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Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/6/2006 10:27:49 PM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
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Greetings All,
I pray this request finds all well and happy if not at least on the path to enlightenment and healing...lol.

kk my request is simply this. I am looking for high protocol information... I have many of the Gorean sites but I wish to ferret out Old Guard, Old World, New Kink, Funky Junk and any other titels out there with well thought out protocal for dinner, parties, and public functions. Please help me as I would like to educate not only myself but maybe give ideas to local groups about such training and aid in blending old with new and creating a delicious melting. Thank you in advance.

< Message edited by keme -- 6/6/2006 11:14:40 PM >

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The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 5:51:26 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Unless you're entering into a small, private group of friends, the protocol is pretty much the same as it is in any vanilla setting- same manners, same issues.

If you are entering into a small, private group of friends, you really just have to ask them as the private protocols can vary more than a Coldstone mixer.

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 7:26:14 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

quote:

Each community (Gay, Lesbian, Het, Transexuals, etc, etc) or area of
the country has a little different version of this but roughly here's
the meanings:

High Leather would be a very, very formal event, the equivalent of an
elegant ball or possibly meeting a dignitary, where formal gowns,
tuxedos, even gloves are worn, your very best of everything, on the
lines of royalty. Top hats, leather "caps.

Semi-Formal to Formal Leather are pretty much Leather corsets, leather
dresses, leather pants etc for females, or some sort of elegant out
fit, could be Satin, Velvet (finer fabrics), men in leather pants,
vests, kilts, shirts required, spit shined leather boots for men or
women, very nice kinky boots/shoes. Could be tuxedos. Caps could be
worn.

Fetish wear, too many options to list.

The above was posted by someone quite high on herself in a group I am involved in. Anyone else heard of such BS? I tried googling bits of it, but it does appear she just pulled it out of her ass. I would love it if someone could point me to where it came assuming it didn't truly come out of said ass.

Here is the issue I have found when doing S&M events with "protocol". As you can see from the long threads on what is D/s and such, every dominant has their own take on what should and should not be done. So making a set of rules can only take three forms

I am the leader and have created a cult and everyone follows whatever I say
A set of rules loose enough to provide a bare framework to fit everyone
Some mishmash of the above which makes nobody happy

There are other threads on this and while I do not normally recommend them there are a lot of interesting comments there.

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 7:48:05 AM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

... Anyone else heard of such BS?

Hi CD,

Not only have I heard of it, but I've seen "High" or "Leather" protocols practiced at various events. Gay leather events where the boys are in white t-shirts and denim or leather shorts, their black boots shined up to a high gloss, white socks peeking over the tops and rolled down... the Masters in chaps, jeans, vests, caps. The boys silent, attentive but un-obtrusive, fetching drinks, lighting cigars, serving on barely noticible cues...

The fancy formal dress occasions, Owners in tuxedos or formal gowns, the slaves in bowtie and g-strings, or teddies, garters, stockings and heels, or wearing nothing at all.

A "protocol" is nothing more than a set of established rules on "how to handle this particular situation." I don't know anyone who lives their home lives based on "High" protocols all the times, but I know many many people who have established protocols in their relationship. How the submissive greets their Dominant when returning home, how the Dominant likes their coffee prepared, their steak cooked, what desserts they enjoy, how the bathroom is to be cleaned and maintained, how the laundry is supposed to be done, etc. Those are all protocols.

If you want your submissive to address you as "Daddy" or "Crappy" or "Master" and to kneel at your feet when you go to a BDSM event... That is a protocol for that situation. If you want your sub to call you "Sir" or "Bob" or "Joe" around family members and to sit on the furniture so she does not out you or the nature of your relationship to non-kink aware family... that is a protocol for that situation.

Don't get hung up on the word "protocol". It just means "instructions for handling situation x".

YIK,
- Geoff

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 7:48:30 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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Protocol is pretty much what the group wants it to be. Libby and I occasionally get invited to "High Protocol" events and I don't think any two have been the same. Sometimes, it's behavior; sometimes, it's dress code; sometimes, it's just plain bizarre.

You really can't find much that's generalizable when people in the scene say "protocol." The best thing is to ask "just what are the rules here."

For most groups, you don't hear the word mentioned much and what protocol there is is the sort of thing your mom taught you. Be polite.

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 7:59:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
The above was posted by someone quite high on herself in a group I am involved in. Anyone else heard of such BS? I tried googling bits of it, but it does appear she just pulled it out of her ass. I would love it if someone could point me to where it came assuming it didn't truly come out of said ass.

