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RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 4:09:33 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: A50shadesOfGrey

How to put this gentle, It is you! Now it is you only because you are seeking a bad boy and that is what you got. A Boy that is Bad to his women. Now you say that is not what you were seeking? I say deep inside , yes you were. Do not confuse B&D and S&M with picking a louse of a boy friend with the life style you are seeking. There are lots of men out here who can fill your fantisies. But maybe you eliminate them before meeting them because of their hair color, eye color, size of their dick, who knows except you. I am not slamming you besure of that. Just a little wisdom with a wake up call from a new friend if want really want one. I have my second bed room set up for any lady who wants to explore her 50 shades of Grey . How about you ? Do you want to explore your lust with out the heart ache ?

Hmmm... let's see. All the women are hot and bothered for this kinky sex book, maybe if I go on a kinky sex website making reference to it and look around for those who might seem new/emotionally vulnerable/naive, I can pretend to be a friend with her best interests at heart and pick up some easy pussy! Win.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to A50shadesOfGrey)

Post #: 41

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 4:31:31 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

quote:

ORIGINAL: A50shadesOfGrey

How to put this gentle, It is you! Now it is you only because you are seeking a bad boy and that is what you got. A Boy that is Bad to his women. Now you say that is not what you were seeking? I say deep inside , yes you were. Do not confuse B&D and S&M with picking a louse of a boy friend with the life style you are seeking. There are lots of men out here who can fill your fantisies. But maybe you eliminate them before meeting them because of their hair color, eye color, size of their dick, who knows except you. I am not slamming you besure of that. Just a little wisdom with a wake up call from a new friend if want really want one. I have my second bed room set up for any lady who wants to explore her 50 shades of Grey . How about you ? Do you want to explore your lust with out the heart ache ?

Hmmm... let's see. All the women are hot and bothered for this kinky sex book, maybe if I go on a kinky sex website making reference to it and look around for those who might seem new/emotionally vulnerable/naive, I can pretend to be a friend with her best interests at heart and pick up some easy pussy! Win.

And the utter cleverness of wiggling out of any commitment, he's such a good friend but hey, he warned her about "no heart ache, just lust". Since he's on about her previous partners and how she must have picked them (looks and dick size according to him and what a mistake that was) I have the sneaky feeling that he hasn't got much to offer in all those departments.

The OP is 22, she's getting hit on by that smooth talking little lounge lizard in his 60's, why do I have the Family Guy tune stuck in my head and think about Herbert? Think the guy has a popsicle?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_(Family_Guy)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 42

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 6:56:02 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Apparently, I'm special. He friend requested me.

I'll try not to be jealous (of the new Mac he's going to send you without a doubt as part of the courtship ritual)

and the iPhone

and the transportation via helicopter

and upgrade to first class

and the closet full of new clothes

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Post #: 43

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 8:04:50 AM

LadyConstanze

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Got an iPhone, afraid of helicopters, too many clothes as it is, but the upgrades would be nice...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 44

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 12:34:57 PM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

Shades is right it is you, there something wrong with you - absolutely, you suck at picking guys.

On the plus side, you're probably too good for those assholes anyway, so consider it a victory.

From your profile, it sounds like you're a bit on the plump side, nothing wrong with that, but we do live in a shallow world, we all want to be loved for ourselves, but it doesn't happen that frequently - I just turned 50, and in 50 years it' s maybe happened twice, I'm still waiting too.

So my advice is, rather than give up, be yourself and have yourself some fun while you wait.

You might try a Brother, they're not as picky, they like big girls, and they're not all gangsters, plenty of geeks and nerds, poindexters adn mommas boys even, believe it or not. Most of 'em pretty average at worst, and many downright sophisticated, graceful and cultured, just throwing it out there.

Just remember, you suck at picking 'em, so maybe quit doing whatever it is you usually do, maybe get some girlfriends to hook you up - and you have to take some responsibility: you want instant gratification? Guess what, so does everybody else.

And online is basically like picking people at random in the street - try SexyThoughts advice: "You want a relationship? You need three things; proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other. "

I'm not saying it can't work, it can and does, but click fever is common, and the BBD (The Bigger Better Deal) is always just oooone more click away - don't tell me you didn't check out more profiles while you were dating these guys, that just how it goes.

In short, try looking closer to home, familiarity breeds - work, where you eat out, or drink coffee, the library - people who go to the same places you like to go are people who like doing the same things you do, right? So it might be something to try with your online profile, not specific places, but generally, kinds of places you frequent.

Just forget the bar, for that very reason: the people you meet in bars, are people who like to... go to the bar, lol.

