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[Poll]

would you want to know?

2% (1)

Yes

64% (29)

Yes, tell me if you are my friend

24% (11)

No, never tell me if you are my friend

4% (2)

Or..?

4% (2)

Total Votes : 45

(last vote on : 10/8/2012 5:16:29 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: would you want to know? - 6/2/2012 11:31:56 AM

Kaliko

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FR...reading a few more posts...

The answer to the question "Would you want to know?" remains yes.

The answer to the question "Would you tell the spouse if your friend confided in you?" is no.

They are different things.

< Message edited by Kaliko -- 6/2/2012 11:32:39 AM >

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Post #: 41

RE: would you want to know? - 6/2/2012 1:54:25 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

In fact.. shortly after I found out about the first one, my sisters confirmed that he had been bringing women back to the room he had rented in their home before our marriage.
So.. no guilt from him. And no kindness from them in giving me a heads up prior to my making things legal

My goodness, they should have owed you the opportunity to make an informed decision!

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Post #: 42

RE: would you want to know? - 6/2/2012 11:13:58 PM

Missokyst

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lol pretty sure they were in the camp of MYOB. My family tends to be very hands off, unless it is amusing to let everyone know. When I got my first menses I am pretty sure it was sent out through the satellite system.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

In fact.. shortly after I found out about the first one, my sisters confirmed that he had been bringing women back to the room he had rented in their home before our marriage.
So.. no guilt from him. And no kindness from them in giving me a heads up prior to my making things legal

My goodness, they should have owed you the opportunity to make an informed decision!

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Post #: 43

RE: would you want to know? - 6/3/2012 4:33:37 AM

needlesandpins

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so the intended hubby was already cheating on you using a room from your sisters, and they still didn't tell you what a twat you were about to marry? i'd have never spoken to them again for thinking so little of me that they thought that's all i deserved.

needles

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Post #: 44

RE: would you want to know? - 6/3/2012 8:41:25 PM

Missokyst

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Eh... and trust me on this.. I can think of far worse things than this. I learned at a very young age to put anger aside. Instead I took all the lessons learned and applied them to my life. Of course.. lol I have never remarried, I tend to keep people at arms length, and in 5 decades I have only been in love twice. Had I grown up more like my relatives I would probably be on my 4th or 5th marriage by now and had a tendency to hold grudges for life. It hasn't been great all the time but I would still choose my life over theirs.

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Post #: 45

RE: would you want to know? - 6/4/2012 3:21:30 AM

needlesandpins

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oh i guess i see it that their loyalty layed with some cheating arse instead of their sister and by doing nothing condoned what he was doing to you. no matter how you handled it after the fact, he was cheating on you under their roof and did nothing about it. i think that is dispicable.

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Post #: 46

RE: would you want to know? - 6/9/2012 4:44:03 PM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

You may only want friends around you that tell you just what you want to hear. Some of us don't. Some of us want friends that push us to be better people. Friends that call us on our bullshit and aren't afraid to get in our face and tell us when we are being fucktards.

Very well said...a thought I had many times in the last years when some "friends" had a problem with it when I said my opinion, they themselves asked me for...as the saying goes "if you don't want to hear my opinion...dont ask for mine

"

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Post #: 47

RE: would you want to know? - 6/9/2012 4:52:34 PM

amaidiamond

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If we were meant to be mono and my partner cheated.. I would want to know

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Post #: 48

RE: would you want to know? - 6/9/2012 5:09:47 PM

LadyRedRoseToo

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you knew he was a lying cheat, you didn't love him but you married him anyway and then put up with his catting around? how many times did you get treated for an std? i would have wanted to know and then i would have shot his balls off.

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Post #: 49

RE: would you want to know? - 6/10/2012 8:54:16 AM

Missokyst

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If I were capable of maintaining bad feelings I might agree. Certainly I do think that anyone who cares SHOULD speak up when something is done behind their back, if only to put people on a level playing field. I think that my sisters cared a great deal for the rent and had less involvement in my life because we are quite a distance in years.
As a relative, friend.. or even stranger who sees things.. I would be inclined to give people the knowlege to make an informed decision.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

oh i guess i see it that their loyalty layed with some cheating arse instead of their sister and by doing nothing condoned what he was doing to you. no matter how you handled it after the fact, he was cheating on you under their roof and did nothing about it. i think that is dispicable.

needles

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Post #: 50

RE: would you want to know? - 6/13/2012 11:47:56 AM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

In fact.. shortly after I found out about the first one, my sisters confirmed that he had been bringing women back to the room he had rented in their home before our marriage.
So.. no guilt from him. And no kindness from them in giving me a heads up prior to my making things legal

My goodness, they should have owed you the opportunity to make an informed decision!

QFT!! If my sisters had done that (lied by omission) to me, I would have been beyond furious.

My sister has a cheating ex-husband. We were playing the game Scruples and the card came up; "If someone you know was being cheated on, would you tell them?". ACK!
I had asked her that same question some time before the game. She said, "They probably wouldn't appreciate it. They probably know anyway".

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RE: would you want to know? - 6/13/2012 12:43:09 PM

Deliena

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Personally I'd want to know. I'd like to think I would know already but it would depend how deep into that relationship I was and whether we lived together etc. as to whether the spidey sense would be wholly reliable.

My best friend even told me about a night that my ex had lied about after we'd split up because she felt he was being a tit by hiding the fact he was seeing someone else when we weren't even together any more but giving me crap about having had a date with someone new. She'd bumped into him and the new flame in a pub, spoken to both of them and when he was confronted the lie fell apart even though he couldn't see his own double-standard. Suffice to say it's one more reason I'm confident it's right that he's an ex not a current

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RE: would you want to know? - 6/13/2012 3:49:18 PM

SassySarijane

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Yes I'd want to know, but I'm sure I already would know without being told. I've always known before when it happened before I was told about it.

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