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Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/18/2012 4:34:20 PM

BitaTruble

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You can scroll down to the bold squiggly line for the actual questions. I've broken them into bold sub groups for ease, but feel free to answer/ignore any/all of them. This bit is just my usual pre-question musing about what inspired me to start the thread.

I have this game, old school yanno. It doesn't have a lot, just a bell or two, not even a whistle but it's fun and makes me laugh when I do something dopey while playing and brings me satisfaction when I have a particular itch for a particular entertainment. It's got some wear and tear, glitches on occasion, but over all, the price I paid to purchase it has been small, the reward large. Once in a great while, I will take it out for an evening and go back in time and see if I still have the mad skillz for such things.

Turns out, I don't.

Ah well.

Vintage has its time and place but I'm all over the new century as well (must be a bi thing) so have some kick-ass high tech shit, too. Tons of bells and whistles-on-steriods sort of stuff and while it appears to be able to do anything and everything but raise my grandma from the grave it can't do what my old school stuff does even when I down-load the software and play the exact same game.. it's not the same. It's not the time machine.

There are some few things that I just don't want to have go above and beyond because I like them just the way they are.. and, I have discovered there are some parts of me that are like my old school game. Not many but a few that for good or bad, really do need to stay just as they are because they serve a purpose that nothing else can.. even if it looks like an upgrade.

~~~~~~~~~

Anyway...

(A) If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

(B) If you don't move, you stagnant.

SM-type question: When you find The Perfectly Happy Pain Place is that a stop and relax sign or is it a call to redouble efforts and push even further? If The Happy is consistant session after session, do you feel more drawn to option A or option B? How do you think the option which is more appealing effects your sessions in the short and the long term?

Do you have or would you consider setting goals as an attainable and viable option in helping push through to get to The Happy whether for endurance or some other aspect of engaging in SM activities or is each encounter self-contained without regard to the ever mutable future? If you set goals, do you feel that an upper limit can be defined or pre-set prior to the steps actually needed to get there?

An example: The goal is to get to 50 Thwacks with the cane. (Don't ask me why someone climbs Mt. Rushmore.. because it's there is a viable answer for that and for this!)

It takes 6 months before all 50 Thwacks can be doled out in a single session. (sloooooooooow learners - lol)

Goal achieved and the 50 Thwacks seems like the perfect number of Thwacks to find The Perfectly Happy Pain Place for both of you.

Do you set a new goal (say 60) to see where it takes you (or breaks you) or is 50 the 'right' number for you and there is where it will stay? In other words, you said 50.. would ya go to 51? Obviously, such things are going to have a lot of variables but aside from those.. at this point, having met the goal is it A or B which holds more appeal?

Maso specific: Is being able to 'take' it an incentive in either control of your pain or enjoyment of it? Would you push yourself to meet a goal even it was motivated by a feeling that you needed to 'take' it as opposed to trying to attain that goal for some other reason?

D-type question: How do you take control of someone's desire for growth in the SM arena when they are exactly where you want them to be in a particular area. Quash it? Ignore it? Dole it out in small doses, perhaps as a reward? Something else? How do you weigh risk/reward when the variables are unknown and reward, quite possibly can be illusion?

S-type question: You're not done yet. You want to keep crawling but your leader wants you off your knees. How do you react to a strong desire that has no outlet and won't be allowed one? Quash it? Ignore it? Beg for it in small doses, perhaps as a reward? Find another outlet? Something else?

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/18/2012 4:44:01 PM

RemoteUser

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I prefer to explore anything my girl is interested in, the better for both of us to learn how it suits us individually and as a "couple". That's true in and out of the community related stuff.

Measuring its growth and application has to be strictly on a per-basis. I wouldn't approach a painslut slowly with the thwackings but it would be measured and monitored. If we branched out for the first time into asphyxia, though, then yes, much slower, monitored more heavily, etcetera...

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/18/2012 5:56:38 PM

littlecherie

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I am a 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' type of mind, but I pretend to be the 'let's try it out! Keep going!'. Depending on what Master wants, that will be the actual answer.

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/18/2012 6:27:46 PM

DesFIP

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Not into pain. But in general, I'm an A. I don't get bored doing the same thing. I enjoy being sure of what's coming, and can relax into it like an old sweater. So what if it's washed out and baggy, it's still more comfortable than a new one.

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/18/2012 6:55:39 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I do get bored easily, and I bottomed for physical challenge, though I am not a maso and dont do endorphins. So I always want to push the envelope IF it's reasonable.

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/18/2012 7:56:31 PM

littlewonder

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He would set a new goal. I wouldn't lol. I'm not a maso but oh how he likes to double, triple, quadruple lol.
