Collared by two? (Full Version)

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crazyinsatiable1 -> Collared by two? (7/8/2012 5:51:28 PM)

I have searched the web and cannot find an answer to this. Is it possible to be collared by two people at the same time? Ie my Dom husband and my Domme GF?



stef -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 5:53:34 PM)

What if someone here says no? Will it change either of the relationships you have?

If it works for all parties involved then yes, it's possible.




OsideGirl -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 5:54:04 PM)

I guess anything is possible, as long as they're in agreement.

But, I will say that being the submissive with two Dominants (unless the Dominants are a couple) rarely works. Somewhere along the line there ends up being a power struggle and the submissive gets forced to choose a loyalty.



HutchGarahl -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 5:59:09 PM)

I would have to agree with
quote:

OsideGirl
. Two separate Dominants controlling Subs/Slaves rarely works. It's better if they are a couple, though I have heard and been through the occasion myself where the couple didn't work either. Fortunately for all involved now, I am owned by a Dominant couple and everything works good.



BitaTruble -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 6:09:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyinsatiable1

I have searched the web and cannot find an answer to this. Is it possible to be collared by two people at the same time? Ie my Dom husband and my Domme GF?

Per your profile: You are having some difficulty getting your switch husband to be more dom. I would say, in your case, without further info, getting collared to someone who has a hard time being dom enough for you is a bad idea.



crazyinsatiable1 -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 6:15:18 PM)

Thank you for the responses.

They aren't a couple, we are (ie husband and me). We're fairly new to the lifestyle. She's a very close friend, and my first real female relationship. She's been in the lifestyle for a long time, so I guess you could say she's kind of mentoring him/us? They're both dominant switches.

She's harder on me than he is, but he's here with me more often. I don't have many rules for them to clash over yet (I'd like more!), I a bit bratty but am happy to do anything that pleases or makes them happy. I am prone to doing unsafe things so must get permission from both to engage in certain activities.

So far the dynamic is working and I want to take it to the next level. I was just wondering if it's disrespectful to the collar or contrary to standard practice to be collared twice at the same time. Will people look at my two separate collars and be offended or think less of me and my loyalty to both individuals?



crazyinsatiable1 -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 6:17:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyinsatiable1

I have searched the web and cannot find an answer to this. Is it possible to be collared by two people at the same time? Ie my Dom husband and my Domme GF?

Per your profile: You are having some difficulty getting your switch husband to be more dom. I would say, in your case, without further info, getting collared to someone who has a hard time being dom enough for you is a bad idea.


We're not ready right now, more for future reference. My GF wants me to wear a collar at frolicon with them so I don't get into trouble and it got my wheels turning.



crazyinsatiable1 -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 6:23:20 PM)

Speaking of not being dom enough, we've had a very happy, mostly vanilla 1950's style marriage for almost 12 years! But he was raised southern and to treat women a certain way and be rather shy in bed, etc...he's growing out of it quickly!



DesFIP -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 6:53:31 PM)

The downside to her being your domme is that it takes away his opportunity to grow into being your dominant. After all, you won't respond well to it from him if your need to submit is already being fulfilled with someone else. As a result you may be dismissive of him trying to grow because he isn't rough enough or whatever.

However if she's only talking about you wearing a collar for one event, just to help protect you. Then she isn't your dominant, she's just a friend who is temporarily helping protect you. Although if your husband is there also, is there any reason why you wouldn't agree if he says no, this person isn't safe to play with? Because if you're going to ignore him, then you'll never submit to him.



crazyinsatiable1 -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 6:56:49 PM)

I would never ignore either of them, more like a double layer of protection so to speak. One no is enough. If one no and one yes, I go with no as I want the approval of both. I want to submit to both of them, as they both fulfill different roles and needs and I trust both of them.



kalikshama -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 7:12:44 PM)

quote:

I have searched the web and cannot find an answer to this. Is it possible to be collared by two people at the same time? Ie my Dom husband and my Domme GF?


I think you must first answer - what does being collared mean to you, and to him, and to her?



stef -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 9:00:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyinsatiable1

I was just wondering if it's disrespectful to the collar or contrary to standard practice to be collared twice at the same time. Will people look at my two separate collars and be offended or think less of me and my loyalty to both individuals?

There are no "standard practices". Honestly, as long as everyone involved is happy, what do you care what other people think?



crazyinsatiable1 -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 9:08:19 PM)

I suppose I don't, I'm just rather new to the community and don't want to look silly...lol



stef -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 9:22:05 PM)

No one ever died from looking silly. If people's needs are being met and no one is being damaged, it's all good.



littlewonder -> RE: Collared by two? (7/8/2012 10:11:39 PM)

Asking the question makes you look silly. Doing whatever makes you all happy, does not.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: Collared by two? (7/9/2012 6:14:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyinsatiable1

So far the dynamic is working and I want to take it to the next level. I was just wondering if it's disrespectful to the collar or contrary to standard practice to be collared twice at the same time. Will people look at my two separate collars and be offended or think less of me and my loyalty to both individuals?


Your first sentence says it all. If it's working, why do you care what anyone else thinks?

Just do what works for you and your partners. Make up whatever rules the three of you think work best for your particular situation. Stop worrying about the opinions of outsiders. Just do you!



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Collared by two? (7/9/2012 7:16:25 AM)

This:


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I guess anything is possible, as long as they're in agreement.

But, I will say that being the submissive with two Dominants (unless the Dominants are a couple) rarely works. Somewhere along the line there ends up being a power struggle and the submissive gets forced to choose a loyalty.


When I first met my boy online, he was single. A few months later he was collared to someone he had met on the East coast. Now, I liked this man, but I don't poach. I talked to his domme and she allowed him to pursue an online friendship with me, knowing that if things went well, we would meet. And depending on how that went, he would have some decisions to make.

Shortly after our meet, they broke up. (It had nothing to do with me, there were other issues at play on both sides.)

So, things worked out fine, even though he was collared to another, b/c she and I talked and agreed on our parameters. I *totally* agree that this sort of thing never lasts long, unless the two are a couple. Eventually a power struggle will ensue.

But best of luck with it, and enjoy it while it lasts, you never know, maybe you could be the exception to the rule !!



Char2688 -> RE: Collared by two? (7/9/2012 7:52:07 AM)

It will work
It is up to the dominants to figure out the pecking order...
They do need to establish that!



Madame4a -> RE: Collared by two? (7/9/2012 9:56:11 AM)

well of course it is... it just might not work out all that well.. and in the end, everyone will get hurt.. perhaps you the most



Madame4a -> RE: Collared by two? (7/9/2012 9:57:33 AM)

oh dear naive thing...

please...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Char2688

It will work
It is up to the dominants to figure out the pecking order...
They do need to establish that!




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