Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (Full Version)

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Fireworksfor3 -> Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 3:38:36 AM)

I've been with my girlfriend since she was 16, she was very inexperienced before I met her and she is quite often the shyest person I know. Recently she has been telling me about her fantasy of being dominated and trained to please a woman by another woman whilst I am forced to watch. How would one go about getting something like this happening? What advice do you have for couples like us? Any tips, pointers or things we should know? We're looking at trying to organize something like this in the next month or so and we'd love some advice from more seasoned members.



crazyml -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 3:52:57 AM)

Hello there,

To an extent it kind of depends on what on-going relationship you're after... if you just want a crazy, hot, one-off session with a woman, I'm sure you could find a suitable Escort who'd be happy playing with a couple.

If you're after something longer term, then don't expect the right person to fall into your lap in the next couple of days (she might of course, but it can take a lot longer). If you want a relationship, then put a little more info in your profile, google for local fetish/kink events in your area and enjoy making friends and discovering the wacky world of kink!



Fireworksfor3 -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 3:58:40 AM)

Well, we would like to try it once to see if she'll actually enjoy it.

We never really thought of paying someone and my girlfriend isn't too fond of prostitution.

Thanks for the response, we are really new to this and could use all the help we can get. ^_^



crazyml -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 4:10:32 AM)

I can understand your g/f's qualms about hiring an escort, but... imagine how a dominant bi woman would feel about a proposition that is along the lines of "We'd like to fool around with you to see if we like it...", you could find that it's a tough sell.

Again... not saying it's impossible, but you could be looking for a while.



ClassIsInSession -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 4:16:43 AM)

There are professional Dominants who are not "escorts" and who don't engage in sex, but still offer quite a lot..and they can be found in many metro areas. That aside, I would suggest you actually make some friends, go to local munches, before just trying to have a sexual encounter.



DarkSteven -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 5:05:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

I would suggest you actually make some friends, go to local munches, before just trying to have a sexual encounter.


Seconded. What woman would be crazy enough to get naked with two strangers? But if you go to parties and see people playing, you might be able to get a woman interested in topping your wife while you watch.



MissAsylum -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 6:00:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I can understand your g/f's qualms about hiring an escort, but... imagine how a dominant bi woman would feel about a proposition that is along the lines of "We'd like to fool around with you to see if we like it...", you could find that it's a tough sell.

Again... not saying it's impossible, but you could be looking for a while.


I can vouch for the bold text. I've been asked to be involved in something like this (sans the older part) many times, and often under the same premise, word for word.

It definitely rubs the wrong way to be thought of in that manner by two perfect strangers. Of course there will be a woman who fits this bill out there...somewhere, but what are your true odds of this happening with somebody who....

- you find attractive.
- your girlfriend finds attractive.
- finds both of you attractive.
- is willing to be "test subject"- so to speak.
- is in a situation that allows her to participate.
- is healthy (mentally and physically)
- isn't an escort

....that doesn't have a pre-existing relationship with either one of you?


So please, take the advice of ClassIsInSession and DarkSteven of getting to know people first before trying to jump the gun into a purely sexual relationship with so many factors to consider,



Fireworksfor3 -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 7:07:11 AM)

We aren't naive enough to believe it will be easy to find someone who has the same desires as us, nor do we think it would be as easy as an email, a phone call and a hotel room. We're more interested in learning about the process itself so we can avoid potential missteps. I'm sure lots of other people are in a similar boat, we did consider trying to find out about some sort of event we could attend but that would make it a lot harder to have a proper dialog to ensure everything will be safe, sane and planned to a certain extent.

I'm not sure we're into anything heavy enough to require a professional dominatrix, aside from maybe rope-binding skills. My GF wants to be taken by a dominant woman and made to please her and be pleased by her, she likes ropes, light spanking, a little bit of pain but nothing extreme. We both see this sought of thing as a growing process of sorts, we're not bad people or out to hurt anyone or cause trouble. We just don't know enough yet to avoid scaring people off or attracting the wrong element.

