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RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 5:23:03 AM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
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You can tell that women at munches not single because their dom-guy makes it very clear. Also, they tend to sit with their date. Don't you?

And 'last time I checked", you could (and should) share your general thoughts on a topic in a good faith and are certainly not bound to simply answer questions in a black and white binary fashion. Partic. here, where off topic is a frequent posting destination.

I'm not dissing anyone. I am telling what my experience was and what I have heard from others. It's not an insult to munches. It's just my personal opinion.

Here's another one:

The idea that a single guy at a munch is gonna get hooked by a couple there with a single friend they know who's inexplicably elsewhere is -to be polite- a getting-hit-by-a-comet long shot.

When I was at MasT 2 years ago, there were in fact 2 unattached women looking for partners. They were in their late 50's -early 60's. They went home alone. Finding partners is not easy for anyone.

But certainly, a prerequisite for finding a partner is a live, breathing candidate in front of you.

And if you're a Dom guy (partic. past 45), my reasonable random sample of munch-dom leads me to believe that a munch simply will not provide that live, breathing person -either at the munch itself or up the road after you audition for couples who MIGHT know of someone that they MIGHT introduce you to.

Go to a munch as a social thing, go and ignore my point of view, go optimistically due the threadbare examples of encouragement given here. What's it to me?

As you'll recall, I urged the guy to go to the munch.

< Message edited by Salinedion -- 5/27/2012 5:34:57 AM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 5:30:19 AM

Salinedion

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Joined: 5/25/2012
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And, Endivus, I agree 100%. Kink is everywhere if you have a little game.

But certainly, the vast, vast majority of guys attending a munch for the first time are hoping to meet a partner.

Why wouldn't they?

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Post #: 22

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 5:46:49 AM

Endivius

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Because it isnt called the singles hook up meeting of the month. it's called a MUNCH for a reason. You don't attend the church barbeque or the company softball game hoping to hook up either.

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Post #: 23

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 5:50:34 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

And 'last time I checked", you could (and should) share your general thoughts on a topic in a good faith and are certainly not bound to simply answer questions in a black and white binary fashion. Partic. here, where off topic is a frequent posting destination.

I'm not dissing anyone. I am telling what my experience was and what I have heard from others. It's not an insult to munches. It's just my personal opinion.

The problem that I have with your opinion is that you're extrapolating from your experience that guy meets girl at a munch is never going to happen and belittling the examples of when it does happen as unicorn experiences.

IIRC, at the last munch I went to in Taunton, when we were asking people how they'd met, quite a few of them replied "At a munch."

(in reply to Salinedion)

Post #: 24

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 6:23:01 AM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
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You know, where I live, a lot of nice people do go to the church BBQ hoping someone sweet is ladling out the cole slaw. This is simple human nature. They shouldn't over-invest in the cole slaw ladling route to love, obviously.

How is clarifying -as you have, as I have- that munch's are unlikely meeting spots ON AVERAGE a bad thing for a new person asking a question about them?

I am not belittling anyone. I am asserting that very few BDSM relationships start or come out of munches.

My experience (mine alone, again) is that it is indeed rare at the unicorn spotting level. Unicorn spotting, hit by a comet odds are examples of colorful speech and certainly not an insult or diminution of what anyone else here has said.

If munch-dom has changed since my last look in or if I'm flat out wrong about munches, then I'd be a very happy guy.

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Post #: 25

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 9:02:02 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kindhrtitalian

How do I find one in my area

Don't. Don't go.
The munches I've gone to have been filled with socially dysfunctional people.
They were all very nice. In fact, they were all extremely nice. But they were socially inept.
Not once. Not twice. But everytime.
We walked away every single time with the impression that the only social interaction these people had with people other than family members were at munches.
Maybe it's a Jersey thing. Lots of things are Jersey things so I get that.

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Post #: 26

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 9:17:04 AM

DarkSteven

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Aileen, that's odd. The munch in Longmont is a blast, and I've heard good things about the Denver munch.

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Post #: 27

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 2:31:42 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Salinedion

You know, where I live, a lot of nice people do go to the church BBQ hoping someone sweet is ladling out the cole slaw. This is simple human nature. They shouldn't over-invest in the cole slaw ladling route to love, obviously.

