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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 8:32:16 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
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Bita,
I totally understand :)

I just read your profile. I have to laugh, I love your style of describing yourself all the way down to registering complaints to the TrubledTimes. True creativity there!

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Post #: 21

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 9:26:16 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

i have only used my safe word once in 5 years and that was when my head was too messed up to get in a good place. for me a scene is something that helps me let go of all of the other things and with that helps me focus. my wife has requested that i go and se myMistress to get my self right. so playing while messed up dosent work for me but with some discussion i can get a handle on whatever it is and then be able to scene and enjoy the ride to subspace

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LadyPact

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 22

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 9:47:45 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

Its rather the opposite for me. The scene will allow me to become singly fixated on the Domme from the start. I am able to tune out all other things including time. I can focus totally on her and not think about anything else. The stress does not get into my head. Though releasing that stress may increase my physical endurance. But I do not really know if that is due to the endorphine release or the testosterone release LOL.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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Post #: 23

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 9:52:41 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

My predominant negative emotions are not on the anger end, more on the anxiety end. Absolutely a good session untangles my emotions! I think my Owner tends to be very aware of my emotional states and arranges our play around them. Due to my health issues emotional stress/anxiety isn't a great thing for me, luckily he keeps me on a fairly even keel.

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Post #: 24

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 10:16:34 PM

subbyinlosangele

Posts: 117
Joined: 1/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Rage Against the Machine

I have had a lot rage pent up lately. Nothing overly traumatic or anything like that. Just lots of work stress, not knowing if I will have a job tomorrow and life’s other irritating interruptions like things breaking around the house, car stereo quit working, house is up for sale with no showing in 4 months.

This made me think and reflect on one of the reasons I enjoy BDSM. For those that do not know me I am on the sub side of things and I have been in the lifestyle for 25+ years. There is a saying in bondage you can find freedom. I have found that to be very true for me. To me there is nothing like a good B&D session to let all those pent up frustrations out.

I am not talking all the time. Most of the time I am more than content to play however the Domme chooses. I do enjoy serving and do it willingly. But there are those times when I need to let my rage go. And when I say rage I do not mean aggressive anger. I never want to harm anyone but rather the opposite, I want someone to work me over and good. Both mentally and physically.

I think this is a fairly common phenomena for subs. I have read more than once very dominant men in their vanilla life seeking release via BDSM.

For the Alpha subs out there, do you seek this type of release from time to time?

I am also curious for the Dom(mes) out there. Do you utilize BDSM to work out you normal day to day frustrations when they come to a head? Do you find yourself more aggressive than normal when you notice that pent up rage?

To each their own, but I don't think BDSM is a particularly healthy way to deal with rage. I think going to the gym and working out is a much better outlet.

What you are talking doesn't sound like letting your rage out to me. Seems more basic masochism -- when you're feeling low you want someone to take you to the bottom. If that works for you, fine.

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 25

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 10:50:23 PM

SoulAlloy

Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I must be doing something wrong because they say exercise releases all those good chemicals but after I exercise the only thing I feel is sore and tired and grumpy.

But if we're playing hard or I'm in tight strict bondage then I get those chemical releases. It's the only time in my entire life I have ever had them.

I am exactly the same when it comes to exercise, I know people who love it, the most I've felt is so tired I couldn't care for anything but sleep

Heh, from the title I thought this was first going to be a topic on brattishness ("I won't do what they tell me...")

I've found play can be good for emotional release, I don't like doing it though if I'm overly stressed, angry or very sad - it makes me feel as though I'm using my partner for that release. That's probably me being a tad neurotic though

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Post #: 26

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 2:09:47 AM

Blankpain

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
Status: offline

> I am not an alpha sub ...

What 'is' an alpha sub anyway?

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Post #: 27

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 3:51:27 AM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbyinlosangele

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Rage Against the Machine

I have had a lot rage pent up lately. Nothing overly traumatic or anything like that. Just lots of work stress, not knowing if I will have a job tomorrow and life’s other irritating interruptions like things breaking around the house, car stereo quit working, house is up for sale with no showing in 4 months.

This made me think and reflect on one of the reasons I enjoy BDSM. For those that do not know me I am on the sub side of things and I have been in the lifestyle for 25+ years. There is a saying in bondage you can find freedom. I have found that to be very true for me. To me there is nothing like a good B&D session to let all those pent up frustrations out.

I am not talking all the time. Most of the time I am more than content to play however the Domme chooses. I do enjoy serving and do it willingly. But there are those times when I need to let my rage go. And when I say rage I do not mean aggressive anger. I never want to harm anyone but rather the opposite, I want someone to work me over and good. Both mentally and physically.