I don't think I have a happy place from pain. Bondage and service yes, pain no.
Being able to take the pain is just a way to make him happy. I don't strive for bigger, better. I'm happy in one place in pretty much most of my life. I love balance.
You mean my strong desire for caffeine that he witholds from me???

I beg, plead, pretty much anything for that. lol
Anything else, I just pretty much shrug my shoulders and get on with life. Most things simply are not that big a deal to me. My desires are few and infrequent.

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/18/2012 10:44:17 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

SM-type question: When you find The Perfectly Happy Pain Place is that a stop and relax sign or is it a call to redouble efforts and push even further? If The Happy is consistant session after session, do you feel more drawn to option A or option B? How do you think the option which is more appealing effects your sessions in the short and the long term?

I'm a pusher. I typically like to see how far I can go, not just with S&M stuff but pretty much anything. Of course, this has gotten me into trouble sometimes, but that's a different matter entirely - heh. He doesn't push me too hard, however, for his own reasons, and that's cool. But I do like a challenge. Mostly.

quote:

Do you have or would you consider setting goals as an attainable and viable option in helping push through to get to The Happy whether for endurance or some other aspect of engaging in SM activities or is each encounter self-contained without regard to the ever mutable future? If you set goals, do you feel that an upper limit can be defined or pre-set prior to the steps actually needed to get there?

No, I (we) don't actually set goals for this sort of thing. We're more casual about it, and we do what he wants to do. It's more spontaneous that way. I think if we set goals for this, it would seem more like work and take the fun out of it...? Just a guess there. Truth is, he's not as sadistic as what I've experienced in the past, and that's A-Okay with me. I've gone soft over the years, and turned into a bit of a wimp. So while he *has* pumped up the volume over time, it's been a very slow turn of the nob. And that's worked out really well here.

quote:

Maso specific: Is being able to 'take' it an incentive in either control of your pain or enjoyment of it? Would you push yourself to meet a goal even it was motivated by a feeling that you needed to 'take' it as opposed to trying to attain that goal for some other reason?

Hmm, control or enjoyment. I'd say both? Not really sure what you mean by your incentive question, though. I have a love/hate relationship with pain. I hate it and fear it, yet as soon as it stops I want more of it. And I think *because* I hate/fear it, I'm driven to challenge myself to take more of it. I like exploring what that's all about.

quote:

S-type question: You're not done yet. You want to keep crawling but your leader wants you off your knees. How do you react to a strong desire that has no outlet and won't be allowed one? Quash it? Ignore it? Beg for it in small doses, perhaps as a reward? Find another outlet? Something else?

For the most part, we stop when he's ready to stop and when he wants to stop. Even if I want more. And I'm cool with that. I get fulfilled in so many areas of life that this (taking pain) is just a small piece of it. What floats my boat and really fuels me is his lust, so if he's getting off on whatever we're doing, I'm a happy camper.

What's come out of me with him, though, to my very real surprise, is a feistiness, which begs for more. He has the nerve of calling me a "SAMMY" during these times. Hummph! But alas, it's true. I laugh a lot, and say things like, "I feel a bit of a tickle back there, are you doing something?" or "Oh I bet you're really proud of yourself for THAT one!" and he laughs and gives it to me harder. I become a real smart-ass while he's whacking me, and it drives him to whack me more, and harder, and we're usually laughing a LOT at this point. He'll say, "Oh HERE'S that little sammy" and I'll frown and laugh and then say something else that'll get me hit harder, and then I'll cry and laugh and say I can't seem to shut myself up, dammit and it goes from there. So these "sessions" turn into something totally fun and funny and I get bruised and he gets off and we have awesome sex as a result.

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/19/2012 12:40:12 AM

SoulAlloy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
SM-type question: When you find The Perfectly Happy Pain Place is that a stop and relax sign or is it a call to redouble efforts and push even further? If The Happy is consistant session after session, do you feel more drawn to option A or option B? How do you think the option which is more appealing effects your sessions in the short and the long term?

Do you have or would you consider setting goals as an attainable and viable option in helping push through to get to The Happy whether for endurance or some other aspect of engaging in SM activities or is each encounter self-contained without regard to the ever mutable future? If you set goals, do you feel that an upper limit can be defined or pre-set prior to the steps actually needed to get there?

Hmmm... When I get there I'm usually out of it and drifting, not really thinking about what happens next, the pain has little effect (seemingly), even my arousal wanes as my mind blisses out - I guess I'd like a combination of A and B, exploring new tasks/sensations whilst maintaining that feeling, though at the same time that feels selfish lol

As for goal setting, it doesn't interest me in quantity - styles, types and new experiences though are always welcome. If my partner wishes to set quantities then I aim to please as always ;)

quote:

Maso specific: Is being able to 'take' it an incentive in either control of your pain or enjoyment of it? Would you push yourself to meet a goal even it was motivated by a feeling that you needed to 'take' it as opposed to trying to attain that goal for some other reason?

