|
Karmastic -> RE: A bit apprehenisve! (8/2/2012 12:14:09 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Davidburke379
Thank You all again for your advice. I do appreciate it.
@karmastic. Our marriage isn't "failing" Actually, we have a pretty good marriage. just because we don't see eye-to-eye on something doesn't mean that our marriage isn't working.
Anyway, so I have talked with my wife some more on this and expressed to her my concerns and worries. Obviously, the whole tease and denial thing really gets her hot, we all know that much by now. She likes the fact that she is controlling my orgasms. She looks at it more like I am making the sacrafice of my orgasm for her. The whole dominant role on her part is something that she has wanted to do for a while, according to her. With that said, she isn't looking to deny me forever here. She said we can experiment and see how it goes. I told her the chastity thing is the part that I was really concerned about and she said not to worry about that and we would see how things go. She said we can still do the whole tease and dneial thing without the actual chastity and that she would trust me to behave. We had a pretty long conversation about it and she said she did a lot of research about the subject and learned a lot. She is very excited about it and hoped that I would give it a try. She says that a lot of men/relationships can benefit from it.
So, after our conversation I did some more research on the Internet and looked deeper about it all. She is right, I did find a lot of information about it all and it is true that some relationships benefit from this. It seems to be more common than I thought it was, not only the denial thing, but letting the woman in the relationship have a more dominant role. So, after thinking about it all for a while I think I am going to give it a try. our anniversay is next week, so maybe I will wait until then to tell her. Part of what she said about making sacrafices for each other makes sense to me. I'm going to look at this whole thing as a sacrafice that I am making for her. That is what relationships are about right? making sacrafices for each other in the name of love. I guess I will try it and see what happens. What do you guys think? Are there any guys that have done this for their woman? What do you women think about this?
Davidburke379, i'm glad to see that you feel better about things, and are getting what you think is good advice from the others (i assume, not from me, and that's okay). i didn't mean to offend you with my blunt opinion, and i'm sorry that some people got so emotionally sidetracked on whether or not they liked how i expressed my opinion. that kinda sucks, but i'm used to it from these same people, with the same tired not so veiled personal attacks. again, sorry your thread got sucked into that a bit. the mods don't seem to recognize this dynamic with these people.
re what i bolded above. the answer is, a strong and vehement NO - a dominant person does NOT sacrifice and submit to another dominant person, PERIOD. well, assuming you're not a switch.
so, if you consider yourself dominant, then i stick to my original opinion. but perhaps, if you're questioning this, then that's truly where you should focus your energy. and not on this or that particular kink that you'll be submissive to your wife for. because these kink details are really irrelevant to what i see is the true issue here (and spurious arguments about this or that kink, or who has experience with them): you've told us that you're not submissive, and aren't comfortable that your wife is now being fully honest with you, and wants to change up the deal so to speak, and be sexually dominant.
i do think that you going through this process is helping you understand yourself, notwithstanding the sort of coddling and unrealistic advice i think you are being given. i really do wish you all the best.
|
|
|
|
