RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ?

RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (Full Version)

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MsLadySue -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 6:00:12 PM)
Subs and slaves always have the choice to submit or not and to whom.

littlewonder -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 6:08:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: deeplove I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ... No. Nobody is "confused" because there is no right answer. What is true is that there are a lot of folks who have a lot of differing viewpoints. Mine personally? I look for two things when I think of "master" and "slave". A) A sense of ownership And by that I do not mean "we're kinky dating". I mean "property". B) A TPE relationship And by that I do not mean "well.. sort of kind of total except, of course, for all the obvious things which nobody would consider as reasonable yada yada." What I mean is "total". Job, health, children, food, drugs, friends, sexual partners, etc.... all a part of "total". Both (a) and (b) above are not easily quantifiable... more in the "I know it when I see it" sort of category. But how does that help you and or all the confused people out there? I don't actually think my own personal definition has any meaning whatsoever outside of my own relationship. Nor do I care one bit about your definition. What I know is what it takes for me to feel a sense of "owning" Carol and at the point she is "owned human property" then the word we use for that is "slave". This...it's the same for our relationship as well.

DesFIP -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 6:33:41 PM)
Except that if what you demanded was unreasonable, you would expect Carol to drag you to the doctor to see what made you change. I'm talking about demanded a murder-suicide pact, kidnapping strangers etc. Stuff that is not at all the kinds of things that allow her to give total trust to you. Anyway, my usual definition, at least in how most people online use it is as follows: A sub is someone who won't do what I will do, and a slave is someone who will do what I won't do.

JeffBC -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 6:48:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Except that if what you demanded was unreasonable, you would expect Carol to drag you to the doctor to see what made you change. I'm talking about demanded a murder-suicide pact, kidnapping strangers etc. Stuff that is not at all the kinds of things that allow her to give total trust to you. No I would not. If I gave Carol some "unreasonable" command I'd expect her to obey. If I failed to dominate her then I'd expect to lose a slave and almost certainly a wife. A sub is someone who won't do what I will do, and a slave is someone who will do what I won't do. laughs yeah that. At least online I certainly agree. In the real world the whole question is pointless. I either like hanging out in someone's living room or I do not. What labels anyone applies to anything are beyond pointless. Insofar as me evaluating some female, I can't for the life of me figure out why I'd care whether she labeled herself as vanilla, sub, or slave. Either I can dominate her or I cannot. If I can at all, then it's a pretty safe bet she'd be "slave for me" if I wanted that.

DesFIP -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 7:03:34 PM)
Really? My rules include taking care of him. Which means if I suspected he had personality changes due to a stroke or Lyme's disease or such, then I should disobey his newer order in order to follow the more important one. It helps having some rules be more important than others.

KnightofMists -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 7:36:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deeplove I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ... Everything And nothing

Endivius -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 7:53:48 PM)
the difference between a sub and slave.... Hm... This is a tough one... Is this a gorean trick question?.... I would have to say..... Perspective.

JeffBC -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 8:04:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Really? My rules include taking care of him. nods Our rules: What Jeff says is right, is right. What Jeff says is good, is good. What Jeff says is proper, is proper. ... all the way up until Carol figures I no longer have her respect.

seekingreality -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 8:09:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deeplove I'd really appreciate your opinion regarding this matter because a lot of people are confuse about this important thing ... It's not important. And no one is confused. People just define it in different ways. So no matter what definition you come up with the next person you meet might have a different one. So forget semantics and labels, and just approach people as a person, not as a label.

sexyred1 -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 8:17:59 PM)
As is so evident from many threads like this, people cannot seem to make their own decisions regarding what role they are. They seem to think that being involved in BDSM has a rule book. I never hear anyone who is vanilla asking the difference between a being a girlfriend or friend with benefit or a wife.

deeplove -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 8:50:03 PM)
i like the puppet11 definition ...i dont know if it is the right ...

littlewonder -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 9:02:24 PM)
quote: I never hear anyone who is vanilla asking the difference between a being a girlfriend or friend with benefit or a wife. I actually had a girl from my women's church group ask, what's the difference between a boyfriend, significant other and partner. LOL...so apparently some ask that too.

WestBaySlave -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 10:28:05 PM)
The only important definitions are: A: How you define yourself. B: How your significant other(s) defines you. I can almost guarantee, given the diversity on this scene, that will be told you're a true slave, not a true slave, a true submissive, not a true submissive, not any of these things, and so on. I certainly have been subject to my own and others variable definitions. My advice would be: stop thinking about it in terms of labels, and start thinking in terms of both what you provide, and what you seek from another.

kittycake -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/17/2012 11:02:09 PM)
I'm not really interested in the semantics. When someone identifies themselves as a sub, or a slave, I become curious about what that means to them. I know a lot of people on the s-side of things that go back and forth between the terms just fine. I consider myself to be more of a sub than a slave, because in my definition, a submissive submits within agreed upon rules, while a slave gives up total control. That's just my way of thinking, for me, and has no bearing on anyone else's definition.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/18/2012 5:12:20 AM)
It really is what you want to call yourself and for what reasons, there is no real distinction in relationships because all are different.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/18/2012 5:29:30 AM)
Using FR: I do think there is a difference between a sub and a slave. The thing is, the differences are based on my own definition and interpretation. In other words, the differences are very individualized and personal. When it comes to the (BDSM) world at large, I recognize that my definitions and interpretations may not perfectly coincide with others, and that I have no authority to force my definitions and interpretations on others. Which is why people are telling the OP it doesn't matter, and it's how people define themselves, etc. It's been my observation that people capable of thinking for themselves will form their own definitions and interpretations; people who cannot think for themselves will (as always) flounder.

GreedyTop -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/18/2012 5:40:35 AM)
~FR~ LILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tacklesmooocheshugsgropes I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!

crazyml -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/18/2012 5:51:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 I never hear anyone who is vanilla asking the difference between a being a girlfriend or friend with benefit or a wife. Really? I've had to endure dozens of conversations discussing the difference between being a girlfriend or friend with benefits! Not much confusion about the "wife" bit mind you.

kalikshama -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/18/2012 6:10:26 AM)
/snicker/

OsideGirl -> RE: what is for you the diferent between a Submissive and an Slave ? (7/18/2012 7:09:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittycake I consider myself to be more of a sub than a slave, because in my definition, a submissive submits within agreed upon rules, while a slave gives up total control. That's just my way of thinking, for me, and has no bearing on anyone else's definition. I consider myself a submissive, because I don't believe that there is such a thing as consentual slavery.

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