Objectification...

Objectification... (Full Version)

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BrattyBottomRN -> Objectification... (6/6/2006 5:30:32 PM)
Hi guys... Yeah, I'm still learnin' here. Can anyone explain a little more about objectification to me? Can you give me some examples? Explain what this is exactly? Thanks!

desertdancer -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 5:35:45 PM)
It's when someone uses you as an object, say you kneel on knees and arms before they're chair and they use you as a foot stool, or maybe use you as a table, mostly you don't speak talk or move, you are there just as the object you are portraying. For some it takes them directly into sub-space to be used only as the object. Hope that helps a little, one of the more educated Cm members will be along shortly to expand on this I am sure ~dancer

CreativeDominant -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 5:43:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrattyBottomRN Hi guys... Yeah, I'm still learnin' here. Can anyone explain a little more about objectification to me? Can you give me some examples? Explain what this is exactly? Thanks! desertdancer gave a good example. Another one is when a dominant makes sexual use of you with the idea being that, whatever happens, it is his pleasure that is uppermost and flashing in neon letters in his mind. It is all about him at that point. He may fuck you for 10 minutes or he may fuck you for an hour...once or several times...in one hole or in all. Your pleasure, or lack of it, matters not a whit unless he wants it to. Say you and he have discussed a gangbang in the past and you've expressed being O.K. with the idea...this may be the night he springs it on you. There could be many variations but I am sure you see what I mean here [:D] You've just been objectified...this time as a sexual object.

ScooterTrash -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 5:46:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrattyBottomRN Hi guys... Yeah, I'm still learnin' here. Can anyone explain a little more about objectification to me? Can you give me some examples? Explain what this is exactly? Thanks! I think the basic layman interpretation would be that you assume the role of a material "thing". This could be anything from a toilet or chair, to an ashtray....really anthing you want. Personally, I have enough material "things" to go around so I don't delve into this particular kink or fetish, but there are many that do.

marieToo -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 5:47:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrattyBottomRN Hi guys... Yeah, I'm still learnin' here. Can anyone explain a little more about objectification to me? Can you give me some examples? Explain what this is exactly? Thanks! Another aspect of objectification is also a mindset that some Ds couples employ. slave/sub feels like a thing, an object to be used, not necessarily an inanimate object (like furniture etc). It could be just being in the frame of mind that you are a thing of some sort, an object of Masters use...ie a fucktoy. Depending on how this is framed up and in what context it is applied, it can very much make you feel 'less human' and more 'objectified'.

desertdancer -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 6:01:27 PM)
oooh * shivers* marietoo, you just used my favorite name "fucktoy" this is another great way to be objectified. I love nothing more then being the object he uses to vent himself on, I don't care about my pleasure because knowing he is 'using me' is the very best pleasure for me.

marieToo -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 6:15:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: desertdancer oooh * shivers* marietoo, you just used my favorite name "fucktoy" this is another great way to be objectified. I love nothing more then being the object he uses to vent himself on, I don't care about my pleasure because knowing he is 'using me' is the very best pleasure for me. lol . Aint it great! For me, its like being nameless and faceless.... just something to be slammed down and purely invaded. yummy

juliaoceania -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 6:19:55 PM)
Outside of the D/s setting people with this kink often engage in sex with strangers so it is faceless and anonymous. That is also an example of objectification.. offering one's self up to be used by someone that only wants to use you for that moment in time with no other strings attached

champagnewishes -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 6:26:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Outside of the D/s setting people with this kink often engage in sex with strangers so it is faceless and anonymous. That is also an example of objectification.. offering one's self up to be used by someone that only wants to use you for that moment in time with no other strings attached As in simply a means to an end....

marieToo -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 6:48:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Outside of the D/s setting people with this kink often engage in sex with strangers so it is faceless and anonymous. That is also an example of objectification.. offering one's self up to be used by someone that only wants to use you for that moment in time with no other strings attached Just to clarify. For me, I first have to be valued in the relationship to be 'used' that way. I know it sounds contradictory. But I personally do not engage in NSA sex with strangers. I appreciate your input, but I just wanted to clarify. [:)]

