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How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/21/2012 7:47:36 PM   
PiratesAhoy


Posts: 19
Joined: 3/24/2012
Status: offline 		Hi everyone!

Lately I've had this problem with wanting to settle with a Daddy Dom. Almost any Daddy. I would like to think that I would prevent myself from diving into a bad situation, but for some reason my little has been crying out for comfort. And self soothing just doesn't seem to cut it like it used to.

I need to find someone that is right for me, but I want to have a Daddy NOW!!! ....it's a really unrealistic request to be honest, and I know it. But when I'm little, and upset I'm very irrational.

Is there any way that I can somehow cool down this desire, or just any advice?

Thanks everyone!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/21/2012 7:50:43 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		Masterbate till you return to sanity?

Read a book?

Go for a jog?

Learn how to knit?

Build a- oh you get the picture.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to PiratesAhoy)
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RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/21/2012 7:57:19 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		(From a Dom, not a sub, but advice is free and worth what you pay for it.)

Redirection is probably your best friend. No little wants to be without a Daddy (and vice versa, I might add, from personal experience...) When your little comes out she's going to be upset, stubborn, cross, and she needs soothing. Since you have to soothe yourself, it might behoove you to indulge in other activities your little enjoys.

Think of it like this. Daddy comes home from work, he has a meeting to attend, your little is needy. If he has to, Daddy will redirect you to another place so that you are preoccupied until he returns. Maybe he wants a picture for the fridge. Perhaps he wants you to pick out something pretty to wear for tomorrow, so you can look nice for him and for you. These little tasks are redirection, and they work.

What else do you like to do as a little? I know, nothing is going to be Daddy, but then, nothing else ever is. A little self indulgence or pacification is perfectly fine and safe. One little I knew wrote in her journal, little stories about her day for Daddy that let her vent. I don't know if that will work for you. Hugs for your little. I know it's not easy.


_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/21/2012 8:39:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Take a cold shower????

I have never really had this problem. Sure I've had casual sex with men in the past but it was nothing serious. For a real loving relationship I waited...and waited and waited. I was in no rush.

Maybe get a hobby? Get a job if you don't have one? Take classes? Hang out with your friends more? Basically, get on with your life????

See a therapist and find out what your problem is and why you feel you need someone, anyone at all???



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 6/21/2012 8:40:28 PM >

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/22/2012 4:13:24 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Funny. I've known other littles who feel the same. I guess children are naturally less patient than adults.

I'd recommend finding a littles group. There you can color, play with dolls, etc., around other littles and find a sense of community while you spend some time looking for your Daddy. Fetlife has littles groups - see if any of them are in NC.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/22/2012 4:16:44 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Great advice here:


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Funny. I've known other littles who feel the same. I guess children are naturally less patient than adults.

I'd recommend finding a littles group. There you can color, play with dolls, etc., around other littles and find a sense of community while you spend some time looking for your Daddy. Fetlife has littles groups - see if any of them are in NC.


Also, please remind yourself that having the *right* Daddy is great. Having the wrong Daddy could be a living nightmare.

_____________________________



(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/22/2012 12:43:06 PM   
Looking4MySir


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline 		Never, never settle!!! I know it can be trying when looking for what one wants and needs....I am in the same situation and am getting frustrated. But in the long run it will be worth it when I find Him, as it will be when you find what you are looking for!

Good luck!

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/22/2012 1:14:54 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PiratesAhoy

Hi everyone!

Lately I've had this problem with wanting to settle with a Daddy Dom. Almost any Daddy. I would like to think that I would prevent myself from diving into a bad situation, but for some reason my little has been crying out for comfort. And self soothing just doesn't seem to cut it like it used to.

I need to find someone that is right for me, but I want to have a Daddy NOW!!! ....it's a really unrealistic request to be honest, and I know it. But when I'm little, and upset I'm very irrational.

Is there any way that I can somehow cool down this desire, or just any advice?

Thanks everyone!


From my experience, when I am feeling especially unstable, then I need to work on the adult part of me getting to a stable place. Little you will feel safer if big you is handling things better. That desperate need for a daddy is in part the need for someone to take care of you.

You have to keep in mind that you already have someone have someone who is very capable of taking care of you: You!

Normal self care: eating well (balanced diet, staying hydrated), getting enough sleep... .
Is there stuff going on in your life right now that is especially stressful?