Takeing the pain as doled out? From a masochistic point it doesn't personally affect my enjoyment of it - from a submissive point of view it pushes those buttons nicely, I will take it because it's what they want. I would push to meet a goal if it had been set.

quote:

S-type question: You're not done yet. You want to keep crawling but your leader wants you off your knees. How do you react to a strong desire that has no outlet and won't be allowed one? Quash it? Ignore it? Beg for it in small doses, perhaps as a reward? Find another outlet? Something else?

This to me falls under aftercare - I ask either to sit at their feet lying against them or holding them, if that's not allowed then I'd try a few simple services like making drinks or fetching a snack. If none of that was allowed I'd probably bring it up later when I'd returned to normal and explain the need to come back to Earth more slowly after a more intense session.

As for a desire with no outlet, it depends on the strength of it. If it's a form of pain or material thing then I'd likely quash it and read up on similar items. If it's a life goal (such as family) then I would have to consider if I was with the right partner

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/19/2012 1:17:39 AM

kitkat105

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While I do enjoy "The Perfectly Happy Pain Place", I also enjoy being pushed further beyond that, out of my comfort zone. I do enjoy a challenge when it comes to pain, although we've only occasionally put a specific numerical value on it. The most important part of any play session for me is that we both enjoyed it. We communicate before, during & after playing.

As for wanting more? I'm not afraid to tell Him what I'd like to experience and I am more than happy to beg.

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/19/2012 5:15:32 AM

KnightofMists

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I just like to have fun... Sometimes that is ten thwacked with the cane and sometimes it's hundreds. I don go to bed and make a goal of how many thrusts in to that hot wet cunt... Hell I don't even count... We just have fun. It's an emotional experience that is physically done. I allow the emotions to guild the actions. Our natures tend to cause us to push...and besides we are greedy for more fun

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/19/2012 7:33:43 AM

LadyPact

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Before anything else, I'd like to take a moment to thank you, Bita. Never let it be said that you don't bring up good topics.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Anyway...

(A) If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

(B) If you don't move, you stagnant.

SM-type question: When you find The Perfectly Happy Pain Place is that a stop and relax sign or is it a call to redouble efforts and push even further? If The Happy is consistant session after session, do you feel more drawn to option A or option B? How do you think the option which is more appealing effects your sessions in the short and the long term?

I can't put a definitive answer on this. There are just too many variables for Me. It's going to depend on who I'm playing with, is it top/bottom or D/s, how long I've been playing with them, what kind of play is it, and My mood at the spur of the moment. What is more positive is knowing what's right for whom regarding what.

quote:

Do you have or would you consider setting goals as an attainable and viable option in helping push through to get to The Happy whether for endurance or some other aspect of engaging in SM activities or is each encounter self-contained without regard to the ever mutable future? If you set goals, do you feel that an upper limit can be defined or pre-set prior to the steps actually needed to get there?

Prior? I'm going to say no. Not everyone has a good grasp on what it takes for them to hit the goals that they would like to make for themselves.

quote:

D-type question: How do you take control of someone's desire for growth in the SM arena when they are exactly where you want them to be in a particular area. Quash it? Ignore it? Dole it out in small doses, perhaps as a reward? Something else? How do you weigh risk/reward when the variables are unknown and reward, quite possibly can be illusion?

Unless we're literally getting into unsafe/unhealthy territory, I can't imagine wanting to quash someone's growth. It's just not My personal style. As for risk/reward, I do know that I've told people that, in My opinion, they may not be ready right now. Heck, there have been times that I've said that I'm not ready right now. It has to fit for both.

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/19/2012 1:46:10 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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BitaTruble,
When faced with this situation, I will stop and think things through. Keeping an open mind about going there or not. Perhaps it's myself that needs to work past a comfort zone or NOT. (Depending upon the specific activity and what is going on). Important to be tuned into yourself as well as the other person. D-time (decision time).

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RE: Above and Beyond; The Thwack Factor and other stuff - 5/23/2012 9:25:07 AM

graceadieu

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

S-type question: You're not done yet. You want to keep crawling but your leader wants you off your knees. How do you react to a strong desire that has no outlet and won't be allowed one? Quash it? Ignore it? Beg for it in small doses, perhaps as a reward? Find another outlet? Something else?

If he wants to do more, I'll submit to that, and if wants to do less, I'll submit to that too. If I want more than he wants to give me, that's something in my mind that I have to deal with. There's no point in making a fuss over it and being annoying.

If there's something I'd like to try, I'll mention it, and if he's interested enough he'll do it. If he's not, well, that's his choice. Again, there's no point in making a fuss or being pushy.

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