How is clarifying -as you have, as I have- that munch's are unlikely meeting spots ON AVERAGE a bad thing for a new person asking a question about them?

I am not belittling anyone. I am asserting that very few BDSM relationships start or come out of munches.

My experience (mine alone, again) is that it is indeed rare at the unicorn spotting level. Unicorn spotting, hit by a comet odds are examples of colorful speech and certainly not an insult or diminution of what anyone else here has said.

If munch-dom has changed since my last look in or if I'm flat out wrong about munches, then I'd be a very happy guy.

Well, you are partially right. MAsT (Masters And slaves Together) meetings really aren't the same things as munches. You're looking at an organization that is more in regard to people living the M/s lifestyle. While MAsT chapters are open to anyone interested in power authority dynamics, it is more often populated in attendance by those who are already involved in doing so. Some MAsT chapters hold various social opportunities, even munches, potlucks, etc, but they aren't the garden variety munches that you are going to find run by other groups.

Having lived in that region of the country for five years, I'd be really shocked if the demographic of the average munch stopped right at the GA/FL state line. During that time, I managed to attend events multiple years that drew people to Atlanta from FL, (SELF and DomCon) and I've seen single women attend those events from your state.

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Post #: 28

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 4:07:24 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

Because it isnt called the singles hook up meeting of the month. it's called a MUNCH for a reason. You don't attend the church barbeque or the company softball game hoping to hook up either.

Being single, again -L-...dude, I will be looking at church, walmart...for a skirt...why not? I may even drive to a few cities to a few munches, I never had a problem hooking up at one after a few meetings.

I am kinda like Aileen, most I met I would not invite to my home...its kinda find what you want and go on your merry way

Not rocket science...boy meets girl in many different situations...

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 29

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 5:26:42 PM

Salinedion

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Joined: 5/25/2012
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Lady Pact:

I get and comprehend that MasT is not a munch (partic. the big DC do, which I really recommend).

But thanks.

Since that was the only place in 2 hemispheres where I saw single women actually looking, I thought it was worth mentioning in a man bites dog kinda way.

As to the social skill set at the munch's that I attended, Jersey Girl got it right. No need to break out the many humorous examples, partic. here in huffy-land.

Kink-land is down to the luck of the draw. If you're a semi-famous internet person who poses in front of a St. Andrews cross, the munch experience just may be a little bit different from that of Joe Blow middle aged-average.

Life's a bitch, then we die, hopefully we get to do someone kinky and hard before the grave -but if your maker gives you one day to to squeeze it in, I say don't blow your wad at a munch.

On the other hand, at least the munch would FEEL like forever.

< Message edited by Salinedion -- 5/27/2012 5:27:55 PM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 5:43:08 PM

EnglishPetal

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/22/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

it's called a MUNCH for a reason.

This is probably a really stupid question... but why is it called a munch?

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 31

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 5:45:42 PM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
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......because it's usually held in a lowish cost restaurant where you -you know- munch.

A mega-separate checks nightmare at the end, btw.

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Post #: 32

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 6:21:01 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Salinedion

Lady Pact:

I get and comprehend that MasT is not a munch (partic. the big DC do, which I really recommend).

But thanks.

Since that was the only place in 2 hemispheres where I saw single women actually looking, I thought it was worth mentioning in a man bites dog kinda way.

As to the social skill set at the munch's that I attended, Jersey Girl got it right. No need to break out the many humorous examples, partic. here in huffy-land.

Kink-land is down to the luck of the draw. If you're a semi-famous internet person who poses in front of a St. Andrews cross, the munch experience just may be a little bit different from that of Joe Blow middle aged-average.

Life's a bitch, then we die, hopefully we get to do someone kinky and hard before the grave -but if your maker gives you one day to to squeeze it in, I say don't blow your wad at a munch.

On the other hand, at least the munch would FEEL like forever.

Dude, you kind of made Me laugh there, so I'm going to thank you for that one. The semi-famous internet thing got a chuckle.

