CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: collarmeplz3338
hmmmm i met my last Master of one year here. i really fell hard and we have had a long distance relastionship. But then i started to get "strange vibes" and found out He was buying women's used atricles on ebay. It didnt set with me well..He says He was always faithful but isnt this a breach of trust?
This is just me and not anything like advice, so please don't take it that way. If you feel the same way though, then...it could help define how you feel in words so that you can have a better talk with him.
First, and I know this is unfair of me, but I see long term online relationships as mostly...mutual masturbation at best, heartbreak and a waste of time, and yes, on rare occasions I see where a couple are like the Brownings and can respect that. If you two meet in person sometimes and have to be long distance the rest of the time, so that your relationship has at least some roots in r/t...it might change my opinion somewhat.
Second, a lot of online only relationships are done between people who are cheating on spouses or significant others. Compared with this, used panty sniffers pale by comparison. I would be more concerned about...why one or both people have some serious issues they need to work on.
Third. This is just my own feelings about how I would feel if my partner had been doing this, and I don't expect anyone to feel the same way, so keep this in mind. As far as stuff for masturbation goes, my partner knows where my vibes are. He loves the feel of panties against his cock, so we often go together and look at what stores have to offer (he wears a size five, dammit! LOL) and I see what he is getting. Some guys are panty sniffers...but others are paranoid about being caught buying them in stores and will choose to buy them online. Ebay sounds like a panty sniffer thing...is he buying new ones or...used? New ones...pfft, I'd laugh and want to see them.
Used ones with another woman's juices on them...all...HELL...would...break...loose. I am not poly, and am rigid in my definition of being faithful while in a relationship. When we are with someone, I know we do not suddenly become blind to the hawtness of others. Random thoughts of ass grabbing or whatever slip in and I am okay with that. Deliberately fantasising about screwing another person is different; I see this as adultery. If he is panty sniffing, wanking off and dreaming of burying himself into another woman's c*** ...other's might laugh and roll their eyes and think nothing of it, but I'd be giving him his walking papers, telling him to go chase those women down and f*ck them. I am not standing still for another woman's pussy juice being all over my man's cock either. Who knows, maybe also her yeast infection or crabs or whatever other ick that can survive for days on dried body fluids.
I would also wonder what else he would feel entitled to buying.
If he's the panty wearer, why not make you hunt through stores for him for ones he'd find suitable and have you mail those to him? He owns you, right? Or if he is a panty sniffer, why not send you panties he wants you to wear (on cam or while you two are on the phone or whatever) and then have you mail those back to him? Either of these I would understand and accept if I were in this position.
Other women? I am way too territorial to put up with that. My boy also feels the same way about betrayals, as past wives cheated on him. We are a good match as far as these expectations go. Talk with your M so you can understand everything, including what needs of his are being met and if you need to negotiate on this. Who knows, if it hurts you and he wants to punish you for something you've done...he might even have bought panties waiting in some box to use and tell you so. (That was not a suggestion.) My point is...talk. Ask. Understand what's going on and see if you can live with it. If you feel you can't, give him a chance to know this and to try to help you through it. If it is a hard limit of yours then you already have your answer.
Even with my own moal parameters being as strange as they are, my boy and I had a disagreement about two months' back. I separate D/s from bondage and flogging and sexual feelings...and can go into teacher mode and give someone their first flogging if they ask nicely. I don't get a buzz nor any sexual arousal when the man isn't mine. I had a hard time understanding why my boy was very upset even thinking about it...it came up at a MAsT meeting, when we were agreeing to rules we would all follow for dinners, that all Masters would be served even if they didn't own a slave yet, and that all slaves would agree to provide waiter type service during the meal. No biggie. But when it was added that slaves, even unowned ones, would be fed by a Master, my boy agreed in front of everyone...then went home, woke up and went berzerk, lol.
He would see it as betrayal to share something that intimate with another person. We talked for days and finally I unburied why he felt that way...a memory he had forgotten. The first inkling he had that his first wife was cheating on him with his sister's husband was...seeing his wife hand feed their brother-in-law. It helped to talk about it, and I decided not to tread on that ghost but respect the powerful feelings my boy had over this. As for the flogging, I flogged his sister (she was fully clothed) while he watched because her back was all tight and needed loosening up. He saw it was non-sexual, without power exchange involved (she was telling me how high, how low, which flogger she preferred, and how lightly to hit, lol), but still...if this were a man he would have lost it and wanted to rip the man's face off...or else feel so betrayed and like I had committed adultery against him. There are so many emotional scars in my boy that I have hung up my flogger when it comes to other men because I feel it's the right thing to do for US. It would be too much work, soothing him and all that aftercare and ripping open of old scars, to flog someone else even in public only and just for fun.
If this hurts you in some way, tell him. If my boy had stayed silent I might have permanently injured our relationship. How can I steer a ship if I don't know everything about it...
It's okay to be sad, angry, unreasonable, and feel betrayed over what another sees as trivial. It's not okay to hide it all under a smile and stuff it into a closet until the door explodes. Be honest with yourself and be honest with your Owner. Unless he prefers that your dynamic is...different...and you agreed to this, choosing to submit to him anyway, under his terms. **Remembering an episode of Reba, where her ex-husband's new wife is preggies and sick as a dog and is pretending to be fine. He knew and praised her for her pretence...she was doing it for the sake of keeping him happy...and expected her to continue.**
Good luck with your relationship.
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a few good and bad things - 
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is the short answer. The ripped, white cotton aspect is what I will share with you. Yeah. So if you can find maybe a ten year old boy to wear white cotton chickie undies that you have treated poorly in a launderette...
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