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Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:02:34 AM

peterK50

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Do Mistresses prefer submissives or slaves? Or does it really make no difference. What do you consider the difference?

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:10:11 AM

darq

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Thats one of those questions that can have as many answers as there are Mistresses ...

You shouldn't try to base your sexuality off what's going to make you the hottest commodity, though. Just be who you are and you'll find the person who's right for you.

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:13:30 AM

peterK50

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I'm not trying to make myself more "saleable" Ma'am. I'm a slave & that won't change. Was merely looking for some insight

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:25:58 AM

darkinshadows

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My personal point of view - you can be slavish - your personality can be slavish... but if you are unowned. You are not a slave.

The definition of a slave is owned property. (I am a word freak - so like I say, just my opinion) So it is up to the dominant who owns you eventually to assist in your classification.

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:28:58 AM

peterK50

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I agree Darkinshadows, hard to be a slave without an Owner. There seems to be catagorys of subs. Didn't mean to be confussing

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:31:42 AM

thetammyjo

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Each person will have her/his own definitions and some people use the terms interchangeably.

For me, submissive is a personality trait or a part-time role in a relationship where there is direct control and orders given.

A slave, then, is a full-time role that focuses on service that goes beyond the need for direct control or orders and into the active understanding of and catering to the owner.

Its very complex in my mind. In my definitions, being a slave is a much harder and a more rewarding role than being a submissive. I think being a slave requires self-discipline, self-motivation, and a focus on the owner that I would not expect from a submissive.

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:34:32 AM

darkinshadows

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Not confusing at all... always good to ask questions. I think you just need to show yourself and be yourself and hold ontot that truth. If you are an s-type, then just identify yourself as such. Submissives/slaves/kajiras are all unique to the relationship you are in - it is up to your dominant and yourself to sort out what is more improtant to you both. Don't get hung up on the definitions others would give you, just your own(and the person you in submission to) and concentrate on the act of submission and the services you do provide and just take it from there.

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:35:30 AM

newdombbw

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peter -

To my way of thinking, a submissive withholds large parts of themselves from me. A slave gives all of themselves into my safekeeping - trusting me to love and care for them. I can feel the difference when I'm with them. The slave seems to melt into me and reform as they come out of subspace, while the submissive retains their "self" and identity.

Just my own opinion ......

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:40:40 AM

peterK50

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yes Ma'am. I like that distinction. I think an Owner feels a greater sense of responisbilty to a slave as they are more vulnerable?

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 8:56:32 AM

darkinshadows

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I am not a slave. Simple choice that I choose not to be something that to me, doesn't exist.

But does that make me less a person? I am equally as vunerable as someone who decribes themself as a slave. My identity is all that the Dominant/Master I submit to desires. I have no self. My self is Him.

Just another pov.

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 9:00:55 AM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

being a slave requires self-discipline, self-motivation, and a focus on the owner

Sounds like a job description. What is there besides that?

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 11:44:03 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

being a slave requires self-discipline, self-motivation, and a focus on the owner

Sounds like a job description. What is there besides that?

I think it is a job in a very real sense.

If you met Fox he'd tell you it was hard work but very rewarding work. Why is it rewarding for him? Because he and I have similar goals and similar beliefs about Ds and owner-slave relationships.

Very few people could be my slave and I think that if more people understood how I use the word myself their romantic notions would fade away when it came to me as well. The problem is that to truly understand what I mean requires effort and time with me, learning from me and seeing how my house works.

I happen to be a nice woman but that is separate from the definition I have for "slave" -- I'm sure I'm heavily influenced by my study of historical slavery in this matter too though I have no interest personally in non-consensual or institutional slavery.

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 2:18:40 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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I prefer someone who is submissive to me with whom I share good conversations, great chemistry, and a similar outlook for the future. I suppose the more submissive the better which means leaning toward slavery is what I'd prefer. M

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RE: Sub or slave? - 6/7/2006 3:52:21 PM

composer83

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i would have to say, since i am officially 'unowned' but have a play partner, to her i am most definately a sub. & to touch on some points made earlier, i do withhold parts of myself from her.....since i dont see any long term potential, i will alway be, a sub....but the ultimate goal here is to find a Domme with whom we are both fully compatable....& to eventually be able to trust & relenquish all parts of myself to Her....to find myself.....a slave.....

~m

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