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xLaChienne -> RE: Finding a mentor (7/17/2012 1:44:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: demonbound12
I have, Ive even joined a group and plan on attending a party this month. Thats fine and all but seeing as my wife/sub is just as new as i am she does have some reservations about just showing up at a party full of people she doesnt know and flaunting her stuff. As her husband and dom I can understand and respect that. I was hoping to start online and figure more out before jumping into the scene around here. Anyway, yes, that is on my list is will be done.
You need to consider more how you both feel about other people flaunting their stuff. It would never be expected or demanded that you or your wife would need to flaunt, however, it would be expected that you can accept that others will flaunt, flash, and freak on their fetish. There is one couple that is at a local club nearly every weekend who have never flashed skin or done more than socialize and observe and they have been going for a year or more. They are no more or less welcome than the couple that strips and takes turns on the cross.
You can start on line but really nothing is going to beat going out there and meeting people, observing the things that they do, how they navigate and negotiate scenes, the skills they bring to the table, and so on. As long as you don't interrupt them during a scene, most people are very friendly and welcoming to new people. A lot enjoy sharing their knowledge and talking about all of the cool toys they have and tricks they have learned through the years. The more you engage and interact with those in the community, the more likely it is you will meet someone who you want to mentor you because you respect their ideology, technique, toys, whatever. Also, don't discount that you can learn many different things from many different people. If someone wanted to learn about needle play, I would suggest one person. If someone wanted to learn about shibari, I would suggest another. If someone wanted to learn how to handle a single tail... you see where I'm going with this?
Go out and have fun. Observe and take it all in. If nothing else, it might lead to some really fun ideas to bring home and a ramped up sex drive from watching all of the action for the evening.
Munches are a different beast and others have covered it. I'm talking more about events and play parties.
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