Jnj -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 8:13:44 PM)
I've always felt that objectification goes beyond turning the bottom into a thing or animal, and more towards the sense that the bottom is being treated in a dehumanizing manner. Some times Jim does it to me in a way that doesn't make me feel like a "thing", but instead he makes me experience extreme emotions, and then ignores that I have them. It really makes me feel like I'm no longer a person.

objectivist -> RE: Objectification... (6/6/2006 9:04:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Outside of the D/s setting people with this kink often engage in sex with strangers so it is faceless and anonymous. That is also an example of objectification.. offering one's self up to be used by someone that only wants to use you for that moment in time with no other strings attached Just to clarify. For me, I first have to be valued in the relationship to be 'used' that way. I know it sounds contradictory. But I personally do not engage in NSA sex with strangers. I appreciate your input, but I just wanted to clarify. [:)] I have always made a distinction between the concepts "an object" and MY object." With value and worth being integral factor. It has long seemed to me that "swingers" take objectification to a whole different level, by objectifying a person to a body part fetish, rather than the whole as an object. But, that's just my observation. But working from that observation, I find the constant search for new bodyparts to fill in the blanks in a masturbation fantasy, to be just a little creepy.

marieToo -> RE: Objectification... (6/7/2006 5:23:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: objectivist quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Outside of the D/s setting people with this kink often engage in sex with strangers so it is faceless and anonymous. That is also an example of objectification.. offering one's self up to be used by someone that only wants to use you for that moment in time with no other strings attached Just to clarify. For me, I first have to be valued in the relationship to be 'used' that way. I know it sounds contradictory. But I personally do not engage in NSA sex with strangers. I appreciate your input, but I just wanted to clarify. [:)] I have always made a distinction between the concepts "an object" and MY object." With value and worth being integral factor. It has long seemed to me that "swingers" take objectification to a whole different level, by objectifying a person to a body part fetish, rather than the whole as an object. But, that's just my observation. But working from that observation, I find the constant search for new bodyparts to fill in the blanks in a masturbation fantasy, to be just a little creepy. lmaooo. This might give me nightmares.... torso, anyone??

