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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 4:51:48 PM   
marieToo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

This might be over the top but if how his hair look is that important to him... why not shave it off?  Then he wouldn't have to worry about having bed head in the morning.

Just a thought

kisha


Oh my god!  Thats downright horrible! What a great idea!

(in reply to akisha)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 4:55:28 PM   
marieToo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ArchangelMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

He did it because he has issues with being vain, and didn't want to leave the house with "bed head" (his words) from showering the night before.  It was not a matter for forgetfulness.  He decided that having his hair looking good was enough of an excuse to do what he wanted.  Which really has ticked me off, not unnaturally :) 


I have a friend that went through the vanity thing.. his girl was always causing them to be late due to her "need" to get her hair and make up just so... So...he took them away from her, she wasn't allowed to wear any make, no curling the hair, no shaving the legs... nothing. This went on for about a month and he took her to the munches, out to dinner and to many places where she was terribly embarrassed over her appearance.. and no, she wasn't allowed to wear pants to cover up her unshaven legs either. (and believe me, this was one hairy girl) Yes... she did learn her lesson. I would suggest that as big of an issue the disobeying was.. an even bigger issue is the vanity. I would suggest that when he is with you that you specifically make him go out with "bed head", perhaps even wrinkled clothes... he has to learn that his pride in his appearance needs to take a back seat to your wishes. It may take doing this for a while before he understands. Granted punishment is best dealt out as soon as possible.. but lessons take time to sink in.
 
When he gets back and you decide it's time to go out... tell him it's go as you are or spend the rest of the evening standing in a corner.
 
Wishing you the best LM...
 
Jewel


Is it really vanity to want to look halfway decent? I have issues with going out when I have bedhead, too. I tend to take a long time in the shower/bathroom because I have OCD, though. It's not a vanity thing. I had more of an issue with bedhead when I worked retail. Since I'm now working in a restaurant where I have to wear a hat, I don't much care if I have bedhead. Getting to work on time is more important.

I know this thread is about punishments, but don't most Dominants want their subs to look good/decent?



This crossed my mind also.  I think its kind of wrong to have your sub/slave have to go out for no good reason, looking unkempt.

However, I think the OP said he had showered the night before, so Im not sure why he would even have to shower for hair purposes.  He couldve just dampened his hair with some water on his hands, at the sink and brushed it, no?

(in reply to ArchangelMichael)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 5:06:55 PM   
FelinePersuasion


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marie too going out with out brushing your hair doesn't make a person look unkempt unless they had really unruly hair, I don't brush my hair before putting it into a pony tail and you would neverk now it wasn't brushed before hand less I told you. course joe can brush his hair and it's so thick and wild you'd never guessed he just brushed it.

(in reply to marieToo)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 5:12:21 PM   
marieToo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

marie too going out with out brushing your hair doesn't make a person look unkempt unless they had really unruly hair, I don't brush my hair before putting it into a pony tail and you would neverk now it wasn't brushed before hand less I told you. course joe can brush his hair and it's so thick and wild you'd never guessed he just brushed it.


yeah but on a man, especially if their hair is short tend to wake up with those swirls and hair going in every direction.  The impression I has was that he showered in order to wet it down good.  Anyway, my point was to say that if he has the kind of hair that cant just be tousled through with fingers, he couldve just dampened it at the sink and brushed it.  And that wouldnt have been breaking Mistress' rule. 

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 5:14:18 PM   
marieToo


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Anyway...I sure am glad I'm on the other end.  I cant even punish my child without guilt.  Id never be able to come up with these juicey punishments you all think of!

(in reply to marieToo)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 7:09:18 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
yeah but on a man, especially if their hair is short tend to wake up with those swirls and hair going in every direction.  The impression I has was that he showered in order to wet it down good.  Anyway, my point was to say that if he has the kind of hair that cant just be tousled through with fingers, he couldve just dampened it at the sink and brushed it.  And that wouldnt have been breaking Mistress' rule. 

The other point being that he had PLENTY of time to bring up any issue he had with that rule beforehand, or any problems he thought he might encounter about it.

It may or may not have changed the dominants mind about the order, but to accept a direct order and THEN simply do what you want when no circumstances have changed from when the order was given?  Serious problem IMO and no amount of tousle or no tousle changes that.

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(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 7:20:01 PM   
marieToo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
yeah but on a man, especially if their hair is short tend to wake up with those swirls and hair going in every direction.  The impression I has was that he showered in order to wet it down good.  Anyway, my point was to say that if he has the kind of hair that cant just be tousled through with fingers, he couldve just dampened it at the sink and brushed it.  And that wouldnt have been breaking Mistress' rule. 

The other point being that he had PLENTY of time to bring up any issue he had with that rule beforehand, or any problems he thought he might encounter about it.

