LadyHibiscus
Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005 From: Island Of Misfit Toys Status: offline
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I really do think that people experience it differently, and I do wish that the "professionals" who do the screening were a bit more open to... anything at all. Many years ago, I knew I need a different doctor. I was in very bad shape, to say the least, in spite of my tough love family. I gathered myself up with my not-inconsiderable will, put on outside clothes, and got myself down to the center at the hospital. Where I was told that I was "not sick enough". I asked if I had come in in a bloody nightgown, would that have been proof? Evidently, yes. I am not sure exactly how I looked that day... but I looked at the stapler on that man's desk, and thought hard about leaving a dent in his frontal lobe. I told him that I was not leaving until I got an appointment. And I got my appointment. And I didn't get arrested, because it's never a good day to be arrested. (my doctor is very good, too, I'm still with him) Having grown up surrounded by death, illness, and similar entertainments, I am not sure if I can compare a physical illness to a mental one. What's it like for my "fiancees" who are bipolar? I told my doctor once that I wished I were manic, because I thought that's how regular people felt all the time. He explained that really I would do stuff like cash out my bank account and drive to Alaska on a whim. Which wouldn't be terribly practical. I'm actually a happy person, people like being around me, I laugh all the time, and make other people laugh. My life is pretty spectacular. It's hard to explain that you can be depressed and happy at the same time! Every day, chop wood carry water, eh?
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