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I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 7:32:22 AM   
redsoxownu15


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/18/2012
Status: offline 		I'm looking to explore my fetish, I don't really know what I want. I am open to some, but not all. I don't see myself being a sub, but I don't necessarily see myself being a dom. I want someone who is switch, so we could take turns. What I want is someone I can fool around with that will give me self confidence and help me to open up a bit. In a relationship, I hope to have fun and foreplay like this, but also normal at other times. I want to try different things with different people so I can discover what I like/dislike. I can only do internet fun for now since most people only meet up for serious commitment. Please help!

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 7:40:05 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 7:40:38 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Welcome Red

There is nothing that says you can only have kinky fun if you're in a serious relationship. You look young, and you should be trying out relationships for size, and not all of them need to be serious or long-term.

You sound like a bedroom switch, which is fine. All you need to do is find someone who wants the same things. Have you thought about going to local munches and stuff? Clubs and parties will allow you to try out and observe different aspects of bdsm in a safe, controlled environment. It also allows you to meet others and make friends, which may lead onto relationships of whatever kind.

You might also want to see if there is a TNG (the next generation) group in your area. These are under-35 groups which lets you young uns meet and have fun without us crusty oldies hanging around

I wish you luck in your search.


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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 7:42:47 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		what the ever so wise Bunny said.

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polysnortatious
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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 7:49:48 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Welcome to the discussion side of CM. Redsox.

You're gotten some good advice so far. I will add: Please see BDSM and all it's many nuances and fetishes as a huge buffet. Some people go for the shrimp, others are allergic. Some eat red meat, others are vegetarian or vegan. You get to partake of whatever parts of the buffet suit you.

As you get more experienced, your tastes may change, and you may feel more adventuresome. Kudos to you for starting on this journey; that is a major first step.

Best, CP

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 7:54:44 AM   
redsoxownu15


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/18/2012
Status: offline 		Osidegirl, thanks for the welcome. I've had an account here for awhile, I just never visited this.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 7:55:25 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		To find yourself, you must first lose yourself.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:01:16 AM   
redsoxownu15


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/18/2012
Status: offline 		myotherside, Yes, but I have way too many insecurities that I wanted to get rid of here. If I were to explain in detail, you might understand, but I don't want to waste your time. I found out about a local bondage club on fetlife, but it says only 21+, I don't know of any more. I'd love to go, I'd learn so much. Even though us kids wouldn't want any fossils running around, it'd still be nice to have someone who is very experienced. Old and wise.

Thank you so much for your help.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:04:00 AM   
redsoxownu15


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/18/2012
Status: offline 		Crazyml, believe me... when it comes to any of this, not just bdsm, but sex, or anything.. I never even had myself. I've been trying to defeat this dragon forever.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:05:11 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		try fetlife. much as I enjoy CM, fetlife is much better for finding local groups.

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:11:47 AM   
redsoxownu15


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/18/2012
Status: offline 		Greedytop, I did try fetlife, but you have to pay for a full membership and I didn't really get anywhere as far as decorating my profile is concerned. It's just too confusing and it's hard to find what I want so see, plus I figure if I can't watch videos because I'm not a complete member.. then why else do this?

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:13:05 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Fetlife does not require payment.
You must have gotten to a different site. Check your spelling.

Clubs will require 21+ to avoid youngsters buying alcohol. Munches are held in public restaurants and don't always have an age limit. They will be just people talking in ordinary clothes, and no play. But it's a good way to make friends and bounce questions and thoughts off of people.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 7/31/2012 8:15:59 AM >

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:15:40 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I do not understand your response re: 'decorating' your profile. And since you seemed to be confused about finding local groups: you do NOT need to pay anything to FL to find them.


RE: videos... if all you want is wank fodder, there is plenty of that for free on the interwebs.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to redsoxownu15)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:16:06 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Fetlife is a great place to start if you want to 'meet' other locals without leaving the safety of your computer

I'm not a full member there either, but I can do pretty much everything except watch the videos.

Once you're logged on you can search for your local area. For example, I live in the north-east of england so I typed 'newcastle' and found a whole slew of groups based around newcastle.

Go into the groups, say hi (just like you did here) and...that's it really!

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There's nowt so queer as folk


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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:18:17 AM   
redsoxownu15


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/18/2012
Status: offline 		Desfip, fetlife won't let me watch videos.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:21:20 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		so.. you want wank fodder. I repeat: there are plenty of free sources for wank fodder. If you want to actually MEET REAL LIVE HUMANS in the search for an REAL LIVE LOCAL INTERACTION, then Fet is a great resource.

edited to replace a wayward letter...

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 7/31/2012 8:22:17 AM >

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to redsoxownu15)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:30:11 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Who cares about vids on FET? I joined to meet local people. BOOM! There's a cute little masochist that lives 2 miles away. Munches can be a hell of a lot of fun too.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 8:56:30 AM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		Welcome to CM. I'm a die hard Mets fan but I am also fond of Bill Buckner. (Most Bosox fans still shed a tear or two at the memory...)

You live in NY? Lots of local groups. Look for TNG (the next generation) for younger groups.

I'm on FetLife and don't pay. I don't need to view the vids, I'm not on it for visual masturbatory material. I use it for the discussion groups & to stay current with friends & the local events.

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 12:11:38 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

fetlife won't let me watch videos.


I never even knew FL had videos until this thread. I use fetlife to find BDSM events.

Welcome!

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RE: I'm new and need help finding myself - 7/31/2012 12:16:25 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		They do and want you to pay for them.

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