It may or may not have changed the dominants mind about the order, but to accept a direct order and THEN simply do what you want when no circumstances have changed from when the order was given?  Serious problem IMO and no amount of tousle or no tousle changes that.


good point as well.  It seems so incredibly blatant to just dis her like that over something she had just told him the night before.  Especially because no one needs to take a friggin shower in order to make their hair look normal.  I think he may be pushing buttons or testing her. Maybe he was actually *looking* to go on the road with some punishment/control that he had to follow.  Could be his way of keeping his Mistress close to him. Hard to say, but, yeah, that was pretty blatant, almost as if it was done intentionally to effect some type of reaction. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 7:39:17 PM   
feastie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Not all the punishment will be done immediately.  For instance, he is going to be scrubbing my kitchen floor with a toothbrush when he returns home.  In the meantime, however, there should be swift consequences to deliberate disobedience, to keep the infraction fresh in his mind and letting him know that he's not getting away with anything even though he is not here for me to punish right now.  I did like the suggestions above addressing the vanity issue, and he is now spending the next 5 days using no soap, shampoo or toothpaste, and not looking in the mirror, as well as some writing assignments.  He really does have gorgeous hair, and I don't want to shave it, but I was sorely tempted, I swear, just to teach him a lesson.  I did tell him that he was lucky that I liked his hair so much! 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear LadyMorgynn, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
My question is--why does the punishment have to be done immediately?  Nothing requires an immediate punishment.  It isn't like an animal who has a brief attention span. 
 
Punishment can be exacted when he returns home.  Patience can work on your behalf as he can stew over his misdeeds for as long as you wish.
 
Kneeling on rice, bird seed--or in a squat and stay in it for a good while works nicely.  Shaving the head was mentioned but, that might be a boundary. 
 
One thing that is at a disadvantage of dominants, are the slaves/submissives who do not live on premise, on the road and such--I doubt if anybody away from the direct observation honestly applies the same punishment on themselves as you apply to them.
 
He can pay a fine, short time on the phone but, I would keep no time on the phone for drastic issues.  You always want to be able to have more severe measures on the ready.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs




So, if he's getting all these punishments for this trangression, what is he going to get when he commits a really big crime?

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 7:44:00 PM   
LadyMorgynn


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A really big crime??? hon, any slave of mine who commits a really big crime will no longer BE a slave of mine!

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
So, if he's getting all these punishments for this trangression, what is he going to get when he commits a really big crime?


_____________________________

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Lady Morgynn
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 7:46:11 PM   
Calandra


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

He did it because he has issues with being vain, and didn't want to leave the house with "bed head" (his words) from showering the night before.  It was not a matter for forgetfulness.  He decided that having his hair looking good was enough of an excuse to do what he wanted.  Which really has ticked me off, not unnaturally :) 



Buy him a spritz bottle that he can spritz his hair with and comb it before he leaves for work.
 
As for punishment, I'd limit phone time, or maybe make damned sure he does have to go out with bed head a few times just so he realizes that what YOU want is more important.

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 9:25:16 PM   
ownedgirlie


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(fast reply)

I would likely not be allowed to shower for a week, and would have some serious contemplation and writing to do about why (what KoM said) I decided my vanity was more important than his will.  Then again, that's probably a crime I would have committed in our early days and wouldn't fathom it now.  Hygeine is a hang up of mine...perfectly clean, all the time.  And there are times he will have me skip a day of showering, just because he feels like it.  Makes me crazy, but I must comply!

(in reply to Calandra)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 11:12:20 PM   
BitaTruble


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Since vanity was the crime, have you thought about letting vanity also be the punishment? Unless he's already fullen shaven, legs, pits and groin area take a lot of upkeep and shaving those areas may remind him that his vanity is secondary to your directives. Add some polish to the toes  (his shoes cover it so no worries about humilation in front of the other truckers if you don't want there to be) and that's a ritual that's going to take a while to complete and every time he does it, he'll be remembering why. Maybe plucking the eyebrows a bit.. different things that all speak to vanity..

bol

Celeste



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Rock, paper, scissors."

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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/7/2006 11:19:48 PM   
FelinePersuasion


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nobody said he was getting eveyr punishment sugguested here, they;re merely suggestions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
]

So, if he's getting all these punishments for this trangression, what is he going to get when he commits a really big crime?

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/8/2006 4:27:37 AM   
kyraofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
So, if he's getting all these punishments for this trangression, what is he going to get when he commits a really big crime?


In my relationship, willful disobedience of a direct order is a really big crime and can terminate the relationship. 

It doesn't matter what the order or rule is that I chose to violate, what matters is that I decided my wants were more important than the structure of our relationship.  When I consented to become his, I consented to obey him and willfully disobeying is to remove that consent and essentially removes his ownership of me.

But that is just how it works in my relationship...

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to feastie)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/8/2006 4:53:39 AM   
LadyMorgynn


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From: N. Carolina
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Precisely.  On the other hand, he has only been my slave for 2 weeks, and has been running around unowned for several years, so I am not moving to extreme measures, while at the same time making my displeasure STRONGLY felt, and letting him know that this is in NO way acceptable behavior. 

