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Kana -> RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask (7/12/2012 1:15:53 AM)
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ORIGINAL: imdmb
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ORIGINAL: catize
I understand consequences; positive or negative results of my actions or words. But your work analogy still doesn't convince me. I am fairly autonomous at work, I arrive on time and do my job because it is what I have agreed to do, not because I am afraid of getting fired. I am good at what I do because I take pride in my work.
If I screw up at work, most of the time I am aware of what I did wrong and strive to fix it. If I was not aware, I would be given a verbal warning and then, if it happened again, a written warning along with an action plan to help me get where they want me to be. Getting fired (punished) is not the default consequence.
I am the same way in my D/s relationship(s). I strive to do my best and if he is unhappy with my efforts I would expect him to tell me what I need to do to make him smile instead of frown
And I do agree with and appreciate this:
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3-Lets be very very clear here. I hate the concept of punishment. When I do mete out consequences it ain't a fun thing, for me or her. It disturbs our dynamic, interrupts the flow of my wa and leaves us both with emotional hangovers, which are no fucking fun.
I don't understand the obsession with punishment or why anyone would want it to be a big part of their scene.
Too many threads on punishment are written with an almost maniacal glee; punishment should never be seen as anything but a difficult, sad, and unhappy episode within the relationship.
wait wait wait, i dont think the analogy was saying that getting fired was the punishment part, i think that the analogy is that at work you get talked to and written up equals being punished
maby im reading that wrong, but i dont think so. how about i put the current theories in into my theory and say what comes out of the number crunching
ok, crunched. a slave/employee starts their chores/job. now both take pride in their work, both want to make their "employer" happy. now if they arent doing their job right then they get discipline, be it a spanking or getting written up. now if something becomes entirely wrong, something that cant be fixed no matter what, then an employer fires their worker, an owner can do the exact same thing by uncollaring and booting the slave out the door never to come back again. of course, nobody wants to fire or be fired, and nobody wants to lose a slave and no slave wants to be sent away (unless of course its a bad relationship, but seriously if its a bad relationship then it has nothing to do with this thread anyways) so yes while firing is there, its not what i would call a punishment, firing is the ultimate end that comes only if the employer and employee are entirely uncompatable and not so much to be used as punishment. to me a punishment is for something that can be fixed and "firing" or kicking somebody out comes from something not able to be fixed
and yes, im aware i was redundant, but im just trying to say the same thing in different perspectives so im less likly to be misunderstood
Actually there are many forms of punishment, formal and non, up to firing that were more what I had in mind.
Think about things like letters of reprimand, or marks on a personnel file, bad review scores, negative discussions with a boss-these are all straight up disciplinary measures. There are also things like loss of perks, maybe a promotion doesn't happen, or you get shipped to freaking Siberia, or a bonus is cut, if given at all.
Then there are less formal measures, the bosses disapproval, being overlooked in meetings, possibly other employees aware of the error, getting the crappiest end of an assignment every time, being forced to work overtime or take on the most troublesome cases.
Not to mention the internal consequences, the hurt pride, the humiliation that can be involved in these things.
And on the flip side there are positive consequences-that big fat bonus, a trip to the islands, that gravy shift, public accolades from the big kahuna, employee of the month recognition, a free dinner at a nice joint, the corner office, the bosses ear, things like that.
Look, like it or not, it's pretty much a base rule of economics that the best method to motivate folks is via incentives...and that means both pro and con. And it's certainly a, if not the, numero uno causation driver and motivator in a capitalist society.
I ain't saying I like it, just that that's the way it is-it's just human nature.
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