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Sub needing advice - 7/5/2012 10:28:53 AM

pj1977

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2012
From: Warrington, Cheshire
Status: offline

Hey all, introduced myself in the right section but looking for the Mistresses on here for some advice, I have seen so far that people are sceptical of new subs as alot arent serious or just fake. So, as a serious person wanting to learn and get involved in this, any tips?

I want to be taken under someones wing and for them to see the potential in my being so inexperienced that they can mould me in their own way but people seem releuctant about my lack of experience.

I obviously don't know my limits or what I like, as I havent been "tested" yet.

So, any advice would be greatly appreciated either here as a reply, or a private message. I'm lost and need guiding so I don't make a complete idiot out of myself!

Thanks

Paul.

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RE: Sub needing advice - 7/5/2012 10:33:43 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Read profiles and comment on what is said there and contact dominants that are in your own country. Fill out your profile so that those that you do contact, have something to go on. If you seek online only... make sure the dominant you contact is seeking the same. If her profile reads as if she wants a real time relationship, you really need to pay attention to that.

Good luck...

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: Sub needing advice - 7/5/2012 10:35:10 AM

pj1977

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2012
From: Warrington, Cheshire
Status: offline

Thanks for that, I have contacted a few and made my profile as full as I can so hopefully it will yield some results. :)

(in reply to Lockit)

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RE: Sub needing advice - 7/5/2012 10:37:16 AM

VioletViolence

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
Status: offline

Go to munches and events. Talk to people and make friends, regardless of orientation. Read any books, articles and blogs you can find on the kinks that interest you. Ask questions. The biggest mistake that subs make is to go around to every Domme they can find, asking to serve or wanting to play. To set yourself above these sorts is easy, be polite, be respectful, approach any women you're interested in as women first, Dommes second. I know that this is all new and shiny to you, but not losing your head and becoming desperate when you can't find the perfect woman within weeks will give you a much higher chance of succeeding. Best of luck!

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RE: Sub needing advice - 7/5/2012 10:40:41 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

You're going to get the same advice everyone gets when they ask a question that boils down to "How do I meet people." Answer: Get involved in your local community.

If you don't know where to look, Google Your City/State and BDSM. FetLife is also an excellent resource for finding local people/groups/events. Go to munches - meetups of kinky folks in a vanilla setting, usually a restaurant for a meal. Go to a demo or other presentation at your local kink group. Make friends, learn stuff.

Tl;dr - Turn off the computer and go meet real people.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Sub needing advice - 7/5/2012 10:41:14 AM

pj1977

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2012
From: Warrington, Cheshire
Status: offline

Thats really helpful thanks! One thing I luckilly have is ounces of courtesy so anyone I have approached I've not made any sexual references or said "want to serve you" etc and some of the replies I've had stating I'm too far away etc have complimented my polite approach so at least I know I'm going in the right direction :)

Thanks

(in reply to VioletViolence)

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RE: Sub needing advice - 7/8/2012 7:31:10 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

Hello Paul,

Boy can I relate. I found CollarMe to be overwhelming at first. The message boards were full on intimidating. Sometimes I look at something I posted and think, DAMN! I have to remember to PROOF-READ!"

I have been pretty lucky with CM. I have met a lot of wonderful Women here; both on the boards and in person. I am not quite sure why. I hope that you have as good an experience as I have (if not better). Welcome!

When I ask a question here, I am trying to gain insight into an aspect of D/s that I am currently being exposed to. I find it difficult to phrase a lot of questions appropriately. THEN I usually for get to proof-read them (did I mention that?).

Well i just wanted to echo your concerns and assure you that you are not alone.

Respectfully
Mike
SnowRanger

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You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

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