That connection.

That connection. (Full Version)

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KnightofMists -> That connection. (7/24/2012 8:58:32 PM)
I don't know if I have any question here. But I was struck with the thought of how difficult it is to find that right person to be bonded with. I believe I am exceptionally lucky in that department. But it's ironic I suppose that I still feel open to the possibility of bonding to another with the depth and love I share with the two girls. Of course reality tells me that it is most unlikely and I would be better off hoping for the lottery. But when your poly, the bonding to one doesn't elimanite the possibility of bonding to another. I suppose if there is a question.. It's what does that connection do for you? Is there words to describe it? I Have posted on his board what seems forever... But yet with all my words I still don't feel like I have come close to describing the depth of the connection we three have. Just rumblings I suppose...

MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 9:28:46 PM)
I think you are just bragging. I'll trade you a first edition Mark Twain for either of them. Your choice, I think they are both sexy. Just in case I need to: this is just a joke. Unless you want to make the trade...

Hillwilliam -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 9:31:51 PM)
I'll trade a puppy for the other one.

NuevaVida -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 9:35:07 PM)
I like your rumblings :) I was just having a conversation earlier tonight with my cousin, about the connection I've found with the Mister. We're a two piece puzzle that fits together perfectly. Even in areas where we think differently, we connect. What does it do for me? Well it's allowed me to transcend joy and experience bliss. It also blows my mind sometimes, because his love is so good. Overwhelms me sometimes, too, because I don't always know how to process that love. Would "Wind beneath my wings" sound too cheesy? I wrote some really long posts recently about my relationship and some fears I've dealt with. And in those writings I realized how hard it's been for me to admit just how much he, and this relationship, does for me. I talked to him about that Sunday night, telling him this difficulty of mine. He smiled and said he knew, and he's in no hurry for me to get to that place - it will happen when it happens. No pressure, just love. And that love beckons me to keep giving him everything I can. What the connection does for me is it allows me to give and receive love as I haven't known it before. And that makes me so very grateful.

CRYPTICLXVI -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 9:46:52 PM)
I had thought that I had that connection... and that had been manipulated, leaving a rotting experience. It is like any relationship, a lot of people, myself included seek that bond, that connection. Initially, I think that a lot of people lie to each other, to themselves, seeking that bond but with time, if it is not actually there, the entire experience eventually dies. For everyone involved and some will bear on, out of stubbornness, or routine, or denial hoping that what they glimpsed at the beginning was real, true and can be recaptured, experienced once again. Or so I have heard... I know nothing about any of that, nothing. Still, once again, I discover myself experiencing what seems actually real this time... and this time, more aware, more cautious and more awakened both to the possibility as well as the potential yet finally honest enough with my self that if it isn't, I will extradite myself instead of lying to either of us. I believe that you are not lucky but rather blessed if you have actually done the work and have experienced the bond discussed. Cryptic

NuevaVida -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 9:56:29 PM)
Cryptic I agree with everything you said. I also had a lie of a bond in the past. What I learned is what one does with that lie, going forward, and what one can change within, can bring one to experience a truthful bond.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 10:01:18 PM)
I approve of bonding. Hasn't happened for me yet, but I'm still breathing. Edited for typo.

sexyred1 -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 10:06:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida Cryptic I agree with everything you said. I also had a lie of a bond in the past. What I learned is what one does with that lie, going forward, and what one can change within, can bring one to experience a truthful bond. I hope there is a good reason for my having gone through my own lie of a bond. If it does not lead to a good experience ever again, then that's life. I'm not sure it happens a second time for everyone. Which is sad, since you have no one to demonstrate your new knowledge with.

littlewonder -> RE: That connection. (7/24/2012 11:24:05 PM)
I like the idea and thought of connection and bonding and it's extremely important to me but you can't base a relationship entirely on it. There has to be the mesh of many practicalities that most people take for granted and just assume it will be there because there's the connection. Unfortunately a lot of people get hurt in relationships this way.

LadyPact -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 5:20:40 AM)
Fast reply. I'm sorry, KoM. I'm just not even able to think of that right now. We're just at the stage where we are learning what it is to have all three of us under the same roof on a permanent basis. I have My play partners, sure, but an actual addition to the home at this point is unfathomable to Me. If you are musing about is it possible to find that same bond in a fourth, after you already are three, I just can't tell you, because I don't know, Myself. I know what MP and I always talked about if he were ever to get a girl. Compatible with him, then Me, then clip on top of it. I tend to think it gets more complicated as you go along. Maybe, five years from now, when our family is where yours is today, I might be able to answer this question. Until then, I'm afraid I don't have a decent level of experience to answer appropriately because I'm not basing in on longevity or basis in fact. I can tell you what I think all day long, but until I've had all three of us under the same roof for five years, and speak from actual knowledge because I've lived it, that doesn't mean shit.

LaTigresse -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 7:00:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I approve of bonding. Hasn't happened for me yet, but I'm still breathing. This. Certainly I've loved and continue to love. But I've only come close to the sort of relationship I know is possible. I've no idea if it will happen for me. There are a lot of details about my life that tends to put up a fair amount of road blocks. I just remain open to the possibility and focus on living my life, enjoying every bit of what I already have........cuz truth be told, it's pretty fucking awesome. If someone comes along, likes what they see of me and my life, wants to jump into the middle of it and fits........yay!