Like I said earlier in the thread, I've attended munches in various states. Your experience doesn't match Mine in regard to single people. My munch experience probably isn't the same as yours, either, but don't lay that whole thing just on the fact that I'm a chick. I also happen to be pretty good at what I do. Those single people that you don't say exist are the ones I was just pouring wax on a couple of weeks ago when I was part of a tasting event.

So, we'll just have to agree to disagree. I've been attending groups for over a decade and we don't share the same view.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Salinedion)

Post #: 33

RE: Attending a munch - 5/27/2012 6:49:53 PM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EnglishPetal

quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

it's called a MUNCH for a reason.

This is probably a really stupid question... but why is it called a munch?

Meeting + Lunch = Munch. It's a way for people who are into the lifestyle to meet others and discuss various topics. 99% of our munches involve non-kink related topics. We get together, bs about our goings on and such. Usually there's a brief go over of the local events and such and then we eat and talk about everything from politics to when the baby is due. Not sure what the fuck everyone else has going on at thier munches. Apparently I got it pretty good down here.

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Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

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Post #: 34

RE: Attending a munch - 5/29/2012 7:07:49 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
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Salin... I'm going to hazard a guess that there were single females there, they just pretended not to be, to avoid you. When my girlfriends and I go out, you know what we pretend to do when some guy is clearly trolling for company and his advances are unwanted?

We all dog pile on a friend and pretend we're in a relationship with them, even if that means posing as bi/lesbian/asexual/fixated on objects. Maybe you're so busy trying to farm up single ladies, you've forgotten to just make friends first?

edited for derp.

< Message edited by ProlificNeeds -- 5/29/2012 7:10:58 AM >

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Post #: 35

RE: Attending a munch - 5/29/2012 7:51:48 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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When the LA social was held at the Sportsman Lodge, it would be well over 200 people in the summer. There was a group of us women that were around the same age and at least half were single. We were just extremely picky. We didn't go to the socials to meet guys, we went to the socials to hang out with our friends.

The OC social at the time was only slightly smaller.

That said, I was first introduced to Master at the OC social by mutual friends. I wasn't single at the time, but he took the time to become my friend. Three years later when I was single, it all clicked for me.

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Post #: 36

RE: Attending a munch - 5/29/2012 8:02:08 AM

Pyramus

Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
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quote:

Go to a munch as a social thing

That ^ ^ ^

You'll have much better luck, btw, posting on Craigslist than going to a munch _if_ all you want is to meet someone.

Otherwise, the comment of periodically going to the munches so that you will get to know someone who knows someone is apropos.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 37

RE: Attending a munch - 5/29/2012 12:12:12 PM

Ilayda

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/3/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Salinedion

Nope, not 30 diff locations, 30 diff munches in like 4-5 locations total.

But still nada, zip, zero on the single females. If any other guy is getting unicorn-Florida lucky, it would be great to hear from him, or better yet, be him.

As Jesse Jackson used to wail, "keep hope aliiiive".

At the munches I've been to, all of which were in my town, single people of many genders, sexualities, and kink orientations have been present. Including submissive women within multiple age groups. And this isn't including poly people who are partnered and possibly open to new partners.

My guess is that you either miscalculated pairings (sometimes that guy she walks in with really IS just a friend) or you're sending off vibes that makes them avoid you/lie to you/etc.

(in reply to Salinedion)

Post #: 38

RE: Attending a munch - 5/29/2012 3:10:18 PM

kalikshama

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Yes, I've gone to munches both as a single accompanied by a guy friend and in an open relationship available for new partners.

(in reply to Ilayda)

Post #: 39

RE: Attending a munch - 5/29/2012 3:27:31 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

Salinedion, several years ago I knew someone here who was stationed in Greece. I found his munch groups for him and urged him to go...he went, and didn't meet anyone at first as most there were couples. After people liked him, the organizers introduced him to a dear friend of theirs who also happened to be a new fem sub.

He had plans to marry her and I haven't heard from them since, so I guess it was a good match.

I didn't find my own boy at a munch. We met through CollarMe. However...since I had decided to start going to munch groups and bo had already started going to one...we WOULD have met at a munch group in Charleston called KATS.

(in reply to Salinedion)

Post #: 40

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