Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (Full Version)

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Lote -> Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/22/2012 9:40:09 PM)

I do hope that there's not already a thread for this topic, I skimmed over the form and didn't see anything that I thought fit. If there already is a thread for this then please let me know and I will delete this with sincere apologies.

Me and my partner are both switches, however he leans more towards the submissive side, and I'm happy to be the dominate one. We are both still fairly new at this sort of thing, not just with each other but in general. I've had a little of experience with dom/subs next to his none, and things have been working out fair enough so far.

However I have been finding a lot more lately that I'm running out of 'tricks' if that makes sense. I'm getting bored with myself having to use the same material in our play and I want to keep it a little more fresh and exciting, and a little less 'routine'. I hope that makes sense. Oh, and to clarify, we are both into control/rape play/dom/sub stuff currently. It's what we play around with most.

I just keep finding myself using the same lines and stuff over and over. I've talked to him about it and he doesn't really mind, but I still thought it might be worth looking into. Does anyone have any advice or could anyone point me to any resources that I could use for good new material to use in our play?

Hope this post makes sense. I'll do my best to clarify on anything if needed. And thank you ahead of time for any help/guidance.




LadyPact -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/22/2012 9:58:32 PM)

Ideas are all around you. If you are running out of your own material, why not read some erotica? You might even find something in the Creative Writing section here that would give you new ideas for role play or different phrases to use. Claudia Varrin's books are excellent for this.

If that doesn't do the trick, why not branch out into different kinds of play? There is always impact, fire, medical, electrical........ The list is practically endless. Your every day items that you can use to kinky purposes that you find around the house make for an interesting scavenger hunt. See how you feel about scenes that include begging, humiliation, or foot worship.

Have a look at a BDSM checklist and see what you both might be interested in trying. (The interest list here on profiles works just as well as a starting point.) I'm sure you will both find something that is new to you that sounds exciting.

Good luck and have tons of fun.




Endivius -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/23/2012 3:35:10 AM)

My favorite way to be creative is to think.




Kana -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/23/2012 7:28:01 AM)

Two words-surgical stapler.




Lote -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/23/2012 8:44:59 AM)

Thank you very much everyone for the ideas so far everyone, especially you, LadyPact. I think I'll try some of these tips, hopefully despite our busy schedules we'll both have some time to do these things.




ResidentSadist -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/23/2012 12:45:08 PM)

As LadyPact mentioned, there is a wealth of new ideas to be found in erotica. Even autobiographies and studies on BDSM are loaded with different styles, methods and good material for new ideas.

Good luck.




OsideGirl -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/23/2012 1:23:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Two words-surgical stapler.


Yow!!!!




Kana -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/23/2012 4:46:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Two words-surgical stapler.


Yow!!!!



It won't get stale, I promise that :-)




littlewonder -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/23/2012 7:43:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Two words-surgical stapler.


Yow!!!!



More like pleasepleasenooooo!! Not there!!! PLEASE!!!! <whine, cry, screams and then more screams> [:D]




Focus50 -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/24/2012 3:36:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lote

I do hope that there's not already a thread for this topic, I skimmed over the form and didn't see anything that I thought fit. If there already is a thread for this then please let me know and I will delete this with sincere apologies.

Me and my partner are both switches, however he leans more towards the submissive side, and I'm happy to be the dominate one. We are both still fairly new at this sort of thing, not just with each other but in general. I've had a little of experience with dom/subs next to his none, and things have been working out fair enough so far.

However I have been finding a lot more lately that I'm running out of 'tricks' if that makes sense. I'm getting bored with myself having to use the same material in our play and I want to keep it a little more fresh and exciting, and a little less 'routine'. I hope that makes sense. Oh, and to clarify, we are both into control/rape play/dom/sub stuff currently. It's what we play around with most.

I just keep finding myself using the same lines and stuff over and over. I've talked to him about it and he doesn't really mind, but I still thought it might be worth looking into. Does anyone have any advice or could anyone point me to any resources that I could use for good new material to use in our play?

Hope this post makes sense. I'll do my best to clarify on anything if needed. And thank you ahead of time for any help/guidance.


