Forced Submission play?

Forced Submission play? (Full Version)

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NSpice -> Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 12:27:52 AM)
I keep finding that those masters that I've been with are never interested in one particular fantasy that I have. I want to start the day as usual, then start misbehaving in little ways that gradually increase and become more blatant. From maybe a small task badly done to all the way up to outright saying "no" to a session. And then I want to be 'forced' into it. There doesn't even need to be much punishment, I would be quite pleased if I was just thrown down and taken, especially if I could struggle and fight while they did it. I have tried to bring this up, and been very careful about safewords, but still nothing. Is this too close to trying to top from the bottom to be desired? Am I doing something wrong, or have I just been unlucky? I'd be grateful for some input.

crazyml -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 12:36:14 AM)
Hello Spice, I don't think your fantasy is all that unusual, and I don't think you should have all that much trouble finding someone who'd enjoy doing it with you. Some people will be a bit squeamish about the "force" - The smart ones will want to get to know you before doing something that, if it went wrong or there was a misunderstanding could land them in the big house, but your fantasy isn't too out there by any means. Patience...

NSpice -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 12:39:09 AM)
Oh, of course! I would never think about doing this without a serious discussion about limits and safewords beforehand. I'm starting to think that perhaps a written contract might be a good idea, so a potential dom doesn't think I'm trying to either get them in trouble or use this for future blackmail. Good idea?

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 2:17:21 AM)
I don't think this is so unusual that you should have a problem. Lots of people enjoy consensual 'force' scenes and takedown scenes. A lot of doms aren't interested in a brat sub who deliberately plays up to get the kind of attention they want on a day to day basis - that would get old pretty quickly. But to do once in a while with prior agreement shouldn't be an issue for most. Perhaps you need to make it clear that this is just a scene you want to do, and not that you intend on being deliberately troublesome all the time. Does that make sense? We play those kind of games from time to time, but I generally behave and do as I'm told. He wants his submissive to, you know, submit.

NSpice -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 2:56:39 AM)
It usually gives me more pleasure than I can say to honestly submit, but every so often, this one fantasy just hits me in the gut and I can't think about everything else. I'm not sure if I'm not making myself clear enough that this would be a one time thing. I think I shall have to ask for a sit-down and discuss this in more detail, since I'm not making myself understood. Incidentally, your sig is from one of my very favorite poems.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 3:37:57 AM)
What you are talking about is a very common fantasy for female s-types. I would say all female s-types have fantasies along this nature, whether they are willing to admit it and share them, or not. Case in point, the extreme popularity of the "bodice ripper" and other romantic novels, wherein this fantasy is played out in more socially acceptable guise. Not all dominants can play the romantic (male) lead in this fantasy. I think the force issue has been so thoroughly drummed into them that it's not a taboo they can break. Finding a female domme to do this is not impossible, but I can see it being difficult. Add this to your day long "bratting" type foreplay (another thing many have issues with), and I can understand why you are frustrated. But you are very young, live in Ca which has many people into kink, and so you have the time and opportunities to find what you seek. My advice on this fantasy is to take it slow. Try to break it down from this huge 12 hour scene to maybe a pinch of bratting followed by a punishment or a take down. It's been my experience (all with dom males) that this type of roleplay takes time to work into for both parties. Any dominant willing to rape you without knowing you very well does not have your best interests in mind.

littlewonder -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 5:34:23 AM)
It's extremely common, even among "vanilla" people. Maybe you're talking to Doms who are looking for slaves and not subs? Just a thought. If it's something you want, maybe put it in your profile.

DesFIP -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 6:43:06 AM)
Are these casual play scenes or inside a relationship? It makes a difference. See, a guy who doesn't really know you won't know if you actually want out or not, if you'll remember your safeword or be able to use it. And he doesn't want to make a mistake and go to jail. Inside of a relationship, they're going to be able to read you better. However, you're describing a long, involved day. And nobody wants to have to do a force scene just to get a second cup of coffee. Try negotiated bratting instead. Agree that you can be annoying, poke him, not listen when told to stop on a Saturday afternoon until he decides to pick you up, hold you down bodily, and spanks you till you can't sit down. That's an hour or two. And much less exhausting. Or try wrestling, with each of you trying to pin the other and subdue the other. He can keep restraints nearby to keep you pinned once he gets you where he wants you. That one will involve cutting your clothes off so make sure you won't mind. But ask first, since you won't know otherwise if it's a good day for this or not.

OsideGirl -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 7:16:37 AM)
I'm also going to add: You seem to have this all planned out. No Dominant likes to be handed a blow by blow script by a submissive. That turns them into the order taker and a kink delivery system.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 7:45:00 AM)
OP: Your fantasy is common, but one part in it makes me go 'ugh'. The misbehaving part. For some girls and guys that part is just unnecessarily bratty. During the times when I top nothing kills my mood more, than the 'misbehaving'. I don't need excuses to get rough or 'take down' my target, my partner will get all sorts of rough loving even if they are well behaved. Infact the best way for them to get what they want.. is to ask, even beg for it like a GOOD pet. Perhaps you should not plan out how to get there, or try to 'provoke' getting what you want. Instead just ask for it, and let the Dom decide how to get there. This is a two sided event, it's not all about what you want either, keep that in mind when asking for any sort of fantasy, or you leave the other party going, "... oh really? Am I just your fetish delivery system now?" Good luck to you! Edited for derp.

