Some advice on "exploring" (Full Version)

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Justme1994 -> Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 6:22:07 AM)

Hello. To start off I am only 18 so well I'm confidant enough to turn up to local groups I would feel a little unconformable, and would like to avoid it.

I am interested in exploring the way of life rather then purely for sex. Since a young age I have had, of course never really explored, this idea in my head that my girlfriends should submit to me. More in a day to day role then sex (as I said "young age"). I've always been careful about it until a while ago my now ex admitted to me sure was part of this kind of community.

Basically I'm looking for advice. Should I really start slowly exploring or what? Contact a few people in my local area or... what exactly should I start out doing?

Thanks for answering. [:)]



Muttling -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 6:25:47 AM)

Find a munch in your local area and start going to them. (A munch is a get together of BDSM people in a vanilla setting such as a restaurant.) Most areas have one or more that meet regularly. The best way to find one near you is to log on to Fetlife.com and look for groups in your area.



DarkSteven -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 6:27:27 AM)

Welcome to collarme!

I'm a definite proponent of getting into the local scene with local groups. Try Googling your area with "BDSM" added and see what turns up. I'd also suggest looking for TNG groups, which are ages 18-35.



littlewonder -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 7:58:26 AM)

I know my thoughts differ than most on this subject. Imo, you're 18. You should be out exploring life in general, learning from your mistakes, having fun, enjoying different and varied things so that one day you will be more sure of what you want and don't want.

Imo at the ripe, young, age of 18 you are still learning about yourself and who you are and what you want in life. So, go ahead, experience bdsm but don't go full fledged into it. Experience other parts of life in general. By doing so you'll learn far more than automatically saying you're this or that and that you want this or that.




LadyPact -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 7:59:54 AM)

Look for the U35 groups in your country.  Just a difference in cultures.  On our side of the pond, we call them TNG (the next generation) groups.



Ilayda -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 9:43:24 AM)

I agree with the above posters. I'd also suggest starting a Fetlife profile - that's where I've found most of my offline BDSM friends.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 9:51:40 AM)

Yes, Fetlife. Its also 100% free just like CM and it has a lot better search function for finding events in your local area than CM does. When you're on there, click on Events at the top of the page and, from there, click on the option Near Me. You should find lots. Good luck.

NBMG



Karmastic -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 1:10:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I know my thoughts differ than most on this subject. Imo, you're 18. You should be out exploring life in general, learning from your mistakes, having fun, enjoying different and varied things so that one day you will be more sure of what you want and don't want.

Imo at the ripe, young, age of 18 you are still learning about yourself and who you are and what you want in life. So, go ahead, experience bdsm but don't go full fledged into it. Experience other parts of life in general. By doing so you'll learn far more than automatically saying you're this or that and that you want this or that.



i agree, well said.

also, people often totally change, or totally change what they want, during these years. don't jump head first.



JeffBC -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 7:11:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme1994
Basically I'm looking for advice. Should I really start slowly exploring or what?

You have an idea which is interesting to you. You will never know if the actuality of that idea is interesting or not unless you explore. Besides... what's the risk? You explore and you like it or you don't. Much more likely is that you explore and you find the reality is nothing like what you imagined... at which point you either like it or you don't :)

quote:

what exactly should I start out doing?

The standard advice is google for a local munch and go from there. A munch is a low-key sort of way to approach the community. The one I went to was almost totally vanilla in appearance and not particularly intimidating.



Blankpain -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/28/2012 10:07:58 PM)

I didn't look to see if you're male or female but the advice is the same.
I'd suggest finding a traditional date - and - then - try the kink with that person.
If it doesn't work out. Try another. It will eventually work out just fine.



littlecherie -> RE: Some advice on "exploring" (5/30/2012 8:41:19 AM)

Trust me, more people use this as life stuff, not sexual things. Although it kind of all rolls into one for myself. Go to groups, talk to people, make friends :) It's fun! I always do 'vanilla' friends with my kinky friends.



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