Thank you so much for all your advice.

Hopefully, we'll find the right pool to dip our toes in and enjoy the water.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 7:41:13 AM)

Here is what you do: MAKE FRIENDS.

There ya go, hope that helped.



LaTigresse -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 8:04:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

I would suggest you actually make some friends, go to local munches, before just trying to have a sexual encounter.


Seconded. What woman would be crazy enough to get naked with two strangers? But if you go to parties and see people playing, you might be able to get a woman interested in topping your wife while you watch.



Thirded.

Dear OP, if some random guy approached me on the net, asking for this. I wouldn't even bother replying. However!!!!!!!!!!! If I already knew the couple, liked both of them, found her......interesting......there is a very good chance it would happen.

So yeah, get involved locally and you've got a pretty good chance of it happened. IF you are decent looking, not crazy, personable, etc etc etc........sorts.



SadisticMs2 -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 8:06:10 AM)

A good prodomme (one who really is a professional) will sit down with you and discuss what you want to happen during the scene and gear the level of play to your comfort zone.

And frankly - so will a good professional prostitute. You keep mentioning that you want your girlfriend to "please" the Domme...I'm guessing you mean sexually because I don't think you've yet figured out that one could actually PLEASE a dominant without it being sexual. There are a lot of prostitutes out there who will engage in light BD AND sex...you just have to do your research.

All in all - what you're looking for is a service...and all you're offering is one night where a Domme gets to service you and your girlfriend to your specifications. Why would you be so adverse to compensating financially when that's all you're offering?


I'm not a pro. I'm a lifestyle domme - and I get approached all the time to participate in scenarios not unlike this. Frankly, the answer is always going to be no because I'm not interested in servicing anyone, especially someone I barely know.



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 8:16:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Fireworksfor3

I'm not sure we're into anything heavy enough to require a professional dominatrix, aside from maybe rope-binding skills. My GF wants to be taken by a dominant woman and made to please her and be pleased by her, she likes ropes, light spanking, a little bit of pain but nothing extreme. We both see this sought of thing as a growing process of sorts, we're not bad people or out to hurt anyone or cause trouble. We just don't know enough yet to avoid scaring people off or attracting the wrong element.



It's not that you're asking for something heavy that is causing people to suggest a pro. It's just that most people out there aren't particularly interested in what you are asking for - that is, acting out a specific fantasy for a couple in the way they want it, just so you can see if you like it or not. A professional on the other hand does this for a living and might be more open to it. As I understand it (and I have never used pro services, so I'm sure someone will correct me if I am wrong) it is expected that you will negotiate exactly what you want with a pro (ropes, light spanking, a little bit of pain) and so you will get it your way. The domme's personal interests might not be spanking and ropes, but wax and corsets - it will be easier to get the exact scenario you want with a pro, which is ideal to dip your toe in the water.

Alternatively, as others have said, become good friends with someone and they might be willing to help you out. Get out in the scene and show that you are respectable, interesting, safe and fun people, and others will want to play with you, and eventually I'm sure someone will be interested in exactly what you want.

Also: OT but MissAsylum - that profile picture is really nice, was it done in a studio?



DianeB269 -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 9:11:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Fireworksfor3

I've been with my girlfriend since she was 16, she was very inexperienced before I met her and she is quite often the shyest person I know. Recently she has been telling me about her fantasy of being dominated and trained to please a woman by another woman whilst I am forced to watch. How would one go about getting something like this happening? What advice do you have for couples like us? Any tips, pointers or things we should know? We're looking at trying to organize something like this in the next month or so and we'd love some advice from more seasoned members.


