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RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 12:16:58 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


Is that along the lines of what you were saying? Like how ppl get mad when you don't break your rules of honor?


Yes. 99.9% of the time I am the best secret keeper you will ever meet. The .01%......I rack up to being a space cadet and forgetting, usually months or more often, years later.......that I wasn't supposed to tell. Or there was a grave danger to someone in keeping the secret. But most people know me well enough to know they shouldn't drag me into that sort of bullshit so I don't think it's ever even come up.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 12:20:56 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions: a man of honor.

This definition from dictionary.com says it all for me. I would change the or to an and though.

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yep

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 1:09:49 PM   
Thaz


Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


Is that along the lines of what you were saying? Like how ppl get mad when you don't break your rules of honor?


Yes. 99.9% of the time I am the best secret keeper you will ever meet. The .01%......I rack up to being a space cadet and forgetting, usually months or more often, years later.......that I wasn't supposed to tell. Or there was a grave danger to someone in keeping the secret. But most people know me well enough to know they shouldn't drag me into that sort of bullshit so I don't think it's ever even come up.


From a recent conversation in my front room:-
"Have you heard <gossip regarding local scandal?"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Yes!"
"So can I"

Plaudits to 'Yes Minister' writing team who's wit I was stealing :-)


< Message edited by Thaz -- 7/11/2012 1:11:23 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 1:16:01 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Being honorable means I can look at my self in the mirror each morning, knowing that the people in my life will see the same face I see.

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We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 1:27:15 PM   
dublinemma


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline 		I think honor is having morals and expectations of yourself and trying your hardest to stick to them. Karma's a bitch, treat others how you would like to be treated and all that jazz! I have betrayed my morals to get something I've wanted in the past and the feeling just isn't the same as if you had actually deserved it and went about it the right way.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 2:19:21 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		From the dictionary:

good name or public esteem
a showing of usually merited respect
a person of superior standing
one whose worth brings respect or fame
a keen sense of ethical conduct : integrity (which ties in with Master's thoughts which are exactly how I feel)

honor, homage, reverence, deference mean respect and esteem shown to another. honor may apply to the recognition of one's right to great respect or to any expression of such recognition. homage adds the implication of accompanying praise. reverence implies profound respect mingled with love, devotion, or awe. deference implies a yielding or submitting to another's judgment or preference out of respect or reverence.



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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 2:21:47 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


Is that along the lines of what you were saying? Like how ppl get mad when you don't break your rules of honor?


Yes. 99.9% of the time I am the best secret keeper you will ever meet. The .01%......I rack up to being a space cadet and forgetting, usually months or more often, years later.......that I wasn't supposed to tell. Or there was a grave danger to someone in keeping the secret. But most people know me well enough to know they shouldn't drag me into that sort of bullshit so I don't think it's ever even come up.



I think it's funny when people ask me to keep a secret. I say I can because well...usually 5 minutes after they've told me I've already forgotten what they told me lol.

Space Cadette to the nth degree here.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 2:26:54 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

I wonder, do people like that just not have personal boundaries or is it more often as I suspect, they don't have the self confidence to stand by their personal convictions?


I think it's the bolded line. I personally can't NOT stand by my convictions. The couple of times I didn't stand by my convictions it I felt so guilty that it would eat at me for days and then I would have to call that person up and tell them I just couldn't do it and that I felt it was wrong and immoral.

For some odd reason they didn't stay my friend any longer. It separates the wheat from the chaff.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 2:44:30 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		~fast reply~
For me, to be a man of honor means that I have some identifiable code of honor... not necessarily one that is written down on clay tablets or somesuch and almost certainly is not easily articuable... but still... one that is identifiable to others and then acting on that code of honor independent of the cost to myself.

In short, I think it means someone who is guided by something other than short-term self-interest.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 2:49:00 PM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		I live up to my high standards and do not do what I wouldn't like being done to me. I also surround myself with people similar to my way of thinking. Way less drama and clarity comes in.



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_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 3:11:50 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Buzzzz

I live up to my high standards and do not do what I wouldn't like being done to me. I also surround myself with people similar to my way of thinking. Way less drama and clarity comes in.



high standards?
Dude you're showing your ass!


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insert something clever or profound that someone else thought of

vanilla burger flipper


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 3:17:09 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


Is that along the lines of what you were saying? Like how ppl get mad when you don't break your rules of honor?


Yes. 99.9% of the time I am the best secret keeper you will ever meet. The .01%......I rack up to being a space cadet and forgetting, usually months or more often, years later.......that I wasn't supposed to tell. Or there was a grave danger to someone in keeping the secret. But most people know me well enough to know they shouldn't drag me into that sort of bullshit so I don't think it's ever even come up.



I think it's funny when people ask me to keep a secret. I say I can because well...usually 5 minutes after they've told me I've already forgotten what they told me lol.

