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Dom for a couple advice. - 7/28/2012 6:36:35 AM   
samjones90


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline 		Her and I started looking int BDSM and got to know people after our first munch. We got to know Daddy very well and eventually stayed overnight. We have been talking about our limits and thinking everything through. She is more brave than me by far and has fewer limits than me. We have progressed a ton in 2yrs. When do you know it's truly time to go all the way. Hard to make the decision to give up my apartment and move in as his slave. She is very happy and wants too see more of me. She moved in over 6 months ago and said there is a lot more oppurtunity for me. Confused on what to do.
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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 7/28/2012 7:12:32 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I don't really understand the context, but whenever I'm struggling with a decision I sit down and write out all the pros and cons and the answer reveals itself.

Before giving up your apartment, why don't you try live-in slavery for a week or month first? How much real face time have you had with Daddy?

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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 7/28/2012 7:27:05 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		sam, I tried reading your profile for enlightenment, but your profile simply states that you're a single male sub looking for a Domme.

I'm trying to figure out what you're saying and this is the best I can come up with, with my comments in italics: "I'm a submissive man in a 2 year relationship with a woman. Is she Domme, sub, or switch? She moved in with Daddy six months ago. We went to some munches and met locals, including Daddy. She wants to have me move in as well. Should I?"

First, you should be asking the other locals about his local rep. Then you three need to figure out how the dynamics of the relationship would work. Then you need to try out staying for weekends and see if problems arise. Then you'll have more info to base a decision on.

I'd have serious concerns about how you'd fit in, unless both you and Daddy are bi.

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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 7/28/2012 7:28:44 AM   
samjones90


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline 		I have been around Daddy religiously even after she moved in. I really want to but, something inside me makes me nervous of the next level. I guess only time will tell.

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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 7/28/2012 7:31:19 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: samjones90

Her and I started looking int BDSM and got to know people after our first munch. We got to know Daddy very well and eventually stayed overnight. We have been talking about our limits and thinking everything through. She is more brave than me by far and has fewer limits than me. We have progressed a ton in 2yrs. When do you know it's truly time to go all the way. Hard to make the decision to give up my apartment and move in as his slave. She is very happy and wants too see more of me. She moved in over 6 months ago and said there is a lot more oppurtunity for me. Confused on what to do.


Hey there, I just have to reiterate that you need to be more clear here. You came for advice and there are people that will help, but they need to understand what you are asking. This is a written medium and it's hard sometimes to convey everything you need to in order to outline things enough for someone who doesn't know you or your situation.
How about adding some more detail?

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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 7/28/2012 7:53:18 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		How far away do they live?

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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 7/28/2012 11:52:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Frankly, it took us five years for clip to move in. That's rather long, but we had several periods where we were separated by distance and circumstance. That's even with all of those things that Steven mentioned about reputation, poly plan, and visits of various lengths. It's still a really big decision so don't rush into it if any of you aren't comfortable. In our situation, it was Me who was last to be ready to be a three person household.



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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 8/5/2012 11:05:05 AM   
Silentrunner26


Posts: 424
Joined: 7/15/2009
Status: offline 		If your not totally into it then wait and think about it . You jump in now and you don't like it then it is going to go realy bad .

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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 9/18/2012 4:52:51 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		I not sure if your asking about you two being equal subs to this Daddy ? Or your being sub to her and she sub to him ? Either way I think you have to ask your self first are you comfortable as a male sub and submiiting to a Male Dom some male subs seek or have been tested those waters weather on their own or a limit they set with a Mistress too push it . Hopefully I didn't confuse you more then you might already be

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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 9/18/2012 7:29:49 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Okay for clarity's sake can you please let us know who "she" is to you and who "Daddy" is to both of you?



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RE: Dom for a couple advice. - 9/18/2012 11:58:27 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Ok, I think what you're saying here is you are in a MMF triad, where you and Daddy are bisexual and you and your gf are sub/slaves to Daddy, and the three of you were happy. Your gf moved in with Daddy to be fulltime with him 6 months ago and now they are inviting you to join them in moving into fulltime?

You're scared, that's normal. It's a big step. But like all big changes in life, what you have to do is look at the situation objectively, make sure you've got all your bases covered, then jump in.

The basic checklist before you go jumping into a fulltime position includes:
- Do you trust the people you're moving in with?
- Is this trust justified?
- What will your life be like?
- Is that something you're willing to do?
- Is there a way for you to change your mind after you get there?
- How difficult would it be for you to move back out after you've moved in?
- Is there a contingency plan for if things end?
- Is it enough?

And in this situation,
- Are you happy with the relationship between the three of you, are you comfortable with her and Daddy having a close relationship, do you have any doubts about the relationship between the three of you?
- If in x amount of time down the road Daddy is suddenly unable to support the two of you for whatever reason, would you be able to get back in the work force and get on your feet? Would you two be able to support him?
- If after moving in with them you become unhappy, is there a way you could discuss it with them? Is there a pre-negotiated "exit plan"? What would happen if you are released from the household?
- If you decide not to move in, what would happen?

Good luck!

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Profile   Post #: 11
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