When you need to be nurtured, remember that it is okay and good to nurture yourself.




_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to PiratesAhoy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/22/2012 4:37:14 PM   
evesgrden


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline 		Have you considered just playing? Why not play with someone you know who is dominant and will top you in a Daddy manner? Get those needs met without clouding it all with relationship issues.

If you're really really desperate for daddy-comfort to the point you'll jeopardize your emotional health by settling, see a therapist... and I'm not be facetious. If your need is so great that you'll put yourself at risk, then that need has to addressed. Choices made through desperation will cause more harm than good.

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/22/2012 8:53:01 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I personally don't understand the negativity regarding the term settling. I never walked into a relationship expecting to find perfection before engaging in sex or comfort. What I did expect is enjoying whom ever I was with for how ever long that lasted, if I found that person was otherwise compatible with me. If it didn't work out over time, well it just didn't, in the meantime I may have had a very enjoyable time with that man which I would never disregard simply because he was not "IT". I guess I don't believe in finding a prince.
When I need a daddy I normally curl up inside myself sometimes with a thumb between my lips until that need runs its course. But if I found someone who may not have met all my ideals but was a reasonable facsimile I would go for it. Phht on waiting for mr right. As long as it is not mr wrong, it is still worth experiencing life and not waiting on a shelf in hope.


You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need


< Message edited by Missokyst -- 6/22/2012 8:56:45 PM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to PiratesAhoy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/22/2012 9:17:06 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PiratesAhoy
Is there any way that I can somehow cool down this desire, or just any advice?

I know it's really hard to be a little without a Daddy, I've been there before. I'm not sure how to cool the desire other than redirecting your attention to other things that your little loves, like DarkSteven said. That's what I'd recommend too. Also, and this is really good to know, go toFetlife, They actually have great masses of Daddy/girl groups and a considerable number of them that are aimed toward ABDL specifically. If you're not on Fet yet, I'd get yourself a profile on there and start searching for groups. I'm sure you'll find some, as they have groups for just about every fetish and/or interest out there and then some. They even have one called Daddy - lil girl/baby girl Personals, a personals group just for Daddies & littles. It's very popular.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


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RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/23/2012 7:37:15 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Is there any way that I can somehow cool down this desire, or just any advice?


Charge headlong into a few dozen relationships, get mangled repeatedly, hurt others and get hurt in return, walk through emotional pain like you can't imagine, change and grow as a person as a result, mature, learn some self restraint and once and for all that it's not smart to repetitively stick ones penis in a sausage grinder.

Yeah, that's about how it worked for me.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/23/2012 7:56:31 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Is there any way that I can somehow cool down this desire, or just any advice?


In addition to the great advice already given, consider yoga, meditation, and/or exhausting yourself with cardiovascular activity.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to PiratesAhoy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/25/2012 11:29:45 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Looking4MySir

Never, never settle!!! I know it can be trying when looking for what one wants and needs....I am in the same situation and am getting frustrated. But in the long run it will be worth it when I find Him, as it will be when you find what you are looking for!

Good luck!


Never, ever, settle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PiratesAhoy
I need to find someone that is right for me, but I want to have a Daddy NOW!!! ....it's a really unrealistic request to be honest, and I know it.


See? There is nothing I need say to explain it, you already know. But I will add this: If you are with "someone, anyone, please oh please oh please!" when Mr. Right says "Hi!", he is not going to want you, because of nastiness implicit with breakups and cheating and lying and all kinda stuff like that there. He will (justly) assume if you will do it to your soon to be Ex, you will do it to him just as fast. And for no more reason.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to Looking4MySir)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How To Stop Yourself From Wanting To Settle - 6/26/2012 11:40:18 AM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		What about an Uncle?

Before I found Daddy I had a great Uncle, still do in fact...

Basically he was a friend of mine, I had known him and his babygirl for a long while and basically when my little -needed- that daddy figure I'd go to my Uncles for playdates...

He had several babygirls he looked after and often all of us would visit at once for a littles party, pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, story times, colouring etc...

Even if it was just one of us visiting we had one on one Uncle/niece time :)

my little is non sexual so their was never any sex involved but it was a great way to have my little looked after till my Daddy came and took me on

(My current Owner is twiggles first real "Daddy", I have had twiggle over 10 years)

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 15
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