how did you feel? (Full Version)

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sabswife -> how did you feel? (6/9/2006 6:30:55 AM)

when your submission really truly hit you?  i have known that i am submissive, but i suppose ther ewas still this internal struggle of letting go of how i lived my life for so long, be it a lie or however you want to look at it.  that is how i look at it.  how and when did it hit you, was it an event that set it off or was it just one day it was like something switched in your mind -- and it just was?

i suppose what sparks this question is although i thought i had submitted completely when it really hit me and i accepted it totally and completely-- well i feel like i am on a physical as well as psychological high that i can't come down from, and never want to come down from.  like an permanant endorphin rush that is just who i am. 

if this makes any sense at all, i would love to hear others experiences.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 7:17:07 AM)

I just felt really serene, like "Yes, this is who I am and where I need to be."



SenseofBelonging -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 8:18:02 AM)

my submission truly hit me when She said "you need to just let go and trust Me". the sense of relief and release was immediate and overwhelming.



HisTicia -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 8:27:46 AM)

At first I was confused..I couldn't figure out how it actually could make me happy.. nor could anyone else in my life.  Then after a while.. I got a huge peace from it.. that maybe I was actually where I belonged and in the type of relationship that was most fulfilling for me.  Now, I know I couldn't live any other way.. He fulfills all of those needs..the lover/Master/friend/teacher.....and I don't think I could have found that in a vanilla relationship.. at least not to the point I could be totally satisfied.



sweetsubie -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 9:02:13 AM)

i was sixteen when i first had a partner so it was soon after o lost my virginity that i figured out that i was meant to be sub, it was tough at the time because i was very new to even being sexually active and i guess i didnt really think anything of my kinks untill my bf explained to me that not every one considers it as totally natural and normal so in that respect it was a little difficult but i was lucky to be young and comfortable enough with myself to move on and explore my discovery of BDSM further.



peterK50 -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 9:28:50 AM)

I always knew I was submissive but I was also sure I was clinically insane. I was 16, 6'4" 220# of muscle & an all-county football, hockey, & lacrosse player. I thought the fact I should want to submit was just crazy & I was certainly the only person on earth with these feelings. Then the brother of a friend showed us into the little back room of the smoke-shop that was common in the early 1970's & there was my epiphany. I saw those D/s magazines & quicky decided I was not alone. The feeling I had was one of unimaginable relief.



lisa1978 -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 1:56:17 PM)

I remember getting an outfit I was to wear going out from my Mistress way back when. At that time choosing something to wear would have taken hours and second and third guessing. I remember just putting it on and feeling so relaxed about it that it hit me that this life was truly nice and meant for me. I just felt an incredible calmness and a natural smile on my face like I have never felt

I think at the time I was understanding that the life was not a bunch of separate events but one constant behavior.



slavejali -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 2:10:34 PM)

I've had many *moments* when its hit me....kinda like walking a staircase without knowing there is another step in front of me until my foot actually lands on it.



impishlilhellcat -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 2:20:53 PM)

I fought my submissiveness for awhile. Even when I was in the midst of a Dom/sub relationship I still continued to fight it. It wasn't until we had seperated and I realized that for him I would do anything and found complete peace with it did I realize yes I've found it.



Halcyone -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 3:09:30 PM)

When it first hit me, and every time since, I felt/feel humbled.



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 5:26:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I've had many *moments* when its hit me....kinda like walking a staircase without knowing there is another step in front of me until my foot actually lands on it.


This is so true, Jali!! There are moments in the middle of my work day when something reminds me, and I feel a great sense of wonder, still. Just when I think I have completely become blase about it, I get that sense of relief at finally having been brave enough to seek this place. I hope I never lose that.



sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 7:16:02 PM)

Oh.. that only takes one word.
 
complete



LaMspeach -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 7:56:19 PM)

I felt a calmness I had never felt before. I felt, for the first time ever, i was were I belonged and that peice of me was no longer missing. I know in that moment I was owned and no one else would ever be able to own me.



Sensualips -> RE: how did you feel? (6/9/2006 9:31:08 PM)

Sort of a flip flop between calmly terrified and placidly vulnerable -- both with a pissed off edge.



bandit25 -> RE: how did you feel? (6/11/2006 7:23:29 AM)

I like the way jali expressed it and I think I'm kinda like that also.



tangria -> RE: how did you feel? (6/11/2006 9:31:36 AM)

my journey began many years ago, before i was even aware there was a "lifestyle" unfortunately i started out in a relationship with an aspiring gorean master, his "daddys girl" wife and myself, a submissive personality. a recipe for disaster, and it left a bad taste in my mouth and i left the household in anguish and wondering what went wrong. then spent years in "vanilla" relationships that went from bad to worse and i could never figure out why. someone turned me onto literotica and the bdsm stories----like the proverbial lightbulb going on i thought my god im not alone----this is ME. then to collarme, meeting others in r/l, and here i am. that relief, that peace, that calm serenity i felt when i realized it, there are no words to describe. and i still feel that when i think about it, or spend time with like-minded friends. i am home. its that simple. peace to you all.



akisha -> RE: how did you feel? (6/11/2006 10:38:51 PM)

Knowing i was  submissive and accepting  it did not happen at all at the same time. and i know i still have alot of work to do. I think the major moment for me in accepting myself was when i realize that when i gave up control it was the only time i actually felt in control (does that make sense?) I was spending so much time trying to control my life that i was living in spinning choas. Letting go meant the world came into focus, and everything cleared and calmed down. Things made sense and had purpose.

but that's just me *s*




litleone8620 -> RE: how did you feel? (6/13/2006 12:02:08 AM)

I fought my submissive tooth and nail for the first part of puberty. I really thought i was sick, and even considered seeing a therapist for it. But one day, nearly four years ago, i found a website that described exactly what i was feeling. All the fantasies i had thought made no sense to me, fianlly became clear in my mind. This didn't stop my fighting it though.

Then one day, i was walking through some store (Walmart probably), and saw the animal aisles. I went into the aisle where the collars were, and i just stared. That was my moment of clarification. I knew i needed  to be submissive, and i can't change this any more than i can change my blood type.

Jali put it in excellent terms. You just know there's another stair in front of you, and you just keep going.



cheshireboy -> RE: how did you feel? (6/13/2006 7:27:32 AM)

mine wasn't a sledge hammer of a moment, it was a creeping through of stages going form the expectations of society wanting a male to be dominate....to be given respect and to have control, working tends to do that.........to realizing that the acts of service is what i savor the most....to finally realzing that yes, this is what i am, this is what i can do and this is what i'm not allowed to do and therefore finding that great freedom within the confines of ownership.



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