I think this is a fairly common phenomena for subs. I have read more than once very dominant men in their vanilla life seeking release via BDSM.

For the Alpha subs out there, do you seek this type of release from time to time?

I am also curious for the Dom(mes) out there. Do you utilize BDSM to work out you normal day to day frustrations when they come to a head? Do you find yourself more aggressive than normal when you notice that pent up rage?

To each their own, but I don't think BDSM is a particularly healthy way to deal with rage. I think going to the gym and working out is a much better outlet.

What you are talking doesn't sound like letting your rage out to me. Seems more basic masochism -- when you're feeling low you want someone to take you to the bottom. If that works for you, fine.

The neurochemical release (endorphines and enkephalins) that occures in your body whether it be a good work out in the gym or a good BDSM work can be the same. I really do not see a difference between the 2. But that if for me. If a person is not comfortable letting go in this manor then he/she will not get that release. I am not saying there is a right or wrong just that it does work for me.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to subbyinlosangele)

Post #: 28

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 3:54:45 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I know exactly what you are talking about. My sub has a very demanding and stressful job, and he works far too much (something we are working on, but he is, like me, very Type A in some ways.)

Our sessions together are for the sole purpose of him letting off steam, and me getting him to the place where he can get there. Now, I enjoy that, and most especially enjoy it with this particular person, as I love his reactions.

(It's important to realize I see this person a few times a year. If we met more often, a couple times a month perhaps, we would have more opportunities to do more than "open up his stress relief valve." Which frankly I would enjoy.)

I have found what you are talking about a very common thing in male s-types. I have much less experience with females, but I would venture to guess their "need" for specific sessions have more to do with emotions than pent up stress. This is certainly true in my case.

If I have too much stress (I used to have a *very* stressful job myself), I find myself having a strong need to dominant someone in a very physical way. Though, like the others, I would not do this if I was in a rage. (I rarely rage, but when I do, I'm like LadyH, ER hospital type dangerous.)

Hope this helps, and it's lovely to see you posting so much on the boards.

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Post #: 29

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 4:13:10 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Obviously I cannot look at this from the submissive side but based upon the other posts, there is a miriad of emotions being discussed that, for me, create very different needs of outlet.

Stress.......give me quiet, at home, time. Healthy comfort food, plenty of sleep, lots of outside time, doggy snuggles........and I can recharge.

Feeling down......I know I need to get to the gym and work up a sweat, home, then the stuff above.

Pissy, annoyance, my patience meter running low.......the same as above.

Rage.......I so very rarely feel that level of anger that I still don't have a constructive outlet as a default. The only times I've ever felt rage is when someone I love very much is being threatened and the only thing that satisfies that rage is to neutralize that danger. After that, I feel exhilarated then exhausted. I just want to sleep and recharge. Only a couple times in my adult life has that happened.

Mostly......I just need to be sure I am eating healthy, getting plenty of outdoor time, exercise and sleep and I stay pretty even keeled. So very little need to adjust things.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 30

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 6:30:00 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He won't play when angry. I don't want to play when angry.

I have asked to be reduced to tears when under a lot of stress. By the time I will ask for it though, he's decided I can't actually handle it well and has chosen to send me to bed instead.

Have you staged your house?

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Post #: 31

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 6:52:24 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I experienced something similar but different with my ex owner. I had a lot of anger and rage pent up that I wasn't even aware of. He'd play me very hard, and provoke those emotions out of me - all that rage would come out and when he was finished I wouldn't say I was peaceful, but exhausted. At first it was a scary place to go, but after awhile I began to look forward to it.

For lots of reasons, I don't have rage and anger in me anymore, and now play is a fun fun time, bringing out silliness and laughter in me. But I understand what you're talking about.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 32

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 11:41:19 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Absolutely not.

Taking frustrations out on a sub is abuse, not play.

Much better to put holes in paper at the range. Sure your accuracy sucks, but it's very good at getting rid of stress.

OMG this.^^^ We have a shooting range here in Memphis that is right down the road from the house. So when anger or frustration hits, we load up..then LOAD UP! It does work wonders. And Malcolm is right, My shots are never accurate, unless I take My time. But when I'm frustrated, I have usually killed whatever target I picked that day everywhere except the bulls eye area lol.

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Post #: 33

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 11:44:32 AM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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I defuse her stress with love, and my own stress with writing. (Writing is very love/hate for me, but the act itself is cathartic.)

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Post #: 34

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 2:36:41 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Absofreakinlutely! There's nothing like a good beat down to get me to The Happy and let go of stress.

Amen, brother!

