Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (Full Version)

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Aurilia -> Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (6/20/2012 12:21:24 PM)

Hi everyone,

I brand new here and I'm looking for someone who can teach me about the D/s lifestyle and what I can do/learn to become a wonderful sub. I am aware that I sound fairly naive, please put that down to my inexperience rather than ignorance.

At the moment I have a boyfriend, he is sexually dominant and has had a slave and subs in the past. Since meeting him I have begun to explore my submissive self and give in to my submissive desires, desires that I had dismissed in the past. Although he sees himself as a Dom, he has said that he doesn't want a D/s relationship with me; the thing is, he already does - unofficially of course. I serve him in any way I can to make his life easier: making appointments for him, cooking, cleaning, dressing to please him, taking off his shoes and socks then massaging his feet, and so many other little things that come naturally to me.

Please let me know if you're interested in passing on your wisdom to this inexperienced little sub :)



Hillwilliam -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (6/20/2012 12:32:14 PM)

Ask him how he likes it. He is the only one that matters.




dublinemma -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (6/20/2012 12:37:44 PM)

I am by no means even close to the experience levels of some people here so I don't think I can really teach you anything. However, your post confused me a bit. You say that your boyfriend has stated that he doesn't want a d/s relationship so are you planning on being a sub for somebody else or do you just want to learn more in general... You mentioned he already has an unofficial relationship like this with you, either he wants to or he doesn't, are you hoping to trick him into one in some way? Basically if you want to pursue this with your boyfriend then I would suggest actually discussing it with him and seeing if he is on board before getting ahead of yourself...



JeffBC -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (6/20/2012 3:29:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma
I am by no means even close to the experience levels of some people here so I don't think I can really teach you anything. However, your post confused me a bit. You say that your boyfriend has stated that he doesn't want a d/s relationship so are you planning on being a sub for somebody else or do you just want to learn more in general... You mentioned he already has an unofficial relationship like this with you, either he wants to or he doesn't, are you hoping to trick him into one in some way? Basically if you want to pursue this with your boyfriend then I would suggest actually discussing it with him and seeing if he is on board before getting ahead of yourself...

yeah well... for all your "lack of experience" your thoughts mirror mine.



OsideGirl -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (6/20/2012 4:06:50 PM)

I agree with the people above.

But, I'm also going to add that mentor should be someone you know in real life. Words on a screen aren't going to show you a dynamic, it's only going to show you what they think their dynamic is.



banditexposed -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (7/3/2012 7:06:47 PM)

being a sub simply means that you take care of your Dom. doesn't matter what you call it. sounds to me like you are doing for him. just talk. explain your feelings and ask him what his are. Communication is the core of a good relationship, vanilla or D/s.
if he takes care of you and you take care of him, then you fine. relax. enjoy what you do for him. and sweat terminology.



DesFIP -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (7/3/2012 7:14:29 PM)

Ask him why he thinks he can't be both your lover and your dominant. Because as long as he is in conflict about being both, there will be trouble. One day he'll want you to do stuff for him and other times he'll be angry when you do the same thing. You must solve this first.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (7/3/2012 7:21:36 PM)

Why doesnt he want a D/s relationship with you? Forcing him into one, or assuming he really does want one but wont say is usually a bad idea. Maybe he has reasons for not wanting you as a submissive. Maybe he doesnt see you that way. Before you go about molding yourself into something, find out why he has stated he doesnt want this with you. You might find a few important things out, and spare yourself ruining what is a good thing by making yourself something he might NOT want.



JanahX -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (7/3/2012 8:57:50 PM)

I dont get it - it sounds like youre doing it regardless of what he says. Hes sexually dominant - What else do you need? Some kind of certificate saying "We are officially in a D/s relationship"?
I mean are you looking to go to bdsm public events together or something? - if thats the case I can understand where you want to have some kind of established thing going on.

What kind of wisdom are you looking for? I dont understand what you are needing here.



GreedyTop -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (7/3/2012 10:03:01 PM)

DV!!!! *tacklehugs*



ProlificNeeds -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (7/4/2012 7:02:46 AM)

FR~

Be a wonderful person, and the rest takes care of itself.



RemoteUser -> RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher (7/4/2012 1:27:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds
FR~

Be a wonderful person, and the rest takes care of itself.


Some people don't know how. They have a picture in their head and they try to become it, or make others fit it.

Heck, some days I don't feel wonderful. But the little things bring me round. *looks at the calendar*



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