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MalcolmNathaniel -> I finally realized what is so awesome about living in Virginia. (6/1/2012 11:05:52 PM)
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A little background:
I used to live in the Allentown area in Pennsylvania. About 9 months ago I moved to Roanoke.
About 3 days ago it reached a hundred degrees (Fahrenheit) and yet I felt at peace but I couldn't quite put my finger on why. I wasn't feeling particularly great, work was stressful, and I have yet to put my canoe in the river this year*. So why I was chipper?
Sure the crime rate is lower here, but I have a concealed carry license so I was never afraid. It can't be the crime level. The cost of living is lower, but I've never cared about money; I am equally at home with rednecks as high society. I'm in the Bible belt so kinky fun is hard to cum by**.
So what is it that makes this start of Summer so much better than the ones I spent in Allentown?
Ice-cream trucks.
There aren't any.
They aren't parking two blocks from my house and blaring "Pop Goes The Weasel" from dusk til dawn. I don't wake up at an ungodly hour trying to decide which ammunition would be best to silence the damned things*** and go to sleep thinking the same thing.
BLISS!
*That's not a euphemism, I have a 17 foot Mad River Duck Hunter canoe and I love paddling down the river.
**See what I did there? I'm the first person ever to use the homonyms "cum" and "come" in a sexually suggestive manner. I am so clever!
***Actually, it turns out it doesn't matter what caliber**** you use: the trick is to follow them back to the nest and kill the queen with a flamethrower.
****For the pedants: Yes, I know that the caliber doesn't doesn't describe the round. I was using speech that most people would understand rather than jargon.
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