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Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 8:38:54 PM

theRose4U

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Local radio station today quoted a survey from Redbook that said 1 of 10 reasons that a spouse would cheat was that the husband dominates the wife. Definately got me thinking how this nilla survey would apply in a D/s world.
What do you think? Is one spouses being dominant more likely to cause infidelity?

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 8:41:08 PM

theRose4U

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In a nilla sense I think that it's the controlling abusive toolboxes that cause the spouse to stray more than a dominant in a D/s sense.

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 8:43:28 PM

OedipusRexIt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

In a nilla sense I think that it's the controlling abusive toolboxes that cause the spouse to stray more than a dominant in a D/s sense.

I imagine that's correct. Also, ideally in bdsm, each preference compliments the other, i.e. submissive desire to submit...

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 8:46:03 PM

Tikkiee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Local radio station today quoted a survey from Redbook that said 1 of 10 reasons that a spouse would cheat was that the husband dominates the wife. Definately got me thinking how this nilla survey would apply in a D/s world.
What do you think? Is one spouses being dominant more likely to cause infidelity?

I say no.

There is NO ONE thing that will cause a spouse to stray. However, there are many things that, when all piled together, will cause a spouse to stray.
I have always found, in my own experience, and from listening to others, that it takes a lot of 'little' things to tear down a relationship; but, when it finally falls apart, the parties most likely only focus on one big thing.

Geesh, I must be tired. Did that even make any sense?

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 8:48:04 PM

Estring

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I don't think it would. I think more importantly, just as in a vanilla relationship, if someone isn't getting what they need, they just might look for it elsewhere.

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 8:53:43 PM

juliaoceania

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Which spouse is straying.. the dominating one? It changes my answer... Nilla surveys think of dominating as a different thing than we do, and it isnt a good thing

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 8:56:38 PM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Local radio station today quoted a survey from Redbook that said 1 of 10 reasons that a spouse would cheat was that the husband dominates the wife. Definately got me thinking how this nilla survey would apply in a D/s world.
What do you think? Is one spouses being dominant more likely to cause infidelity?

Personally..... I think any type of domineering, micromanager, will eventually make their better half run away. Not many want to be henpecked.

- R

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 9:03:49 PM

akisha

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I think infidelity is cause be feelings of neglect, boredom and the need to feel like someone finds you attractive, witty and fun.

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 9:18:28 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Which spouse is straying.. the dominating one? It changes my answer... Nilla surveys think of dominating as a different thing than we do, and it isnt a good thing

.
This I would agree with. I think in their context it was the sub cheating.

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 9:21:33 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

I think infidelity is cause be feelings of neglect, boredom and the need to feel like someone finds you attractive, witty and fun.

I think that these were some of the other 10 reasons listed. I kind of heard #3 and spaced out thinking about the topic and forgot to write the others down. Maybe a good reason to scan the redbook on the way through the check stand.

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RE: Things that make you go hummm - 6/6/2006 10:17:18 PM

lisa1978

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I do not think there is a direct cause from that. People cheat for different reasons. Some are just bored, have low moral standards, are unhappy and other strong feelings happening to them. Also, a lot of people cheat when for all practical purposes their marriage is over and they just do not have the energy, money, or for their children do not leave and/or wanting to get caught or find their next spouse before filing the divorce papers.

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