OsideGirl -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 7:35:36 AM)
Master and I were friends for 3 years before we dated, so I knew I liked him. When we started dating in became obvious very quickly that there was something there. Within a short time we could finish each other's sentences, we frequently would say the same thing at the same time, I'd think a question and he'd answer it, and we can find each other in a crowd easily. That connection goes into other parts of our lives as well. Everything with him is bigger and better than it ever was with someone else. It does cause problems with the search for a third. People see how we are together and become convinced there isn't room for them. I was once asked if I would re-marry if he died, and my honest answer was that I wasn't sure because he'd be a really hard act to follow.

JeffBC -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 7:50:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I suppose if there is a question.. It's what does that connection do for you? It completes me. I know that it's highly unfashionable nowadays but I'm afraid I'm not an island unto myself. I'm a part of a union and in the absence of that I'm incomplete. Is there words to describe it? Sure, I feel like all the poets and writers down through the ages have done a pretty fair job of it.

bighappygoth39 -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 9:21:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 I hope there is a good reason for my having gone through my own lie of a bond. In my experience, the lie of a bond thing just showed me exactly what I never wanted a relationship to be like, and what I would never put up with again. The lie of a bond can cause things to fog over for a short time, but when it clears, everything is even clearer than before. It gives you a better perspective of the way forward, really. Finding that right connection, that deep bond when you just know this person is THE one you've been waiting for so patiently (or impatiently, in my case), is just awesome, and then the fun starts... [;)]

Buzzzz -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 9:31:10 AM)
I am also seeking the bonding , that connection. It has been a while . You get close, but that isn't it . The tricky part is that "the right time" has to happen. Could already have met that person but she/I could have been in a day off (let's say, someone close died or something like that) and never got a chance to go further. All kind of factors come into play (the distance thing in this l/s doesn't help either!!).

slaveluci -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 5:16:50 PM)
That connection is "simply amazing." I never knew it was possible to be loved so much and so deeply as I am by Master. He truly loves me more than His own life, I believe. It has been an amazing six years and still growing stronger and deeper everyday. We are the best of friends and that means so much. We know things about each other no one else knows and there's no negative judgment or condemnation of each other, regardless of the deep dark secrets. I've just never had anyone in my life that could love me so deeply, warts and all. It is a wonderful knowledge. BTW - you and your girls are so fortunate. I'm envious of what you've found and congratulate you all for keeping it together. You're truly some of the blessed ones[:)] luci

KnightofMists -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 6:28:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Fast reply. I'm sorry, KoM. I'm just not even able to think of that right now. We're just at the stage where we are learning what it is to have all three of us under the same roof on a permanent basis. I have My play partners, sure, but an actual addition to the home at this point is unfathomable to Me. Well beautiful Lady, I still marvel at what exists between us three. I think I old be fry worried if I ever lost that feeling. I don't want it to be old yay or taken for granted. My life is rather ordinary but yet I am speechless at what this relationship is like for me. Ironically I felt the same way when it was just Alandra and I. Bringing kyra in our life taught me many things and one of them is no matter how incredible it is now another coming into our life could create a new dynamic where we are just wowed with as we are now. It just rather against the odds to find such a person.

KnightofMists -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 6:32:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel I think you are just bragging. Maybe, but It is a matter of perspective. When I listen and enjoy watching another talk about the incrediblness of their relationship, I do not see bragging, I see joy and feel lucky to witness their joy. Maybe I can see it without negativity because am content and at peace in my own joy

KnightofMists -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 6:37:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI I had thought that I had that connection... and that had been manipulated, leaving a rotting experience. It is like any relationship, a lot of people, myself included seek that bond, that connection. Initially, I think that a lot of people lie to each other, to themselves, seeking that bond but with time, if it is not actually there, the entire experience eventually dies. For everyone involved and some will bear on, out of stubbornness, or routine, or denial hoping that what they glimpsed at the beginning was real, true and can be recaptured, experienced once again. Or so I have heard... I know nothing about any of that, nothing. I can so relate to this. When kyra crossed paths with Alandra and I we where in the process of breaking way from the delusions and lies of another relationship. In many ways Kyra actually came at our darkest hour. Which to me makes it all the amazing that we three developed to what we have today. Yeah. Blessed indeed.

KnightofMists -> RE: That connection. (7/25/2012 6:39:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida I wrote some really long posts recently about my relationship and some fears I've dealt with. And in those writings I realized how hard it's been for me to admit just how much he, and this relationship, does for me. I talked to him about that Sunday night, telling him this difficulty of mine. He smiled and said he knew, and he's in no hurry for me to get to that place - it will happen when it happens. No pressure, just love. And that love beckons me to keep giving him everything I can. What the connection does for me is it allows me to give and receive love as I haven't known it before. And that makes me so very grateful. I still struggle at times with accepting the depth of the love I recieve. Honestly I kinda like that I do. It reminds me that it is not just a given and that such depth is earned as mch or than its enjoyed

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