Of course, he's feeling pretty sorry for himself right now <grin>

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
In my relationship, willful disobedience of a direct order is a really big crime and can terminate the relationship. 

It doesn't matter what the order or rule is that I chose to violate, what matters is that I decided my wants were more important than the structure of our relationship.  When I consented to become his, I consented to obey him and willfully disobeying is to remove that consent and essentially removes his ownership of me.

But that is just how it works in my relationship...

Knight's kyra


_____________________________

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Lady Morgynn
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(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/8/2006 5:10:11 AM   
feastie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

nobody said he was getting eveyr punishment sugguested here, they;re merely suggestions.



quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Not all the punishment will be done immediately.  For instance, he is going to be scrubbing my kitchen floor with a toothbrush when he returns home.  In the meantime, however, there should be swift consequences to deliberate disobedience, to keep the infraction fresh in his mind and letting him know that he's not getting away with anything even though he is not here for me to punish right now.  I did like the suggestions above addressing the vanity issue, and he is now spending the next 5 days using no soap, shampoo or toothpaste, and not looking in the mirror, as well as some writing assignments.  He really does have gorgeous hair, and I don't want to shave it, but I was sorely tempted, I swear, just to teach him a lesson.  I did tell him that he was lucky that I liked his hair so much! 


He's getting every punishment here.  I personally feel like it's a LOT of punishment for someone that's been a slave for two whole weeks and this is probably the first transgression.  But then, I am the one that feels that punishment for adults is lacking creativity and maturity, but that's just me.

Rather like grounding a kid to his room, off the tv, off the phone, off the computer, off the video games, giving him lines, making him do extra chores, all for one screw up. 

Sure, he crossed a line, did something directly in conflict with the instruction he was given.  He, by all accounts, is beating himself up pretty good over it already.  I think maybe using his own guilt in a discussion about integrity would probably go much further, but what do I know?  I have never been punished and yet, still managed to correct my errs and behave as expected.

_____________________________

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/8/2006 5:22:17 AM   
LadyMorgynn


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It's not his first transgression.  He has issues with vanity and conceit, has an extremely high opinion of himself, thinks he is better than every other submissive out there because he is so very submissive/obedient (in his view), and in general always feels that he knows better than everyone else... including me!  And I'm sorry you don't like that I have assigned punishment to my slave, but the fact is, that if his vanity is more important to him than obeying a direct order, there is a problem that mere discussion is not going to solve.  Because we *had* the discussion the night before, when he argued with me when I laid down the rule.  Then agreed to comply.  Then got up before me and snuck into the shower.  And you don't feel that warrants punishment?!

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Lady Morgynn
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/8/2006 5:26:52 AM   
LadyMorgynn


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From: N. Carolina
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As far as the punishments... I don't really think 5 days of showering without soap, shampoo or toothpaste is essentially going to hurt him, nor being forced to finger-comb his hair.   This is less for the purpose of punishment as to to make him aware of his vanity and help him to begin to overcome it.

Scrubbing the kitchen floor (with toothbrush) is indeed punishment, for willful disobedience.  He'll survive.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to feastie)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/8/2006 5:47:21 AM   
LovingSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Since vanity was the crime, have you thought about letting vanity also be the punishment? Unless he's already fullen shaven, legs, pits and groin area take a lot of upkeep and shaving those areas may remind him that his vanity is secondary to your directives. Add some polish to the toes  (his shoes cover it so no worries about humilation in front of the other truckers if you don't want there to be) and that's a ritual that's going to take a while to complete and every time he does it, he'll be remembering why. Maybe plucking the eyebrows a bit.. different things that all speak to vanity..

bol

Celeste






You wicked bitches - you shouldn't be allowed to talk on this forum at all.
It must be terrible for a man to be forced to wear nailpolish on his toes - shivers.

Cheers
Loving Sadist



_____________________________

Love, protect and discipline your woman

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Non-corporal punishment - 6/8/2006 5:48:43 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Since vanity was the crime, have you thought about letting vanity also be the punishment? Unless he's already fullen shaven, legs, pits and groin area take a lot of upkeep and shaving those areas may remind him that his vanity is secondary to your directives. Add some polish to the toes  (his shoes cover it so no worries about humilation in front of the other truckers if you don't want there to be) and that's a ritual that's going to take a while to complete and every time he does it, he'll be remembering why. Maybe plucking the eyebrows a bit.. different things that all speak to vanity..

bol

Celeste






You wicked bitches - you shouldn't be allowed to talk on this forum at all.
It must be terrible for a man to be forced to wear nailpolish on his toes - shivers.

Cheers
Loving Sadist




But then Celeste is also a sadist, so she can come up with some reallllllly good ones. (chuckling)

(in reply to LovingSadist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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