That's dress code, which could be considered part of protocol is generally considered a different area from protocol.

There certainly are different levels of dress codes for different events. A formal fetish event is not where your geek pride t-shirt and tatted jeans are welcome.

A gay leather bar in general however, tatted jeans are awesome.

Many dyke bars don't allow open toed shoes, boots only. This is for the protection of the wearer as much as it is for the atmosphere that people want to create.

While there is no "set in stone" listing of what's considered "casual kink" and "formal kink" and while I'm not a purist who thinks leather or black are the only acceptable things in a kink setting- dress codes are useful and things I enjoy a lot.

Of course, it's always the responsibility of the host/ess to clearly list and explain whatever dress code they may want for THEIR event, especially if it's particular or outside the norm.

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 8:02:47 AM

PhoenixLM

Posts: 79
Joined: 5/12/2005
From: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: keme

Greetings All,
I pray this request finds all well and happy if not at least on the path to enlightenment and healing...lol.

kk my request is simply this. I am looking for high protocol information... I have many of the Gorean sites but I wish to ferret out Old Guard, Old World, New Kink, Funky Junk and any other titels out there with well thought out protocal for dinner, parties, and public functions. Please help me as I would like to educate not only myself but maybe give ideas to local groups about such training and aid in blending old with new and creating a delicious melting. Thank you in advance.

I can not speak for anyones experince but my own I was trained to a great extent on Emily Post abate from the manners of a child to an adult, with a few twist here and there...

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 3:58:07 PM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

Fast reply
Thank you all so much for your input. I know I was a head slave for a High Protocol party... it was wonderful to watch and be a part of.
LA yes I agree but many common curtesy attributes seem to be lacking. hehehe uncommon curtesy?...lol
CD Sir yes those are more high protocol dress but I was looking more for serve styles of a more format setting... I know it is out there for I have had a taste.
Geoff Sir I agree... the Gay Leather community has many wonderful protocols... my brother a Leather Boi taught me how to serve graciously from the shadows... I am hoping to find more knowledge to share with my circle and for my own desire to know.
Yes Phoenix Ma`am again it seems to be lacking and NOT just by the young people but how the old hands treat them... saw it time and time again this weekend at an event.
Thank you all again. and please if you are willing to share more I would love to learn.

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 6:47:28 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I only posted that to see if someone knew where that exact line of BS came from, not because I buy into it, which I do not.

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 6:55:37 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: keme

Greetings All,
I pray this request finds all well and happy if not at least on the path to enlightenment and healing...lol.

kk my request is simply this. I am looking for high protocol information... I have many of the Gorean sites but I wish to ferret out Old Guard, Old World, New Kink, Funky Junk and any other titels out there with well thought out protocal for dinner, parties, and public functions. Please help me as I would like to educate not only myself but maybe give ideas to local groups about such training and aid in blending old with new and creating a delicious melting. Thank you in advance.

Do a search on protocols and one on Old Guard on Jack Rinella's site. www.leatherviews.com, click the kinky info tab.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/7/2006 8:12:39 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
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if there is a High protocol function I would think thatfunction would state an unobvious protocols or rules they would want followed . I know for me when attending functions my girls are told first and foremost .. do not do anything that would bring disrespect too me .. you directly represent me at this function . so if someone looks down on you for your actions they are in fact looking down on me.
you should always enter the place with an air of respect for your Dom/Master ... you should see that he is fed before you. that his needs may be met before you get comfy. small things like that can set a huge impact on those who might look at you and your Master/Dom. those are just my general rules of thumb tho and should not be held as high law by any means.

I'm sure your Master/Dom will have a set ofrules he wishes youto follow for any function wether it be High Protocol or just the sunday Munch

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/8/2006 1:46:26 AM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I only posted that to see if someone knew where that exact line of BS came from, not because I buy into it, which I do not.

*smiles* Yes Crappy Sir

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

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RE: Seeking Knowledge on Protocol - 6/8/2006 1:51:44 AM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

Thank you so much feastie. I know at one of the events I attended there was a girl who was a trainer so not really considered girl at the event but I was so busy in the kitchen I didn't get to interact with her much and have since the hurricanes lost contact with many people. I appreciate the site and will look more into it after I am finally able to sleep.

Thank you Tamerofwild1s Sir I appreciate your addition. One day I pray I may have protocol requests laid on me by my Dominant until then I will continue to serve from the shadows and try not to step on my sister's and brother's toes while I do.

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

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