Send her to me and I'll train her then send her back to you with a video of the session...



evesgrden -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 10:37:21 AM)

Hi Fireworks,

I would suggest that in the process of making friends, rather than looking at only female dominants, befriend some of the male dominants too. Many of them would love to see their submissive be with another woman, and perhaps even top another woman. You too guys would come to an understand of what would and would not be ok, probably including both of you in the hands-off roles.

There are plenty of submissive women who top others under the direction and/or with the approval of their dominant. But still the preceding advice from others is right on. The dominant would have to like you, or at least like the idea of the two women together.

Food for thought:)



LadyPact -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 2:29:08 PM)

I'm also in the "make friends" camp. If you do not wish to pay a pro for the experience, you are going to have to meet people somehow and get to know them. Then, you can have a friendly basis to discuss where you would like to go.

Please, take My word for this. There are plenty of couples out there who want this kind of thing. Female Dominants are asked all of the time if we would be interested in the scenario. Even those of us who aren't bisexual get asked fairly regularly. Personally, I wouldn't even be interested in play that didn't include sex from anyone who was just approaching Me via the internet. If I don't know you in person, I'm really not interested.




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 7:34:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Fireworksfor3

I've been with my girlfriend since she was 16, she was very inexperienced before I met her and she is quite often the shyest person I know. Recently she has been telling me about her fantasy of being dominated and trained to please a woman by another woman whilst I am forced to watch. How would one go about getting something like this happening? What advice do you have for couples like us? Any tips, pointers or things we should know? We're looking at trying to organize something like this in the next month or so and we'd love some advice from more seasoned members.


I'm afraid I am unable to help you....for two reasons:

1) You used the word "whilst". You are now ostracized from my Kingdom.

2) You have not provided any photos of your GF in her fantasy situation....(and frankly, whether or not she's actually achieved this goal is, to me, more than immaterial, photos are required for my discernment. You want my help....do what's required. A winner does what's needed to win).



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 7:38:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

I would suggest you actually make some friends, go to local munches, before just trying to have a sexual encounter.


Seconded. What woman would be crazy enough to get naked with two strangers? But if you go to parties and see people playing, you might be able to get a woman interested in topping your wife while you watch.



Steven,

You and I need to talk.

This is clearly a person who is seeking advice.....a veritable doe in bear territory....tender and weak....I'm working this for photos....and you offer THIS?

I want your man card Steven.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 7:41:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I can understand your g/f's qualms about hiring an escort, but... imagine how a dominant bi woman would feel about a proposition that is along the lines of "We'd like to fool around with you to see if we like it...", you could find that it's a tough sell.

Again... not saying it's impossible, but you could be looking for a while.


I can vouch for the bold text. I've been asked to be involved in something like this (sans the older part) many times, and often under the same premise, word for word.

It definitely rubs the wrong way to be thought of in that manner by two perfect strangers. Of course there will be a woman who fits this bill out there...somewhere, but what are your true odds of this happening with somebody who....

- you find attractive.
- your girlfriend finds attractive.
- finds both of you attractive.
- is willing to be "test subject"- so to speak.
- is in a situation that allows her to participate.
- is healthy (mentally and physically)
- isn't an escort

....that doesn't have a pre-existing relationship with either one of you?


So please, take the advice of ClassIsInSession and DarkSteven of getting to know people first before trying to jump the gun into a purely sexual relationship with so many factors to consider,


JEEEEEZUZ!!!!!

I just looked at your photos.....

If I was still young, had hair and was even remotely attractive to females of my own species.....I'd be all over you!

You are one fine piece of candy!

(By the way....I have absolutely no idea what you just said in your post).



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 7:43:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Here is what you do: MAKE FRIENDS.

There ya go, hope that helped.


Friends.

People that like spending time with (oneself).

(I don't understand that....nobody likes me).

Although, I should add....fewer people hate me this week than last....but I work in a DNA lab and most of my friends don't have actual vocal chords.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Girlfriend wants to be dominated by an older woman. (6/28/2012 7:44:02 PM)

JJ. You're my Henchman. Of course I like you!



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