RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (Full Version)

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littlewonder -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/4/2012 1:51:39 PM)

I really don't find the books as surprising. Most people...both men and women, that I know at least, have some kind of fetish or kink or such fantasies. My friends and sisters talk about our partners and sex lives while sitting around in the kitchen cooking holiday dinners or sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and just shooting the bull. It's our little woman coffe klatch thing lol. What women don't sit around and talk about their men and laugh about their little idiosyncrasies or are annoyed that hubby didn't take out the trash two weeks in a row? LOL Or when everyone asks why one of them has such a big smile on her face and goes on about her wild sexcapade with her husband or boyfriend the night before which leads to more and more from everyone else. Stuff comes out, stuff gets shared because you're around people you love and who will still love you even after the laughs and sharing of all kinds of wild info.

Maybe it's just me but that's how it's always been for me since my sisters and I all became adults. The girls gossip about their partners and sex life. The men go off to the bar and gossip about the sex they had the night before lol.



Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/4/2012 2:36:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I really dont care much for or about the books, but I do think it is interesting that they have caught the attention of so many women. I dont think it is just about the "kinky" sex in the books. I think there are a lot of vanilla women out there who really want to be led/dominated, and dont really have a clue, at the conscious level, that that is what they want. Also, a private smile for me was the family assumption that under NO circumstances would they know anyone who "actually lives like that..."



I think that is the same reason Twilight was so popular. Many called his controlling abusive but still every girl I knew was in love with Edward.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/4/2012 2:55:40 PM)

I don't know anyone who called Edward "controlling."  I read and enjoyed the Twilight series, but what I found disturbing was how Bella was so non functional without him.  Since the book was really for young readers, I found the message that a girl was so incomplete without a man in her life to be a very bad message.

At some point I may read the Shades books, but I'm not in a big hurry.



Firebirdseeking -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/4/2012 5:54:10 PM)

Bella was non-functional because she had the role of caretaker of her mother, and like many children who are caretakers, "parentifiied", as it is called, she did not take care of herself well, so therefore"needed" Edward. On the other hand, what teenage girl would NOT fall for a guy who was handsome, wealthy, able to do anything at all, including protecting her from all the evils of the world? Every girl's dream...modern day fairy tale. Look at all the adult women who loved the Richard Gere/Julia Robert film "Pretty Woman".



MercTech -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/5/2012 3:27:17 PM)

An old friend who was always very Vanilla has been reading 50 Shades of Gray.

You should have heard her when I pointed her to my CM profile.

"How come you never spanked me when we were dating?" was the first comment.

Giggle



BootyBoy -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/5/2012 6:11:57 PM)


quote:

"How come you never spanked me when we were dating?" was the first comment.


Yeah, she says that NOW, after staying up all night reading the book.



Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/5/2012 6:32:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I don't know anyone who called Edward "controlling."  I read and enjoyed the Twilight series, but what I found disturbing was how Bella was so non functional without him.  Since the book was really for young readers, I found the message that a girl was so incomplete without a man in her life to be a very bad message.

At some point I may read the Shades books, but I'm not in a big hurry.



Oh the parenting board I was on, many of the mothers there called him controlling and swore their girls would never read such a book. They did not want them getting the idea that they let a man control them like that.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/5/2012 6:36:34 PM)

Well, so far I've outed myself to my mother a few years ago. She was extremely cool about it. Actually she's a firm believe in how two people wish to live their lives is their business. I outed myself to one of my half sisters a few years ago. She likes to talk about her sex life at times. Anyways, yeah. She was cool about it. One of my cousins is well aware that I'm into BDSM.

Mind you, I'm rather limited to what I've shared with them. I'm really not big on trying to Squick them out with everything little detail of what I'm into. I've kept things pretty General and reasonably vague.






LafayetteLady -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/6/2012 6:50:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I don't know anyone who called Edward "controlling."  I read and enjoyed the Twilight series, but what I found disturbing was how Bella was so non functional without him.  Since the book was really for young readers, I found the message that a girl was so incomplete without a man in her life to be a very bad message.

At some point I may read the Shades books, but I'm not in a big hurry.



Oh the parenting board I was on, many of the mothers there called him controlling and swore their girls would never read such a book. They did not want them getting the idea that they let a man control them like that.


Really?  I find it a shame that they completely missed the point that Bella was completely lost without Edward in her life.  I can think of not one example where he "controlled" her other than saving her from danger, which isn't controlling, it's protective.  Oh wait, you are right, he was very controlling in refusing to turn her into a vampire just because that was what she wanted.  Of course, that was also him trying to protect her.



hejira92 -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/6/2012 8:37:15 AM)

A few months ago my Mother asked if I was going to read Fifty Shades of Grey- then she answered her own question by saying, "but it's probably all old hat to you." LOL. I love my Mom.

Then, a vanilla-but questioning friend bought me a copy of the first book. At first I liked it, but then the bad writing and the lack of any redeeming qualities of the protagonist made it a chore to finish. Not only is she NOT submissive, but I didn't see one thing interesting about her- let alone fascinating enough to hold this "dom"'s attention. My Sir would have dismissed her in a heartbeat.

And, even worse, this milksop of a girl is going to "reform" or, worse, "cure" him? Like being a dom is wrong, an error of judgment or the reaction to a difficult childhood? I find that as insulting as the assumption that all sub women had abusive fathers.

And it's making me bat-shit crazy that everyone now thinks they know all about WIITWD. And they slyly wink about it. HA!



Firebirdseeking -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/6/2012 3:13:20 PM)

These books - the Twilight series - and Shades of Gray - are FANTASIES. I dont think too many people tout them as high literature or historical fact. As fiction, compared to, say, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, a wonderful book - they are actually laughable. Compared to other bodice rippers - I dont know, I dont read them, but they probably hold their own. Its a mistake to mistake them for fact of any kind, or even representative of pop culture. Just sayin' to no one in particular. My main point anyhow was not about the books, but that the relatives never considered the possibility that they actually know some people, are actually related to people, who are "sort of like that".



kesra -> RE: Meeting the relatives, and "Shades of Gray" (7/6/2012 3:46:07 PM)

I liked the book. I thought the story was very compelling. No, Ana isn't very submissive at all. Not only does she not "get" it, but Christian puts up with it, which baffled me. I don't usually read books of this sort, and I find most sex scenes in books to be very boring, and this one was no different. Definitely wanted more kink than I got. And from what I hear it only gets more tame in books 2 and 3 which is too bad. I'll probably read them someday, but I'll get them out of the library.



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