Since I don't know either of you, I'm gonna throw out one of my little prejudices born of lifetime/lifestyle experience and observation for you to mull over.... That is, that every switch *I'VE* ever known would, if they had to choose, prefer to submit than dominate. And that the domination side is more an available alternative to switches, rather than a first preference.

Looking over your post, I'm gonna assume your switch partner (submitting) is doing it rather easier whereas you're finding that too much dominating is draining, as it inevitably is for switches. Now, sacrificing your needs to please one's partner is always honourable, but has a limited life span.

Since you are in a relationship together, step 1 is communication. You need to be honest about how you're a switch, and NOT a Domme. And assuming neither of you want to go outside the relationship, step 2 would be him owning up to being a switch, and NOT a submissive.

To be honest, keeping it fresh is gonna be tough if neither of you is a full-on control-freak style of Dominant, such as yours truly. I have and enforce rules with my girl; that our D/s is not just play/kink orientated. It matters how she looks, speaks, presents and responds to me in an everyday sense. Any switch is gonna find that hard to impossible to monitor/enforce 24/7 because it's just not how you're wired (to be in control).

What's left for you amounts to role-play, and so you've hit the wall. Composing a bulleted list of new kinks to try is not a long-term fix, it's just a fix. Personally, I think you're not in a happy mental place because you feel trapped being in charge for too long. You do at least have the most important component for a relationship - each other. Another of my prejudices is that subs can be quite selfish when in a happy submissive state - which is likely where your partner is. The relationship needs to be about BOTH your needs - start with a good ol' heart to heart conversation.

Focus.




Kana -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (6/24/2012 7:27:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Two words-surgical stapler.


Yow!!!!



More like pleasepleasenooooo!! Not there!!! PLEASE!!!! <whine, cry, screams and then more screams> [:D]

Gawd, I love pillow talk :-)




Lote -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (8/18/2012 5:24:23 PM)

Edit: Opps, this was meant to be a private message, not a bump, my apologizes!

Greetings Focus50,

Hey there, I wanted to thank you for your response to my post from months back! (I just got to reading it.) While this is many months overdue, I wanted to let you know that I appreciated what you said and that you took the time to post it! What you said made a lot of sense, it is nice getting in depth feedback from someone with as much experience as yourself.

Have a great day!

-Lote




SimplyMichael -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (8/18/2012 5:34:35 PM)

Pry into his fears, explore your limits, play past yellow and safeword out, orfer him to violate you, turn convention on its head.

Or do a bit of blood play, carve a sacred symbol on her back and as the blood runs down her ass, use it for lube...




IrishMist -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (8/18/2012 5:41:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Two words-surgical stapler.

that's hot lol




littlewonder -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (8/18/2012 7:26:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lote

I do hope that there's not already a thread for this topic, I skimmed over the form and didn't see anything that I thought fit. If there already is a thread for this then please let me know and I will delete this with sincere apologies.

Me and my partner are both switches, however he leans more towards the submissive side, and I'm happy to be the dominate one. We are both still fairly new at this sort of thing, not just with each other but in general. I've had a little of experience with dom/subs next to his none, and things have been working out fair enough so far.

However I have been finding a lot more lately that I'm running out of 'tricks' if that makes sense. I'm getting bored with myself having to use the same material in our play and I want to keep it a little more fresh and exciting, and a little less 'routine'. I hope that makes sense. Oh, and to clarify, we are both into control/rape play/dom/sub stuff currently. It's what we play around with most.

I just keep finding myself using the same lines and stuff over and over. I've talked to him about it and he doesn't really mind, but I still thought it might be worth looking into. Does anyone have any advice or could anyone point me to any resources that I could use for good new material to use in our play?

Hope this post makes sense. I'll do my best to clarify on anything if needed. And thank you ahead of time for any help/guidance.

Kana sez, "Watch more porn. Lots"




kalikshama -> RE: Same ol' tricks getting stale, advice on new stuff to keep from getting too routine or old? (8/19/2012 6:17:12 AM)

quote:

Hey there, I wanted to thank you for your response to my post from months back! (I just got to reading it.)


I'm always curious when people start threads asking for advice and then either never come back or come back months later. What's up with that?




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