Sensualips -> RE: Objectification... (6/7/2006 5:35:43 AM)
quote: he makes me experience extreme emotions, and then ignores that I have them. It really makes me feel like I'm no longer a person. That is fascinating. I have not heard it described exactly that way before. I don't mean to drift off topic, but can you tell me what that does for you? (Or to you?) quote: It has long seemed to me that "swingers" take objectification to a whole different level, by objectifying a person to a body part fetish, rather than the whole as an object. I don't quite understand this. My experience has been very few swingers (or people in general) have real fetishes, much less body part fetishes. As in the bdsm community there is a very wide range of people who consider themselves "swingers" and the rules and motivations vary greatly. Objectification is a part of it for some. However, my expereince has been that the "typical" swinger does not come close tot he level or intensity of objectification that I have seen from a "typical" bdsm-er that engages in objectification.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Objectification... (6/7/2006 6:07:06 AM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_354018/mpage_1/key_objectification/tm.htm#354120 Link to 18 discussions on humiliation/objectification Reposted: Here is my personal essay on humiliation and objectification: Part of it is BECAUSE of my academic background, I'm very smart and very well educated. I think a LOT, I work a LOT, I am a control freak, I have moderate OCD, I am the social planner for my group of friends. Being an object means you don't have to think, you don't have to stress, you just have to BE that object. You are there, purely and passively, for service and use. There's no need for you to interpret anything, no need for you to react, only simply to BE there. That's a pretty awesome state of being for me. Another part, the shown off part, is because I am an exhibitionist, I get a huge charge out of people's energy when they enjoy looking and playing with me. They are giving ME lots of attention, they want to touch ME, they want to use ME for pleasure, I can provide them with a release, with a good time, a good memory. The sexual usage part is just part of my universal sex fantasy life- it's just hot to be used, hot to be a hole to go in, do your thing and get out. I don't really know much about that other than what I've already stated. I can't tell you why it gets me so deep any more than I can tell you why bondage does. Something most subs and slaves can understand- it takes away choice. You don't have to think, you don't get to say no, you are there to always say YES, an object, a trophy doesn't get to say stop or get to dictate how it is used. I am somewhat materialistic in that I like to use my money and gifts to show people I care for them. It's a physical thing I can give to show I've been thinking of them and want to add to their lives. While I understand they don't NEED those things, it's a very powerful idea to me. So, to BE the object itself, to be given to someone else, has a distinct personal flavor to it. You'll notice- all of these reasons are about ME, what I enjoy, what I get out of it. The Owner will pass me around and use me in ways I don't necessarily enjoy directly. He will send me to people I don't have an affinity for, partly because he KNOWS I don't have an affinity for them. So I don't necessarily always love it, with anyone, anywhere. There are definitely circumstances in which I really hate it. While I love attention, I am actually quite uncomfortable ASKING for attention, I am very uneasy when people actually look at me and say "Now, I'm going to give you all this attention, just for you, just to enjoy, and there's nothing you can do about it." Part of it is because not too many people are actually really GOOD at giving me happy pleasure, part of it is that I've trained myself to adapt and become what the OTHER person needs for that session, which, if it's a good match, will also be what I need. And part of it is just my innate shyness and discomfort with being a focal point of attention. I don't know what to do with it, I feel very exposed. Perhaps a paradox for someone who LOVES being exposed, but that's why I call humiliation a "burning." So, the humiliation and objectification is a keen way for me to receive attention, which I love, while being passive about asking for it and simply being a pretty little butterfly that people are attracted to, rather than dealing with the harder ordeal for me of directly asking and directly being told to sit back and enjoy

BrattyBottomRN -> RE: Objectification... (6/7/2006 6:15:44 AM)
Awesome explanation, LA.... that makes TOTAL sense. I agree with a lot of the aspects with you on that. I'm a nurse.. I constantly am engaging in critical thinking, constantly my mind is working... and I'm a Bipolar (haha, figures don't it?) so like you, my mind is constantly running running running... I love headspace so much because it allows me to really be free... and that's the best word I can use. Free. I love being the center of attention too. Even negative attention, christ, I've always been like that. Little miss bratty LMAO... thanks again. :)

Jnj -> RE: Objectification... (6/7/2006 6:11:33 PM)
quote: quote: he makes me experience extreme emotions, and then ignores that I have them. It really makes me feel like I'm no longer a person. That is fascinating. I have not heard it described exactly that way before. I don't mean to drift off topic, but can you tell me what that does for you? (Or to you?) It can be a double edged sword for me. To steal someone else's term, I'm definitely an emotional masochist. I enjoy being made to feel bad (but I don't enjoy feeling bad). One of the things I find fufilling about it is that he makes these nasty emotions, and since he ignores them, it gives me an opportunity to confront myself about my anger, terror or jealousy, without someone else calling me to task on them. I'm free to experience extreme emotions without having to take responsibility for them. I know that is escapist and can tend to be immature, but it is also incredibily centering, calming, and eye opening. In those moments, I feel like I know who I truly am. On the other hand, I've noticed that the more we do it in scenes, the more I need to have my feelings acknowledged when it comes to bigger issues, like home buying or what job I do. I have become a bit pushy about my feelings and that's the kicker. Hope this made sense, and thanks for the question.

Sensualips -> RE: Objectification... (6/7/2006 6:29:06 PM)
Thanks for expanding. I am not sure I have ever talked with anyone who was an emotional masochist, knew it, and managed it what seemed to be a reasonable or healthy way. What you just described makes sense to me.

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