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Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 8:30:20 AM

puppet11

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Good Morning for those of you who know about my intro yesterday... I spoke with Him, one of I believe many conversations we will be having, and He needs patience from me, I did express my concerns for Him and my feelings lately. We hiked for a couple of hours yesterday evening and began our talk. He is methodical and slow moving and i am impulsive, impatient and at many times irrational both literally and figuratively and He is worn out, He is facing stresses He has not had to face before within His family and i am "not in and of myself able to fix it or Him regardless of my desire to". He was very kind and opened up much more last night than He has in the past few months. He has also agreed to getting checked out. It felt so good to sit at His feet at the end of the night and hear Him. Thank you for everyone's advice.

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RE: Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 8:33:09 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I hope things even out for him. Family stresses are their own circle of hell.

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RE: Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 8:37:26 AM

OsideGirl

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That's a very positive step forward. Good for you.

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RE: Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 8:44:09 AM

GreedyTop

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good for you both. I hope you continue to have the important conversations and can get things resolved!!

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RE: Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 12:39:18 PM

DesFIP

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Good. Communication is essential. Even if you can't help, just being a safe place for him to vent is important.

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RE: Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 6:34:04 PM

angelikaJ

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If you are someone who wasn't born with naturally strong communication skills (and very few of us are) or are someone whose impulsiveness can get her into trouble then you may find this interesting.

http://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations

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RE: Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 7:19:17 PM

seasnail

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So happy for both of you and your happiness! Way to go.

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RE: Beginning of Resolution... - 7/18/2012 8:00:56 PM

littlewonder

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This is all part of growing up and being an adult. You realize that you can't always get your kinky self on, you can't expect everyone to be in the same place you are and you certainly cannot help everyone or fix them. All you can do is be empathetic toward your partner, talk to each other candidly, openly and honestly and just go about life the best you can with each other.

Family is not an easy crisis to deal with. I've been dealing with a toxic family for YEARS and for the most part, I've walked away in peace and cut myself off to protect my sanity but it's not something that is easily done and accepted. Even now, years later, I still deal with regrets, guilt, anger, loneliness, etc....it's normal.

Just don't be so rash and impatient. Don't think of just yourself in the relationship. There are two of you in it together. Be there for each other in their time of need and realize, you wanting to be "dominated" is not going to take precedent over family, jobs, kids, etc...

Good luck. I do truly mean that in the best of all ways.

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