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kalthus -> RE: Culture and Attitude? (6/17/2012 3:15:00 AM)
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This post has been really interesting to follow because it has allowed people to give their own definition of what relationships in this lifestyle are about.
For me it breaks down to this.
Play partners - our relationship is purely based on mutually shared enjoyment of an activity. They like rope, I like rope. We can be friends, but I respect their differences and if they like something I don't, they can get that elsewhere.
LTR - this is more complex, because my aim is to shape my partner into something ideal for me. This can involve subtle control, correction, setting boundaries. I can't turn them into anything they don't want to be, but once we have reached agreement on what we are working to achieve, they have to hit the mark.
What should your sub call you? Well, whatever you agree they should call you. I would agree that anyone who uses terms like Sir or Master in a first e-mail should be avoided. They are imposing their view of a Dom on you, rather than accepting your view of yourself. My guess is that someone like that has a cat-like understanding of submission and will probably not work out in the long term, as they are searching for a template, not a person.
And lastly, I think that whatever the relationship, humour, compatibility and mutual attraction are really important. Who wants a play partner they can't talk to? Who wants to be stuck in a LTR that is only based on play?
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