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RE: just wondering - 5/27/2012 4:47:36 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
women are a lot less shallow than men and they select their partnerrs far more on personality.
Really??? here i always thought it was cuz the guy was loaded (with money)..

Yes - they look for well known personalities with money!

There is some truth in that, though. A lot of women are looking for protectors/providers. They don't go after rich guys because they are greedy ho's (except maybe the ones still pole plunging for Hefner, who have really pushed the envelope on skank) but they just find wealth and power a genuinely attractive quality. It outweighs poor looks.

That gold-digger-10-with-rich-dude-5 thing is the norm in SoCal... thats one reason why i am not that keen on staying there.. the guys there think they can buy whatever girl they want and many tend to not want a live-in girlfriend, they rather play the field, imo.. and they are always looking to upgrade..

Personally for me, it doesnt matter how much money a guy has (I can make my own $$$ thanks), if I am not attracted to the guy I cant be with him..

< Message edited by tj444 -- 5/27/2012 4:49:35 AM >

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RE: just wondering - 5/27/2012 5:17:22 AM

Kaliko

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You know, I understand the whole "men as providers" attraction theory. I still have trouble believing that every woman's subconscious definition of a man's being able to provide is the same. Provide what? A roof over the head of me and my family? Okay, that might be money. Or it might be a quality that we're attracted to, knowing he would maybe find a way to build the house if we couldn't buy it. Maybe what we are looking for a man to provide is simply the stability that would allow us to say "Yes, I'm married" is a social arena that favors that structure - looking for a man to provide us with what we've come to believe is important. That could be a way of "providing."

I don't know...I'm typing as I'm drinking my coffee and not really thinking it through, but...saying women like men with money because that is evidence they will be a good provider seems too simple. That's like saying men are attracted to women because they're young and of child-bearing age.

Fuck. Never mind. I just proved the point.

:)

< Message edited by Kaliko -- 5/27/2012 5:18:07 AM >

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RE: just wondering - 5/27/2012 5:53:21 AM

kalthus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

You know, I understand the whole "men as providers" attraction theory. I still have trouble believing that every woman's subconscious definition of a man's being able to provide is the same.
I don't know...I'm typing as I'm drinking my coffee and not really thinking it through, but...saying women like men with money because that is evidence they will be a good provider seems too simple. That's like saying men are attracted to women because they're young and of child-bearing age.

:)

Oh no, you are absolutely correct. I'm not saying for a SECOND that all women are looking for a guy with money, and it's not true that all men want a woman they can impregnate. Thats a very basic level of human attraction, but lets face it, we've developed into an ape variant which is a lot more complex.

For example, a lot of men need a woman who can provide, who are a mother figure etc. They have no interest in young blondes with wide hips. And a lot of women are with guys who can't fend for themselves, let alone look after another person.

I mean - Homer and Marge.....

But in practrical terms, as concerns the worries of out original OP, I'll stick my neck out and suggest that the following is true more often than not:

Women tend to be less picky about basic appearance, and more concerned about grooming. Confidence, intelligence and a sense of humour are attractive features. Being a good listener is more important than being a good talker.

Yes, men do look for the same, but I think that it takes a LOT to outweigh the basic physical attraction for most of us.

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RE: just wondering - 5/27/2012 5:56:49 AM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus

Yes, men do look for the same, but I think that it takes a LOT to outweigh the basic physical attraction for most of us.

...life is so unfair.

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RE: just wondering - 5/27/2012 6:01:55 AM

kalthus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

...life is so unfair.

1) Beautiful people probably say that about folks with brains. Megan Fox will never win an Oscar. Or a quiz, from what I hear...

2) Men also responde to other come-on signals like the lab-rat brained hormone bags we are. Even a butt ugly woman who sends out the right body language will overcome a mans defenses.

3) I'm quite sure you are absolutely gorgeous, AND intelligent, so quit whining!