And if you don't go anywhere, then start, the more people you know the greater the statistical probability you'll get hooked up with dreamboy.

Anyway, don't get too discouraged, he might be right under your nose and

_____________________________

Walking nightmare...

(in reply to GlowingEye)

Post #: 45

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 12:39:02 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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Rolls eyes at above post.

Yes, of course tell her it is because you think she is too fat to get a good guy.
How incredibly offensive, "pick a brother, they are less picky"?
Excellent advice. Blame her for the bad behavior of the men she has experienced.

Jeez.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 46

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 12:40:55 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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"Try a brother they're not as picky".

Wowser. Jeeebus on a fucking crumpet.

Which is worse, the racism or the fat shaming? SMH.

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 47

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 12:41:51 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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Nah, male ego, butthurt, trying to make somebody else miserable by pretending to give advice...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 48

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 1:51:18 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Which is worse, the racism or the fat shaming? SMH.

While his delivery absolutely sucked, it was my experience that white guys under 40 did care about body size more than men of color. I'm not noticing that now that I'm dating men over 40.

I wouldn't call my black friends "less picky" - I'd say they didn't view Barbie as an ideal.

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Post #: 49

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 1:55:08 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thineSpirit

I was 19 in 1988-89 and i remember how the girls around Miami, Florida were then about their sexuality, they weren't exactly shy, but they weren't giving it away either...add it all up Miami, the 80s, late teens...sex. Well, I kinda hung around with Women a little older anyway, but i completely understand what this letter is about, we had the same scare back then, especially back in Dade County Florida.

Miami was much better 10 years earlier. Trust me.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to thineSpirit)

Post #: 50

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 1:57:56 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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Hilly, maybe you can explain what his post had to do with the OP? Cuz it escaped me.

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Post #: 51

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 2:06:34 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: thineSpirit

I was 19 in 1988-89 and i remember how the girls around Miami, Florida were then about their sexuality, they weren't exactly shy, but they weren't giving it away either...add it all up Miami, the 80s, late teens...sex. Well, I kinda hung around with Women a little older anyway, but i completely understand what this letter is about, we had the same scare back then, especially back in Dade County Florida.

Miami was much better 10 years earlier. Trust me.

I left Miami (Coral Gables, actually) in 1989, that explains the decline.....

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 52

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 2:08:52 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Coral Gables! ~Venetian Pool love~

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 53

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 2:18:35 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Yeah, my jaw dropped the first time I saw that....

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 54

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 4:56:21 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Look this ain't about having SEX too soon or waiting too long. This ain't about that at all.

What's it about are the choices these guys made and those choices were to walk away. It's was their choice not yours. Which Understandable so... sucks to be on the relieving end of.

Dating can be a heartless challenge in life. There will be disappointments, let downs and hell even heartbreak. The good news is that sooner or later the right one will come along.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to GlowingEye)

Post #: 55

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 6:19:29 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GlowingEye
The first time we'd been together for about 8 months, this most recent was shorter, but no less explicitly exclusive.

Eight months no sex is going to be a deal breaker for a lot of people. You're in an age range where people are generally going to expect sex as part of going steady long term. Unfortunately, you're also in an age range where plenty of guys still aren't going to be very good at relationship communication.

In terms of things you can do to have better luck next time, I don't have great advice for you. Best I can say is be very explicit not just about the going steady but also about the no sex, very very explicit about the no sex. You'll probably still end up with guys running for it but hopefully it will weed out the ones who won't be able to deal with the no sex sooner rather than later.

(in reply to GlowingEye)

Post #: 56

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/26/2012 7:33:47 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

When you are getting to know these guys during the dating stage, look for a guy who shares your same values system. If you don't want to have sex because it's a religious thing or you want to wait until married or something like that, then start dating men who fit that profile. Look for men who share your values and your morals, not just some guy who has the same kinks as you or some guy who is cute. You need to really get to know a man and asking these questions of him and talking to find out what qualities you both share before committing to each other. Just don't go with some guy who says "yeah, I'm ok with that". That is code for "I can change your mind. If you don't then I'm outta here!".

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 57

RE: Is it me, or is this common? - 7/27/2012 8:23:56 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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Great post! I'd like to add:

- Don't ask leading questions that let him know what answer you want to hear.
- Be concerned if his CM profile is entirely kink-based.
- Ask if he has a profile on a vanilla date site. OKCupid has questions about values and the number of dates before sex.

If someone's CM profile is all kink based but he has a well rounded profile on a vanilla site, that's one thing, but if he's only talking about kink on only kink sites, he's too one dimensional for me. Or doesn't express himself well in writing, which is also important to me.

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(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 58

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