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Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P 24/7... - 5/27/2012 10:13:28 PM   
pheonixandfedexx


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/26/2012
Status: offline 		My husband Tom is 10 years into this lifestyle, and introduced me to it.
Now that we're buying a new 5 bedroom home, we're looking for a new addition to our household.
How would I go about finding one that's real?
Everyone I've contacted seems fake or not serious.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/27/2012 10:37:45 PM   
Ilayda


Posts: 58
Joined: 9/3/2011
Status: offline 		If you're looking for a lady, you're looking for something tons of others are also looking for. Single, bisexual, submissive ladies are referred to as "unicorns" for a reason. Especially if you're looking for someone willing to hop into a 24/7 live-in arrangement, it's going to take awhile. That's a big commitment, and the demographic you're looking for has a lot of options.

You find them... basically by casting a wide net and working through a lot of disappointment until you get lucky. ;)

Good luck, though!

(in reply to pheonixandfedexx)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 1:09:13 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		As politely as possible, your profile and intro will never get a bite from anyone serious.

1. You're brand new. You use T/P, which I suspect is supposed to be TPE. If you actually think that you could incorporate
2. You are unrealistic. You suggest getting two live-ins when some couples have been searching for years just for one.
3. You treat your prospective as an object. Your intro hints that you're looking simply because you now have the room. Your profile hints that she will have rules and lots of sex, but doesn't cover the basics like whether you plan to have children, if it's okay if she brings kids along, if she will have relationships outside your home, if she will work outside the home, do all the housework, etc. Also, how will she be able to submit to both of you - what happens when your directions to her conflict? Is there an age limit for her, is it all right if she's not that hot looking?
4. "She is simply stunning, and is the Goddess you will die to serve. Fedexx is the Alpha of all Alphas , and with a firm hand can break the spirit, and will of any lesser being" . Get over yourselves.
5. What do you mean, that they were "not serious"? As opposed to dismissing them, perhaps you could see in what way you were incompatible for them, and be more flexible yourselves?
6. Please try to understand that you are asking for someone to give up her current life and hand things over to you two. You're asking for someone to be a slave right away, which IMO is unrealistic - the M/s relationships I've known have begun as D/s and transitioned to M/s over years as limits and boundaries are gradually overcome. You're brand new and your husband has ten years of unexplained "experience", which could be simply kinky bedroom play or online play for all we know.

You've been on this site two days, and some have been looking for a third for years. Develop some patience.

And welcome to collarme.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Ilayda)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 2:36:13 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Welcome and lots of luck because you've set up a tall order here to fill.
You asked in your intro how you might go about finding someone who is real, well you might become more 'real' yourself in understanding exactly what you're trying to accomplish. You'll need to step up your game about 500%. You're trying to accomplish the Holy Grail of BDSM, the single bi female live in....twice. It's like asking for lightning to strike. Twice even.

DS outlined the major points, all I can do is emphasize that your goal here is completely unrealistic and I'm glad that you both seem so happy together as that is about as far as things will probably go. Good luck.

(in reply to pheonixandfedexx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 3:20:15 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I've been poly since 1971 and speak from experience. There are a lot flavors when it comes to poly . . . poly primary pair, poly extended family, poly V, intimate family, etc etc etc. I found the best way to go unicorn hunting is simply look for good partners. Searching for a good bisexual partner is a lot easier than filtering out most of your prospects by requiring a live in off the start. Find a submissive bisexual lover, this place is loaded with them. Spend time together and if you all fall in love, lust or whatever, then they will be more open to moving in.

You probably want to nurture their spirit rather than break it though. Makes the idea of moving in more palatable. Many people see a big difference between training or shaping a submissive than just breaking them. If slaves are property, who would want to become a piece of broken property? Why would anyone want a broken person in their house . . . sounds like amateur fantasies or mental illness to me. Your profile is in sad shape and you really need to fix it up. The fact you can't tell your profile is waving big red flags doesn't bode well for you . . .

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 4:00:37 AM   
OohAahMrs


Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome guys, this is one of the most common "wants" on CM I always say, you need a new angle on this thing or accept it will probably never happen.

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to pheonixandfedexx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 4:51:59 AM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		Welcome.... both of you

_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

(in reply to pheonixandfedexx)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 4:53:53 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
The fact you can't tell your profile is waving big red flags doesn't bode well for you . . .


One very simple example. The last sentence states "Get at us, and understand this is something that will only be offered for 1 of you to grab." Yet your intro states that you are looking for one or two slaves.

You don't even know how many women you intend to accommodate.

A couple that was serious about this would have some idea of the finances, what personality types would work, etc. You actually state that you're ready to take full control of another person's life, and you haven't even begun the basics.



_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 7:43:03 AM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		welcome to CM.

_____________________________

“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 8:17:24 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums, OP.

From what I'm gathering on the thread, the husband's ten years in the lifestyle isn't applied at all to the poly aspect of things.  Buying a bigger house doesn't mean that you have suddenly become and attractive poly couple.  Saying that you want a live in off of the bat shows that you don't have a good grasp on what it means to establish a good poly dynamic.

When you two met, did you get to know each other?  Did you date for a while?  At the point where the lifestyle was introduced into the relationship, was there a time period where the situation was negotiated, discussions held about what would make both of you happy to have within the household, and time spent on what was fulfilling?

If you did all of that, why wouldn't you think that adding an additional person wouldn't involve the same things.  It's actually harder to establish all of that when going from two people to three.  Not recognizing that fact is why you are not appealing to the quality that you would like to obtain. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Delilya)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 8:45:35 AM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		It honestly sounds as though the OPs have been inspired by BDSM lit/porn. If you are truly interested in poly, take the very good advice here. As people point out, you are seeking something very hard to find, and the lack of success is far more likely down to you, your approach and your unrealistic expectations, rather than others being ´fakes´. And lose the arrogant ´we´re so hot´, hotness being in the eye of the beholder.

_____________________________

Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 8:56:10 AM   
niceguy88


Posts: 32
Joined: 5/24/2012
Status: offline
quote:

"She is simply stunning, and is the Goddess you will die to serve. Fedexx is the Alpha of all Alphas , and with a firm hand can break the spirit, and will of any lesser being" . Get over yourselves.
I love creative writing and I am sorry but I couldn't help but think Fedexx was the delivery service of all delivery services :D, forgive me my mind wanders.

Welcome to the site, good luck in your search!

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 9:37:25 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I'm also going to add to what has been said.

The number of bi sub women who want or are willing to be poly is extremely small. Your competition is stiff. It's a basic supply & demand equation. You're mistaken if you think that women are going to be hunting you down. You will need to reach out to them and you will need to be exceptional in what you offer.



_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to niceguy88)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Hot, Established Couple Looking For One or Two T/P ... - 5/28/2012 1:18:31 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome OP, you have received some wonderful advice here. DS's list is a great tool to go by. I hope you find what you seek.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
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