+1

Generally, the anger/stress is dissipated anyway as I mentally switch gears while preparing for the scene (anticipating, showering, shaving, driving to my playmate). And then come the happy hormones, woo hoo!

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 35

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 3:05:29 PM

Karmastic

Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline

i think i get what you're saying OP, and yes, i can see that being a good way to release stress and blow off steam. similarly, straight sex, or any variations of any type of play (bdsm or not, sexual or not) is a great way to release stress.

i would be worried if it was the other way around, with a top was letting themselves go too far, getting caught in the moment of releasing their rage in the wrong way (that goes too far).

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 5/30/2012 3:06:27 PM >

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Post #: 36

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 3:52:00 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

First off thank you for all the responses. This has been very interesting to read. I have tried to respond to all but I am getting so many responses now I will have to narrow my responses down.

LaT hit the mark in that there are a whole range of emotions. And what some might consider stress, others might consider anger while others just might consider being in a pissy mood. For each individual their definition will vary. For me when I say rage it’s a mix of stress, feeling down, over worked, etc all rolled into one. But its not anger. I just want to make that clear in my case. When I get angry I typically withdraw and get very quiet.

Chatte brings up a point of difference between a Dom(me) and a sub. If a Dom(me) lets go he/she can do injury to their sub. Versus if the sub lets go he/she is not typically going to hurt someone. In my case I see no potential harm in letting go and letting the rage out as I am typically bound and cannot do anything anyway but struggle. So the only harm I see that I can cause myself is not safe wording. I also trust the person whom I am playing with and that they would stop even if I did not safeword. So from the sub side I just do not see an issue with letting it out or at least in my case.

The not hitting a person when you are angry brings up an interesting point though. We are brought and taught never to hit another person and especially if angry. This is ingrained in us our whole lives growing up. You need to find a safe outlet for that rage but it is not okay to hit someone. So I can see this being an dilemma for a Dom(me) who is letting some anger out. There can be a fine line between stress and letting anger spill over into the scene. Just an interesting thought for my subbie point of view :)

Another interesting point is the neurochemical release that occurs. As with any type of stress release neurochemical release occur in the body to relieve stress and give a feeling relaxation or euphoria. The part I find interesting is an intense BDSM workout can put me on a high for weeks and even up to a month. I do not get that long of a high out of exercise. Kayaking may put me in a good mood for a couple of days. So I am wondering what the difference is? I wonder if it’s the mixing of adrenaline with the endorphins and enkephalins that make it last much longer. Or am I just mentally insane? LOL

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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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Post #: 37

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 9:23:34 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

The not hitting a person when you are angry brings up an interesting point though. We are brought and taught never to hit another person and especially if angry. This is ingrained in us our whole lives growing up. You need to find a safe outlet for that rage but it is not okay to hit someone. So I can see this being an dilemma for a Dom(me) who is letting some anger out. There can be a fine line between stress and letting anger spill over into the scene. Just an interesting thought for my subbie point of view :)

There's a difference between controlled anger and out of control anger. It's not the anger that's the problem, it's a person's response to his/her own anger. I really don't see an issue with someone playing aggressively (and this means hitting) while angry, if the anger is under control. Not everyone who is angry loses control over themselves.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 38

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/30/2012 9:50:28 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

NuevaVida,
That is an excellent point. Being in control of ones own anger is not a problem. Its when one loses control of that anger is when it becomes a problem. And I do agree with you that its okay to play and vent anger as long as one is in control.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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Post #: 39

RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/31/2012 2:53:39 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321
Lady Pact,
I think you did an excellent job of describing what I was trying to say with my poor choice of words. Exercise and an excellent anology to what I was trying to describe.

I knew the subject would be polarizing and people would take stands on both sides. My poor choice of words did not help either.

I'm pretty sure that you know how I am about words and definitions, but in this case, I was trying to go with the spirit of the post. The situations that you were describing, to Me, aren't "rage". While those kinds of things can wear on you, I don't even see them bringing anger. I mean, the house not showing. That's really not rage to Me.

quote:

Now the excercise questions bring up some other questions then. I sort of wondered is it a testosterone thing? A recent blood test had my over 1000 which for a guy my age is rather high. But the exercise thing allows the release of 2 other hormones, endorphines and enkephalins. These latch on to the opioid receptors and give that euphoric feeling after exercise or even a good BDSM session. The harder the excercise the more endorphines and enkephalins that are released. And lack of exercise can lead to the build up of stress. A very interesting point!

I really don't know if it elevates testosterone. There are documented scientific studies that endorphins elevate due to exercise. Our minds and our bodies really are designed to be pushed. If it can apply to runners, it can apply to BDSM.

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(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 40

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