Space Cadette to the nth degree here.



Ha, nothing wrong with space cadets, some of us have to man the space station,lol. ;)

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 3:22:24 PM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		my understanding of the meaning Honor being discussed is.

doing the right thing even if my stance or decision will hurt.
my word is all i really have.
simple.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 3:24:34 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I like that as well.^^^

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to everhope)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 3:54:32 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

"Honor", like "trust" and "respect" is a word that gets bandied about on BDSM sites an awful lot. So that makes me curious... how exactly do YOU define this word and how does it manifest in your day-to-day life?

This post is a direct result of the post where a single sub is asking us if it's OK to have an affair with a married guy. I was accused of being "judgemental" because I noted that self-gratification isn't really a code of honor. But honestly, it's a part of a larger theme I'm exploring from another vanilla "marriage" site. In real life, pretty much everyone there is talking about cheating or being cheated on. My general observation is that I can't even really understand their thought patterns because they lack honor (quite specifically, they go with "the ends justify the means"). Oft-times I wonder how the one spouse got involved with the other because I wouldn't have touched either with a 10' pole -- disqualified on the basis of honor.

So... what's it mean to you?


Sorry Jeff my dislike for typing huge posts prevents
me from doing your question justice, but your not alone.
At my old work, everyone was sleeping with everyone
else... and they all had partners! I even joined in on the
adultery just because I felt like if so many people think it's
ok, I must just be a prude or something.
But it's not ok, they were as good as trailer trash and
to think... I still do mental checks on myself to make
sure Im not being an arrogant tool for thinking im better
than everyone.... Most people are just weak and choose
not to think about it man, it's the sea in which we swim.

-ARIES


_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 4:05:59 PM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		I don't see what me showing my ass ( or half of it) has anything to do with honor. You lost me there.

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 4:33:56 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

"Honor", ... how does it manifest in your day-to-day life?


::snipped for brevity::

I think answering this part answers the other question for me as well.

If I can get through a day without fucking up too much, I count it as a win. Most days honor isn't even a question. Most days I don't think about it. I mean, I'm into my man, reading, my projects, horseing around online, research.. stuff like that, so how that manifests on a daily basis is more a concept of how I think about consent as a practice rather than honor as an idea. I don't think there is honor in everything I do or every choice I make because sometimes the choice is the lessor of two evils but I'm pretty much a die-hard on the consent thing and I mean 'true' consent.. not the sort where someone only consents based on nothing but lies built on sand. Consent based on the truth of who I am, what I bring, where I'm at and also where I've been. If there's a possibility that it can effect the relationship, then the parties involved deserve to know otherwise their consent means nothing.

I don't know if that really answered the question because I kept it pretty narrow to my philosophy on BDSM (since this is a BDSM website and all!) but I don't cheat the plumber out of a fair wage, I pay my taxes and don't cause a lot of drama. I think I do okay for just being a human. That's good enough. I don't mind looking in the mirror.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 4:40:43 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		"Honor" means what it says it means in the dictionary. I shy away from tossing the term around because I find it's used most by self-important, self-righteous blowhards who hold themselves in too high of a regard. I'm all for holding yourself to any unreasonable standard you want to set. It's when you start holding everyone else to your own standards that you start to look like a holier-than-thou windbag.

I think honor, at its most basic, is doing right by others, keeping your word and just basically being able to look at yourself in the mirror and be comfortable with your decisions and way of life. Setting yourself up as some moral judge of everyone around you has nothing to do with honor. That's just being a dick...........luci

*edited for spelling

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 7/11/2012 4:45:40 PM >

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(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 4:43:39 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
I don't know if that really answered the question

Every answer answers this question. I'm just interested in seeing how people react to the word "honor" I've been reading SO many stories about people doing things which blatantly lack honor then wondering why their partners also lack honor and I've been pondering whether this is even a concept any more in our culture. So I thought I'd ask around and see what other people made of it.

I have no idea what sense I'll be able to make of all these responses but it's fascinating so thanks to everyone who has responded so far.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 5:17:57 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

Sorry Jeff my dislike for typing huge posts prevents
me from doing your question justice, but your not alone.
At my old work, everyone was sleeping with everyone
else... and they all had partners! I even joined in on the
adultery just because I felt like if so many people think it's
ok, I must just be a prude or something.
But it's not ok, they were as good as trailer trash and
to think... I still do mental checks on myself to make
sure Im not being an arrogant tool for thinking im better
than everyone.... Most people are just weak and choose
not to think about it man, it's the sea in which we swim.

-ARIES

I agree with everything ya said. Almost.

Not all "trailer trash" thinks it is ok to fuck around and have no morals and honor. I just find that as offensive as the n word, had to say something.

Carry on.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 40
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