JeffBC -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 7:59:48 AM)
I don't really understand why this would be a problem either. I have zero tolerance for brattiness but you're not suggesting real brattiness... you're talking about a scene to blow your skirt up. You're not talking all the time... you're talking once in a while. The "force" part also isn't that weird. Heck, I've actually forced Carol (she actively and strongly didn't want sex at the time) and I don't even like sadism. I mean seriously, I'm the wrong dom for this on every possible score and I'm still comfortable with it. What would be a "hell no" for me would be doing a take-down scene with someone I didn't know very well. I just can't imagine giving a total stranger that much power over me (felony sentences, prison, etc.)

littlecherie -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 8:42:57 AM)
I love this stuff! This is my kink, the one thing I love out of everything in this stuff. With Master, I just... told him straight out. "I like to be forced, Master." This is pretty much what our relationship is based on in the bedroom. Outside of sex, I am very obedient. Sexually? He makes me do stuff. And it's amazing. Good luck!

kittenheels43 -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/30/2012 1:03:38 PM)
its called consensual none consent is it not? stick it in your profile and the Doms will flock to you as for the misbehaving all day thing, don't plan it out, you don't need to know when he is going to go all 'neanderthal' on you, in fact its best you don't... just be a little less subservient and a little bit uncooperative... oh you'll probably get corner timed, and spanked, and all sorts of other punishments first... good lord, it sounds fun...

NSpice -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/31/2012 1:38:48 AM)
Thank you all so much for taking the time to answer my question in detail and also for all the encouragement and advice. I'll think about how to approach this better and how to bring it up with my partners so we're all on the same page.

Focus50 -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/31/2012 4:04:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NSpice I keep finding that those masters that I've been with are never interested in one particular fantasy that I have. I want to start the day as usual, then start misbehaving in little ways that gradually increase and become more blatant. From maybe a small task badly done to all the way up to outright saying "no" to a session. And then I want to be 'forced' into it. There doesn't even need to be much punishment, I would be quite pleased if I was just thrown down and taken, especially if I could struggle and fight while they did it. I have tried to bring this up, and been very careful about safewords, but still nothing. Is this too close to trying to top from the bottom to be desired? Am I doing something wrong, or have I just been unlucky? I'd be grateful for some input. Contrived misbehaviour is the stuff of roleplay - a means to an end. If you mean within a casual scene, then I can see how that may be somewhat tedious to doms who are more focused on their dick's needs.... Me, I don't indulge in roleplay or casual play but if you remove "contrived misbehaviour" from the equation, then you're pretty much describing the function of what I would call a normal D/s relationship. But it only works for me in a committed, monogamous relationship. I'm a Dom; I run the relationship and she has rules and standards of behaviour to abide by. Because it IS a committed relationship, I don't need her to contrive poor behaviour because she's human enough to mess up (occasionally) without "working" at it. And if she did, she'd quickly learn just how much I despise being manipulated by anyone! From my perspective, you need to find a relationship rather than play partners. The subs I've known have been perfectionsists who loathed screwing up and/or disappointing me. Yet it still happens, partly because I can be a demanding SOB and partly because it's inevitable a perfectionist will have their failures. From my Dom's perspective, this is also why I prefer a spirited sub because I also enjoy those NON-CONTRIVED opportunities to discipline the girl when she does screw up. What's the point (or fun) in having power if you don't get to exercise it occasionally...? Focus.

GotSteel -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/31/2012 10:05:58 AM)
I don't think it's particularly rare. Some dom's might not be that into the "forced" thing but as cherie pointed out plenty will get off on having their way with you. I think the bigger hurdle is that you're writing off the service oriented crowd with this kink, they really won't be into rewarding you for bad behavior. You just need to find somebody into funishment. They exist but you may want to change your profile to reflect what you're looking for, it sounds like you're service oriented at the moment.

sexyred1 -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/31/2012 1:49:48 PM)
I see nothing unusual or strange about the OP's request. I like "force" as well. As everyone else said, make sure you are clear about what you want when meeting new people.

NuevaVida -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/31/2012 3:06:26 PM)
I don't think it's all that strange or rare, either. Made me think of being a SAM, with a dom or top who enjoys SAMs - not a big deal, just gotta find someone who would enjoy it with you. I typically behave quite well, but I have discovered some SAM tendencies with the Mister. It's not something I plan out, or an all day process, but yeah, at times I'll be playfully bratty and he'll throw me down and we both find it hot. It's not really role play, because it's not planned out or contrived, it's just something that happens naturally (mostly while already playing) and we enjoy it. Forced and "take down" is hot, in the right context. Mutual enjoyment of SAM = take down can be an awesome, shared experience.

BitaTruble -> RE: Forced Submission play? (5/31/2012 3:32:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NSpice I keep finding that those masters that I've been with are never interested in one particular fantasy that I have. I want to start the day as usual, then start misbehaving in little ways that gradually increase and become more blatant. From maybe a small task badly done to all the way up to outright saying "no" to a session. And then I want to be 'forced' into it. There doesn't even need to be much punishment, I would be quite pleased if I was just thrown down and taken, especially if I could struggle and fight while they did it. I have tried to bring this up, and been very careful about safewords, but still nothing. Is this too close to trying to top from the bottom to be desired? Am I doing something wrong, or have I just been unlucky? I'd be grateful for some input. Don't over think it. Just go up to domly and ::insert your own style of communication here:: "Hey, Domly.. I find this fantasy super hot.. makes me drippy-hot. Is there anything I can do to earn this sort of scene?" Then it's up to the domly. Good luck.

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