being a good master/dom (Full Version)

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kinkyjuggalo445 -> being a good master/dom (6/18/2012 6:50:42 PM)

I know im a little bit sadistic and the dominant type. Since i am new to this world and way of life i am curious on one is it wrong to be a sadistic dom/master? And can i get a few pointers on being a good dom and the general things that a dom should know and do.

The saidistic part of me is into spankings, whippings, bondage, and i have a few fantasies that go withing the same roles. If u need more information just ask im an open book



OsideGirl -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/18/2012 7:15:56 PM)

Nothing wrong with being a sadistic Dominant.

There are some great books out there: The Loving Dominant and Screw the Roses.

I would also recommend getting out into your local community and finding yourself a mentor.

Keep in mind that many of the toys we play with can cause damage and require learning and practice. So, before you decide to do something, learn how to do it safely.



DarkSteven -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/18/2012 7:16:15 PM)

You're asking if it's wrong to want to tie, spank, and whip? Do you realize that that's like walking into a Catholic church and asking if Communion is all right? Tying, spanking, and whipping is what we DO! We're perverts!!!!

With that out of the way, I'll tell you MY take on being a good Dom. (Please note that a Master is a rare bird and a newbie calling himself one will just get laughed at. So don't do that.)

A Dom thrives on control. Control of himself. Control of his sub.
A Dom knows limitations. He will not try to control what's not his. That means he will not treat an unowned sub like he has any claim to her, and he certainly will not try that with a sub owned by another.
A Dom is bigger than himself. He will consider what is best for himself, his submissive, and others as well.

That should kick things off. Now watch others come and argue with me or agree with me, as is their inclination. Hopefully in the discussion, you;ll get a sense of things.



Endivius -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/18/2012 7:46:12 PM)

I niether agree with or argue with the bob villa look alike guy [:D]

I will say that reading some books and getting into the local scene to meet some people in real life, and getting some real life experience as OG reccomended will be invaluable to you. As a sadist, I can tell you that the journey to finding your truest self will be hard and long, but ultimately rewarding for you and that special someone you end up with. There is a sticky in the FAQ forum with a list of books. Read as many as you can, take from them what you will, mold and use it to your advantage and style. Most importantly, remember that it's a two way street and you gotta give before you can take. Good luck.



ARIES83 -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/19/2012 1:02:29 AM)

My advice is keep reading, such a wealth of information
here (in past threads) but also beware, theres a few things
In there, once you have read them, can't be unread, haha...
Seriously.

Also darksteve and endivius have my thumbs up.

-ARIES



myotherself -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/19/2012 12:50:47 PM)

It took me 8 years to find a decent guy who was also a sadistic dominant.

Trust me, it's a good thing! [:D]



areallivehuman -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/19/2012 2:54:52 PM)

To be a dominant man, first be a man. To be a good dominant, first be a good man. Educate yourself, always seek to learn, and grow. Follow your instinct, use common sense.



kalikshama -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/19/2012 3:37:25 PM)

quote:

I would also recommend getting out into your local community and finding yourself a mentor.


kinkyjuggalo - Try looking on fetlife.com for events and groups near you.

I also recommend The Loving Dominant and Screw the Roses. Here's a link to a booklist: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm



kinkyjuggalo445 -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/19/2012 4:04:20 PM)

thank you all so much now to start my journey :)



kalikshama -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/19/2012 6:11:45 PM)

[image]http://i.qkme.me/36a8js.jpg[/image]



JeffBC -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/20/2012 9:54:39 AM)

I'll toss in my 2c.

Decide what you mean by "dom/master". Obviously, you are into the kinky sex part. Generally I think of that as a top. But do you also want something else? If so, can you describe it? What's happening when sex isn't happening?



AVegasMaster -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/20/2012 12:20:16 PM)

There is nothing wrong with being sadistic. It's on my top five list of favorite things.



Rayne00 -> RE: being a good master/dom (6/20/2012 12:44:13 PM)

You can be a sadistic dom. You can be a dom without being sadistic. You can also be sadistic without being a dom. Welcome to the wonderful world of kink!

Now read some books and get out there and meet people!



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