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Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 8:39:14 PM   
Sublooking12


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline 		Busted the guy that wanted to be my Dom in a lie. He does not know that I know. Do I tell him or just disappear?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 8:46:13 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		If the Dom in question is the same one mentioned in your journal, then I'm sure
he already knows that you know. Do what you need to do to move on.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 8:47:45 PM   
Sublooking12


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline 		It does not matter as frankly the gift of submission is so deep and special that any man that lies does not deserve my respect, devotion or servitude.
Lies are one of my limits I guess.

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 8:50:50 PM   
Sublooking12


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline 		Yeah, the updated journal will probably be the announcement that I know he lied. Oh well, move on as that one just wasn't worth it. Thanks for your words and I feel better just blowing off steam.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 8:52:36 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		I guess whatever would be more meaningful to you. I've done it both ways, can't say either was better, just that I paid attention to myself each time and whatever I felt was the way to proceed then I did it.

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 8:54:10 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline 		Blowing off steam is fine, this forum is a good, usually safe place to do it in. As for confronting, why waste your time or energy? If it gives you some sort of satisfaction in doing it, fine. Whatever. Personally, be glad you discovered this aspect early and move on... fuck him.

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 9:12:15 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Shrug your shoulders, ignore him and say...NEXT!!

Anything more than that and I'd write you off as a drama llama.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 9:20:56 PM   
Sublooking12


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline 		All true! Not worth fretting over.
Thanks guys

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 9:35:17 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sublooking12

Busted the guy that wanted to be my Dom in a lie. He does not know that I know. Do I tell him or just disappear?

Go with what you feel. Either just ignore him and move on or, if you prefer, tell you caught him in a lie and then ignore him and move on. If you tell him, don't make a big deal out of it, just say you know he lied and goodbye. Making a big deal out of it though would make you look like a drama queen.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question for Dom - 6/30/2012 11:29:11 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Looks like you got this wrapped up. Good luck.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question for Dom - 7/1/2012 5:03:01 AM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		I personally would simply ignore and not say anything. I had that happen to me, once and he never even fessed up, just kept lying about the lie.

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question for Dom - 7/1/2012 5:10:40 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Many liars will continue the lie. It's not worth arguing about it. I would just say "we're not compatible" and move on. Liars can make you crazy.

When I found out that two potential Doms each had two Domestic Violence convictions, I brought it up to the first one but not the other. While one can attempt to spin the results in the Clerk of Courts database, one cannot deny their existence.

Now, I trust my gut - when I get red flags, I don't look for incontrovertible proof - I just move on.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question for Dom - 7/1/2012 9:10:18 AM   
Sublooking12


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline 		Just looking forward to finding someone and I know with some trial and error I will find one to respect, trust and serve. I am reinvigorated with sloughing off the past and you all have had some wonderful advice.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question for Dom - 7/1/2012 4:08:44 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sublooking12
Busted the guy that wanted to be my Dom in a lie. He does not know that I know. Do I tell him or just disappear?

Well, whatever you do I'd suggest avoid high school melodrama if at all possible.

<---- avowed liar.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 7/1/2012 4:11:02 PM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question for Dom - 7/2/2012 2:58:43 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Many liars will continue the lie. It's not worth arguing about it. I would just say "we're not compatible" and move on. Liars can make you crazy.



This is true. If you do decide to confront the liar make sure it's an in and out deal. If you stick around for conversation about it they'll suck you into a back and forth debate where you'll lose just having to constantly defend what you know as the truth. It's an assault on your dignity to have to defend the truth so don't put yourself in the position for insult upon injury.

The time I confronted the person who lied to me I delivered the items I had of his complete with a printout of condemning evidence and walked away, refusing to pick up any calls from him that day. He later emailed me with an apology and acknowledgment of the lie, and although I never wrote or called again, it did feel good to hear him say he was wrong. The time when I choose to keep things to myself was because I knew the man involved would keep lying and I'd not get any satisfaction at hearing him stick to his lies and keep the thing going. With him I knew I'd feel better knowing that I had the truth and got myself out of there before being more invested. Therefore I chose from what I knew of each person at the time, and what I wanted to get out of it.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question for Dom - 7/2/2012 4:31:06 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Using FR:

I've had many men lie to me by omission about their marital status. It happens all the time in online situations.

A male sub cmails me with his interest, we have a few brief conversations, then I open up the possibility of a phone call. Most of them (who claimed to be single) disappear.

Every now and then one will get on the phone, but you know, claiming to be single gets harder once you have someone's number. They say something that busts them and you guessed it, disappear.

This happens ALL THE TIME. It's not worth getting your panties in even a little twist.

Now, if I was actually in a relationship with someone, and found out they lied, damned right I would confront them. I like to let people know where I am at with them at all points in a relationship, and this includes right before I dump them.

It would be a surgically quick in and out, since liars lie, cheaters cheat, and these types rarely change.



_____________________________



(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question for Dom - 7/2/2012 8:32:20 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Many liars will continue the lie. It's not worth arguing about it. I would just say "we're not compatible" and move on. Liars can make you crazy.



This is true. If you do decide to confront the liar make sure it's an in and out deal. If you stick around for conversation about it they'll suck you into a back and forth debate where you'll lose just having to constantly defend what you know as the truth.


I always called them on their bullshit. It was a cut and dried statement with no room for conversation given. I did this so that I didn't have to dodge them constantly.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question for Dom - 7/10/2012 10:55:08 PM   
deeplove


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline 		Who lies one lies more ....you know what to do ...

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question for Dom - 7/11/2012 7:09:42 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sublooking12
Busted the guy that wanted to be my Dom in a lie. He does not know that I know. Do I tell him or just disappear?

OK... just on a slim chance that such things matter. What does your sense of honor tell you to do?


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Sublooking12)
Profile   Post #: 19
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