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Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 7:25:45 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Since I've been to neither, in your experience which is better for making friends? There is an orientation and then play party on the first sat of every month, and they have coffee/munch style gatherings about once a month as well as far as I can tell that are open to new-comers.

I've not joined society of bastet for any gathering yet, but it's unlikely I can do both in the same month. (I am hoping I'll meet someone else who attends from my direction as well so I can have a commuting buddy for future events.)
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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 8:56:04 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


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Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I go to munches and they seem like a really good place to make friends. We eat and talk and get to know people in a casual, low-pressure environment. We don't have to concentrate on learning anything in particular because we aren't being orientated re: anything, so that makes it easier in my opinion.

NBMG

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 10:39:25 AM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds
Since I've been to neither, in your experience which is better for making friends?


I'd say that a munch is probably a better place to make friends. Munches are just casual get-togethers. They're typically held at a restaurant/diner, and the members usually wear vanilla clothing (no kinky clothing) and talk about vanilla things. So you're much more likely to meet a new friend.

On the other hand, an orientation and play party may be too much for a first timer. You will have the advantage of actually getting to see semi-naked people "playing", but there will be almost no chance of participating. Also, many/most people will already be in couples, so a loner may not get much attention/conversation.

I'd recommend going to a munch first. Meet the people in a non-threatening environment. Then when you actually go to a play party, you'll recognize a few friendly faces, and will have an easier time talking to people at the event.

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 12:55:18 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Well I'm not sure I'd consider myself a first timer persey, I've been to fetish events in another province, but never actually tried to get into a specific community before. Bastet seems to be the only regular group in my province now, so it's a different ballgame. I did figure the munch/coffee get-together would allow more time to actually talk and interact with folks.

Thanks for the advice NBMG and Roch!

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 5:40:57 PM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Are you sure they will let you attend a play party if you haven't been to a certain number of meetings first? Because that's not uncommon.

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 6:39:37 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

Since I've been to neither, in your experience which is better for making friends? There is an orientation and then play party on the first sat of every month, and they have coffee/munch style gatherings about once a month as well as far as I can tell that are open to new-comers.

I've not joined society of bastet for any gathering yet, but it's unlikely I can do both in the same month. (I am hoping I'll meet someone else who attends from my direction as well so I can have a commuting buddy for future events.)


I've had different experiences with different munch groups, and though I like them all we just don't have the gas money (averaging $60 per trip) to go to all of them. With one, we meet in restaurants and pass a few greetings, then sit down at our own table and pretty much ignore each other while we eat. Before leaving, we say a few more words. The play parties for this group really have more of a meet and greet than the munch...downstairs in the livingroom and kitchen lots of people gather to just talk. Upstairs is where the scening happens.

Of the others...it is really cool when we have a different room or at least shared a long table. More talking takes place, not just brief greetings.

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 7:50:06 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Making friends - the munch. Relaxed, better atmosphere for conversation. I've traveled a bit and I always end up swapping contact info with a handful of people when going to a munch for the first time. Then you get the inside scoop on the best parties and politics of the group when you chat with everyone on the phone. Later when you go to the parties, you end up going with your new friends and they introduce you around.

Singles at an orientation and/or play party generally seem more focused on finding suitable play partners or dates. Every group varies in the degree of social interaction at these things, some are cliquish, some aren't. Depends on the attitude of the host and whether the facilities support a socializing area in the dungeon. At the worst, where it is just play stations and no social area, newcomers can end up more a voyeur watching other people scene while the music and whip cracking drowns out conversation or in the inverse, where it it so quiet, you break the mood by saying anything to anyone. Much more fun to go with some people you already met at the munch.

In general the munches are pretty much universally set up to "meet, greet and make friends". Play parties are "like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna' get".

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/1/2012 8:58:09 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		~FR~
Our munch is really cool. We have a banquet room at the restaurant all to ourselves and they have the tables set up in a long stretch and around both corners of the room. We have a lot of people, anywhere between 25 and 50 in any given month, so we need a lot of seating. The restaurant is very comfortable and friendly and the waitress is the sweetest ever. Everyone yacks and talks up a storm with everyone else and they're really friendly and welcoming to newcomers. I guess I couldn't ask for a better munch.

Our play parties are equally nice. There are six or seven play stations, a large comfortable aftercare bed, play-friendly music and a restroom in the play area. There is a separate social area with comfy couches and chairs and a TV. There is also a potluck table in the social area. The party goes on for seven hours so everyone who goes gets a chance to play if they want to.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 6/1/2012 9:07:14 PM >

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/2/2012 3:12:34 AM   
ProlificNeeds


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Joined: 5/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Are you sure they will let you attend a play party if you haven't been to a certain number of meetings first? Because that's not uncommon.


Yes, they offer 5 dollar cover charge for orientation and specify the play party afterwards is free for those who attended orientation.


------------

Cynthia - The actual play space has a common room and snack bar where people socialize supposedly, away from the actual play spaces, so they may do the same, it's hard to know if the social space gets much use though until one actually goes to see.


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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/2/2012 11:47:49 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

there will be almost no chance of participating. Also, many/most people will already be in couples, so a loner may not get much attention/conversation.


Are you forgetting she has the advantage of being a young, attractive female? I got to play at my first party plus plenty of attention from couples, despite attending with my (now ex) husband.

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/2/2012 3:00:38 PM   
ProlificNeeds


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Are you forgetting she has the advantage of being a young, attractive female? I got to play at my first party plus plenty of attention from couples, despite attending with my (now ex) husband.



Bless you for calling me young and attractive!

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/2/2012 8:57:51 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

there will be almost no chance of participating. Also, many/most people will already be in couples, so a loner may not get much attention/conversation.


Are you forgetting she has the advantage of being a young, attractive female? I got to play at my first party plus plenty of attention from couples, despite attending with my (now ex) husband.


Good point. Attractive women always have an advantage, and almost never lack for attention.

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RE: Munch, or orientation? - 6/3/2012 4:40:34 AM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		Just echoing munches really - relaxed atmosphere, no concentrating on learning techniques or acting on protocols (though it depends on the orientation...)

I've made more friends at munches than at clubs or demos, but then occasionally someone has been impressed enough by my outfits to come and say hi lol

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