
*zips lips, throws key far, far away...*



soldierfunuk -> RE: The Healthy Submissive (6/9/2006 7:45:28 AM)

Thank you for posting this.  It may sound silly but I now know and understand a bit more about who I am and how I got to here.  I will keep this to remind me.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125