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NerdMasterDom -> RE: Can you live without it? (8/1/2012 8:32:00 AM)
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quote:
As someone who has been into the spanking fetish for as long back as I can remember, I know exactly how it fills my daydreams and idle hours. In the past, I have tried to live without it. To cast the monkey off my back and embrace the vanilla world. My efforts were far from successful.
Do you think that you could leave whatever fetish you have behind? Can you wash it from your mind and set yourself free? Or are you a slave (pun intended) to the desires that are tattooed onto your psyche?
Some of my fetishes and fetish interests (like feet, bondage, domination, capture, control) go back to my earliest memories, from long before I knew or understood the sexual element, and I spent many years of anguish over my "enslavement", and tried plenty of times to set myself free, after all I'm a Dominant, very much into control. At our inner core we contain our opposite, though, it is what allows us to relate to our flip-side.
But it was all only ever denial (and not the river in Africa), and often, while I was playing "vanilla", I would simply find myself fantasizing about my true interests anyway.
By the time I was in college, I deliberately majored in Psychology, studied up on the load of claptrap around this sort of thing and came to own and fully accept myself as I am, garnering a whole lot more BDSM interests along the way, since then I have picked up quite a few more, I indulge myself in them any time I get the chance, they are erotic, arousing, exciting, fulfilling, the best!
In order to know virtue, we must first acquaint ourselves with vice.
Marquis de Sade
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